by Michael | Apr 17, 2018 | Blog
Vow renewals are wonderful and significant events. Of course, they cost money. But one advantage of a vow renewal over a wedding, say, is that you have control. You decide the budget (not your parents) and choose the type of ceremony you will have (not your parents!!!).
If, however, the idea of saving some money appeals, you might like to bear the following in mind:
What season?
If you’re booking a hall or room, autumn and winter tend to be the quietest times – and the most likely to be open for negotiation when asking for quotes. Avoid the Christmas/New Year period and Valentine’s Day too.
What time?
A morning ceremony and reception can work out very well for you, as brunch will cost a lot less than dinner. Moreover, people will be less likely to want alcohol at this time of day, which should save you a lot.
Which location?
If you are members of a church or synagogue, you will probably have to pay very little, if you decide to use their facilities. However, if you shop around, you may find municipal historic buildings and gardens available at a surprisingly low cost. If it’s to be a small ceremony, you could consider holding it at home (although you may have to hire equipment, which can add to your bill considerably).
How many guests?
Food and drink are the biggest costs. If inviting people from work, try spare hurt feelings by doing it by department etc. You may not need to invite children. And why invite someone you haven’t seen in years?
Invitations and programmes
Today’s 10-year-old can design and print off invitations and programmes – and may not even want paying! You can also save money if friends or relatives can prepare something they may do as a hobby – I’m thinking of flower arrangements, or a musical entertainment. Perhaps they can lay on a luxurious car, for example.
Food and Drink
If you want a theme, choose one which is less expensive (such as “A Day in Italy”). Pasta and the like are popular but not dear. If you have a bar, limit what you offer for free.
Flowers
It is normally cheaper to buy locally-grown flowers. It is worth telling your florist that you do expect to cut costs!
Finally …
Start planning early and concentrate on the essentials. Then you can ensure you have a wonderful event.
And you may even be within budget!
Michael will be happy to advise you on setting up a Vow Renewal ceremony.
by Michael | Aug 22, 2017 | Blog
If the title has brought you here and you’re expecting practical advice about choosing your wedding venue, you may be disappointed!
It’s not the practicalities that I want to address in this piece, but imagination.
So if you want to learn about how to deal with venues, you may be better advised to read this article
Otherwise, stay here. This may indeed help you choose a venue, but I want to take you with me in dreams – and who knows where that may lead!
Why hold a ceremony at all?
Of course, a ceremony should mark a person’s particular milestone (be it, birthday, wedding, naming, vow renewal, or whatever). It’s an opportunity for others to take time out and show that the person in the spotlight really means a lot to them.
It’s an opportunity for the host/hostess to invite the people who truly matter to them to be present at a significant time in their life.
I don’t see the point, then, in holding a dull, unexceptional ceremony. You might as well have one that’s outstanding and memorable. Now, as a civil celebrant, part of my work is to make your ceremony unique. I can certainly contribute!
However, another component that is important to making the event stand out is the venue.
A gamble?
A wonderful setting for a handfasting!Those of you who have been with me over several years may remember a handfasting I did on Old Sarum, an Iron Age fort overlooking Salisbury. It was January, the site was totally exposed, and it was one of the wettest winters on record. I was up there (including preparation time) for over two hours; the guests for some fifty minutes. What if it had rained the way it did as I drove there a few hours previously? Or as it did, accompanied by thunder and lightning, when I drove back? The ceremony could have been a disaster! A complete wash-out!
As it was, we had a mild day for January and even a few minutes of sunshine. The atmosphere of the ruins and location and, indeed, the skies, was something quite special, and I don’t believe any of those there will ever forget that ceremony!
It was a gamble well worth taking!
Magic
Money has to enter into it, naturally, but, if you can stretch to it, there are some remarkable venues available. I’m going to speak about just one, but you don’t need to keep your imagination bound. A pod on the London Eye can be hired; a ceremony can be held for you at Stonehenge (or Old Sarum); what about under the sea, on a beach, in a forest, up a mountain or beside a canal?
Any of these may have an atmosphere like nowhere else, and fit with your personality and passions.
I was recently asked to conduct a wedding at Castle Goring, near Worthing. I had never heard of the castle, and, as it turned out, because the signposting was very poor, I nearly missed the place altogether!
However, what a treat it was! Set amid quiet, beautiful grounds, it looked like a castle should.
Moreover, our ceremony was to take place outdoors (and the sun shone!). The setting proved to be fabulous. I can vouch that the interior was magnificent too.
