by Michael | Dec 16, 2015 | Blog
Now you’ve decided to consider a vow renewal, how can you save money on it?
The good news about vow renewals is that they tend to be a lot cheaper than weddings! However, nobody wants to spend more than they need to, so here are some suggestions that can lighten the load.
Venue
If you opt for a building or place of worship, you’ll find you’re in competition with people looking for a wedding venue. That means that the need to book early – and prices – will reflect the demand. What about holding the ceremony in your garden? It will take some time and effort to clean it up and prepare it, and a little imagination and expense to decorate it, but it could work very well. (Remember to warn the neighbours, though!)
You might be able to hold your ceremony in a public place like a park – but you may still need permission from the landowner (and there may well be a charge).
Clothing
If you still have the clothes you were married in, why not wheel them out again? You may have changed shape a bit in the intervening years, so do try them on well beforehand. A tailor’s alterations may save you a lot compared to buying a new outfit.
If you do want to buy from new, you may be able to find suitable attire at a good price online, or wait for sales’ season.
There’s nothing to stop you from having a casual ‘do’, so you can use clothes already in your wardrobe.
You could always compromise by buying a couple of items – shoes for her, and a tie for him, say.
Photographer
I always advocate a professional photographer for a wedding, and the same applies for a vow renewal. However, you can often get a cheaper rate, if you find a photographer just starting out. You might be able to enquire from a nearby college whether there are any photography students that they could recommend for you.
You can advertise, of course, although this can add quite a bit to your costs. Craigslist is seen by many photographers.
Food
There’s much to be said for professional caterers, but they do add a lot on to the price. A sit-down meal is complex as well as dear, but, provided you have places to sit, a buffet will work really well. If preparing it yourself, you could ask family and friends to bring a dish. You might be able to buy from wholesale cash and carries, if you’re buying in bulk, and save money that way.
Note that fruit and vegetables that are in season are likely to be cheaper.
Final thought
I haven’t mentioned the civil celebrant, but their ceremonies usually cost a lot less than weddings.
Using this advice, you should be able to plan a lovely ceremony without too much work or expense. As you would with a wedding, make sure you and your partner are in agreement about all the arrangements!
Enjoy!
by Michael | Dec 15, 2015 | Blog
Of course you are looking for the wedding of your dreams.
Every wedding is different. I can offer hints that will make almost any wedding better, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution. However, I think that some of these suggestions ought to help you with your wedding, whatever your vision may be.
The “Correct” Wedding
There is no such thing as a “correct” wedding.
Like many, you may go down the formal religious route, if that’s what you want. (Please note: I am not saying “if that’s what your parents want”, which is a whole different – though valid – issue!)
If you’re happy with the non-religious, but formulaic register office ceremony, then, of course, that’s fine too.
However, before deciding, bear in mind that you should celebrate your wedding in the way that makes sense to you (both). You need to follow your instincts. You can be creative. You can be yourself.
You don’t need to believe in God to have a ceremony that is sincere, inviting, personal to you, that will delight not only you both, but your family and friends.
With the help of your civil celebrant, you can create a ceremony that honours different cultures and traditions in a way that unites rather than divides.
Planning
Ideally, if your family is financing the affair, they should not dictate their beliefs or wishes on your big day. Please note that I am saying “YOUR big day”. If your parents can let go, there won’t be all that tension, and you’ll be free to have fun and enjoyment throughout the event.
The groom should be a part of the planning process. After all, if you are sharing a whole-life vision, why ignore such an important, significant occasion? The groom should certainly be given a chance to offer input (hopefully, he will not consider himself ‘superior’, nor should he be considered not worth consulting).
Perfection
If you demand perfection, you probably won’t enjoy the day (or lead-up). Of course, you can aim at a wonderful event and employ relevant, trusted professionals to help achieve that. But the goal of the wedding is that people will remember your wedding five, even ten, years on with a warm glow.
Follow these simple guidelines, and your wedding day should become a great deal more beautiful, memorable, stress-free and successful!
by Michael | Dec 15, 2015 | Blog
Is there any freedom to choose your wedding ceremony?
What if a full religious wedding doesn’t rock your boat?
The non-religious ceremony offered by the Register Office will tick some people’s boxes, but it is standardised. There’s nothing personal or special about it.
What if you could go to the Register Office in the morning in your jeans, with a couple of witnesses, to sign the marriage certificate – and then enjoy a wonderful, joyous ceremony in the afternoon or the next day with all your guests?
Nowadays, that is a possibility.
And your celebrant can really help you.
As long as the legal bit is still carried out, there’s nothing to stop you holding the ceremony you actually want – at the venue you want.
The Ceremony
One of the beauties about a celebrant-led wedding is that you will receive help (as much or as little as you want!) to build your own ceremony. So if you do want a religious component (and you are welcome to draw from various cultural sources), you can put it in; if you want spiritual elements, that’s absolutely possible; choosing your favourite poems and readings is an option that can contribute such a lot. Usually, you’ll be able to please yourselves AND keep your parents happy!
As well as the readings, you decide on the music. You also decide on the choreography (who walks or stands where), readers, the wording, and recital of the Vows. Your celebrant will be pleased to advise and make helpful suggestions. (This process of getting the ‘script’ word-perfect, usually conducted by e-mail, may take a number of e-mails.)
Ritual
You will be able to incorporate any rituals and little touches that would not otherwise have been possible, if you so wish. For example, why not drink together from a loving cup, light a Unity Candle or celebrate a handfasting (an ancient Celtic betrothal ritual)?
Conclusion
In short, this is YOUR day, and your celebrant, who will of course conduct the ceremony for you, will do everything to ensure that the day is unforgettable, meaningful and what YOU want.
Unlike previous generations, you have the freedom to choose every single thing about your ceremony, so that it fits in totally with your personal beliefs and wishes. Why shouldn’t your big day be exactly what you want it to be?
Let your civil celebrant work with you to ensure you achieve that rare goal of turning your dreams into reality.
by Michael | Dec 10, 2015 | Blog
A wedding jigsaw seems an apt description of the process. Putting a wedding together is all about how the various elements meld.
Naturally, there are many factors that make up a successful wedding. As a civil celebrant, my specialism lies in the ceremony itself, but I get to see and experience other aspects too. So here are a few rather random – but no less valuable – thoughts that may help to make a difference to your big day.
The Bride’s appearance
As a middle-aged male, I don’t pretend to be an expert in this particular field. However, everybody seems to focus on the dress, make-up and hair. One area that tends to be overlooked is the skin. Without radiant skin, the cosmetics won’t be effective.
As for the dress, I’d only say that it should fit the occasion (ie stylish, if it’s a formal occasion).
I’ll stand aside now, and let others give their (probably much sager) opinions!
Flowers
I would always advise hiring a professional. Go with their advice about seasonal displays. They will also look after the flowers – wilting flowers at a ceremony are so disappointing.
Photography
Whether you want the occasion recorded by video or still camera, you can save money by asking a friend to do the job. Just bear in mind that there are down sides to this. Firstly, your friend may well miss out on much of the celebrating and socialising. Then, if he is not a professional, he might stuff up, and there are no second chances at weddings! And, of course, if you don’t like his work, a long-standing friendship could be put at risk.
I think a professional is advisable, though a major added expense. Provided you choose wisely, the outlay will feel justified, once you see the results.
Celebrant
You need someone who knows what they are doing, that you can relate to and trust. Again, I have often written about choosing a good celebrant, but the importance of doing your homework can’t be overestimated