If I’m honest, I think I did a very good job that day – but thanks to the setting and ambiance, I could hardly go wrong!
Advice
So visit a few venues, with a list of questions. Of course, the ‘boring bits’ need to be addressed, but what matters most about your visit is what your heart is telling you. If you know it’s the right place, then don’t hesitate!
For any help with venues, or anything connected with the ceremony, please contact me!
by Michael | Oct 3, 2016 | Blog
Things do go wrong. Even at weddings. Even when you’ve done everything possible It’s just the nature of the thing. Everything may not run smoothly. S**t happens, as they say.
So what can you do about it?
When something goes wrong (through negligence), you may want to sue. I’m a civil celebrant, and not competent to comment in this area, so I’ll leave it to you to consult an expert, if you can’t resolve your issue amicably.
Of course, prevention is the best cure. If you start your planning early, and are diligent in your choices, you reduce the chances of catastrophe considerably.
The areas most likely to cause problems are:
Dresses; videos; photos; venues; flowers; rings; cars; make-up; catering; suits.
Suppliers
When choosing your suppliers, it pays to go by recommendation. However, this is not always available. You can look and see if there are complaints against your supplier. Search their name plus “complaints” on Google and see what comes up. It might be instructive.
Their fan page on Facebook may also tell you something. As may Twitter.
Otherwise, a meeting may help to reassure you (sometimes gut feelings are very helpful). Ask plenty of questions and watch out for any answers that don’t feel right.
Questions
When dealing with your suppliers, make sure you ask them:
- if they can guarantee delivery of your product on the desired day and time (or in a reasonable time-frame)
- if they can guarantee the product will be fit for its agreed use
- what back-up arrangements are there (and what are their terms for refunds?)
- what their full contact numbers are (e-mail, phone and emergency phone), especially for the big day
- what the payment and delivery terms actually are
It is wise to check terms and conditions before you pay the deposit. Go through these carefully (or get a well-disposed and intelligent friend to do this for you!).
Your Civil Celebrant
Although many UK Civil Celebrants may belong to an association that regulates their conduct (such as the Association of Independent Celebrants or the UK Society of Celebrants), there is currently no obligation to do so. In exceptional cases, they may not even have been trained (properly).
If you can’t get first-hand referrals or locate independent reviews, have a look at their website. There may be video evidence of their competence. Social media may help you get a picture of them. A face-to-face chat, a Skype conversation or, failing that, a phone call is a wonderful idea, because you will then get a feel for their personality. You need to trust your celebrant and have the sense that you will get on well with them.
As a civil celebrant, I believe in working professionally throughout (and with humour, when appropriate!).
Once I receive a deposit (usually £100) and your signed booking form, your date is secure and I start work shortly after. I always consult you, so that your needs are understood and met.
I aim to respond in reasonable time to enquiries etc., deal appropriately with any complaints – which I hope will never happen! – and work efficiently and effectively so that any ceremony I prepare meets (or exceeds) my client’s expectations. I aim to arrive on the day an hour before the scheduled start time, and promise to conduct any ceremony to the best of my ability.
Your side of the bargain
You have responsibilities to the supplier too.
- Make sure you pay your deposit and/or balance on time
- Respond to e-mails/calls in a timely manner
- Don’t leave it to the last minute to make demands or changes
- You have a share in ensuring that your relationship is a civil and pleasant one
If you are careful and start planning early, you can significantly reduce the risk of things going wrong – perhaps, not quite to zero, but very low. And you can also be pleased with yourself that you have done all that you can.
Good luck with it all!
by Michael | Sep 20, 2016 | Blog
When you’re preparing for a major life-cycle event, there are crucial decisions to be made. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a wedding, vow renewal, naming ceremony or even a funeral; you’re going to want to get it right.
Getting it right will depend on your choices as well as your budget. This is a mighty subject, so I propose to limit myself to weddings today.
Crucial decisions will, of course, vary from couple to couple. For some, flowers will be absolutely essential as a component of the wedding; others may see them as a desirable extra. People will normally want photographers/videographers, and these need to be chosen carefully (see my blog on this).
The most important decisions will surely revolve around the ceremony and the reception.
Ceremony
Will you have a full religious wedding in a religious building? The ceremony may well include the legal bits, which can be handy. But logistically, you’ll have to consider how you – and the guests – get from the church (or whatever) to the reception.
What if you don’t want a full religious service? Or even a part-religious one?
There are options, such as using a civil celebrant like myself. I can conduct a unique, tailor-made ceremony for a couple, with as much or as little religion or ritual etc. as they want. They will still need to have been legally married by the registrars beforehand (either at the Register Office or immediately before, at the same premises as the bespoke ceremony).
You may need to consider also how formal you want the ceremony to be, how many participants to involve (ushers, bridesmaids, Best Man/Woman etc.), the music, the decorations and so on. Do you plan to write your own vows?
Venue
Go and visit a number of possible venues, once you’ve had a look at their websites. There’s no substitute for getting a feel for the place (your gut feeling is so important here). You will also want to come equipped with a list of questions. If the event planner isn’t very helpful, does it make much sense to choose that venue?
Reception
Depending on what you want and can afford, you will have to look at who you invite and what sort of seating plan you go with. Are you having a sit-down meal or a buffet? Will there be canapés etc? When choosing a caterer, do ask to sample some of what they can offer.
Will there be gaps in the proceedings that might need an entertainer? Or a toastmaster? Will you want a disco? Might you provide a quiet area? What about children?
Have you thought about speeches?
Useful help
As you will have seen from this overview, there are many, many issues to address. A professional wedding planner will ease you through this (at a cost, of course). If you start early enough, the issues should not overwhelm you, but maybe I can offer you some welcome help?
I have written a book on this very subject: “Your Wedding Guide”. For less than £5, you can buy it on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/2e9RcqS
Alternatively, if you contact me with your e-mail address, I shall be delighted to e-mail you my free Wedding Countdown Checklist, which will suggest important tasks you need to do and time-frames for completing them.
I look forward to being of service to you!
by Michael | May 24, 2016 | Blog
So you’re planning a major event – a wedding or vow renewal, perhaps? Where do you want to hold it? At home? In church? At a hotel? In town or in the country? Or at a venue that’s a little more wacky?
Of course, budget is going to enter into it, as will your personal preferences. Maybe you just want a modest family affair, with a few select friends. Or maybe money is no object for this (hopefully!) once-in-a-lifetime occasion.
So forgive me for not being prescriptive, but at least I can give you a few ideas and set your creative juices flowing.
Practicalities
Before letting your imagination take wing, bear in mind the following:
- Venues tend to get booked about a year beforehand
- Ensure you visit your venue, have a good look (does the atmosphere delight you?) and ask the event planner lots of questions (are the answers what you want to hear?)
- What is the transport situation of the venue (if you’re having a church service first, how easy will it be to get to the venue and park?)
- If the venue is outdoors, make sure you get permission, and be prepared for the unpredictable!
Conventional ideas
There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing a conventional venue – why seek out complexity and potential problems? You can still make the day unique, for example, with a wonderful civil ceremony.
A back garden can make a lovely setting (beware health and safety issues and have a Plan B, in case of inclement weather). There will be extra stress, if you are handling the catering yourselves, but that is another subject!
Many people choose a hotel or restaurant. (If it’s a restaurant, make sure you have the place to yourselves, especially if you’re having speeches etc.) The registrars will come in , if it’s a licensed venue. If not (then you will have been down to the register office already), you can have a tailor-made civil ceremony/blessing etc. at the venue afterwards. This should be no problem, as long as you arrange it in good time.
More Creative ideas
The world is potentially your oyster, but when you get inspiration, don’t be blinded by excitement! If you like the idea of getting married on the seashore, sit down first and think about things such as transport, weather, refreshments and access. You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm too much, but you don’t want to be facing up to regrets at a later stage.
If you’re looking for ideas in the UK, you may choose something that fits in with your hobbies. I officiated at one ceremony at the Basingstoke Canal Centre. It might not have been everybody’s choice, but it was just perfect for the particular couple.
Stately homes and castles may all provide unforgettable settings (at a price!), and then there are places like a pod on the London Eye, or at an attraction such as a zoo or aquarium, or museum. You might be able to arrange a special bus or train.
Outdoors, there’s plenty to choose from: what about the inner circle at Stonehenge or an iron age fort like Old Sarum? Perhaps you fancy a forest clearing, a mountain top or something more exotic, like abseiling down Ben Nevis? (I’m not sure you can do that, but it’s just a thought!)
So before taking wing, plant your feet on the ground! Do consider the practicalities BEFORE jumping headlong into what appears a wonderful, novel, unique adventure.
Be prepared to be guided by professionals (event planners, civil celebrants, etc.), but then go where your fancy takes you and really have the day of your dreams!
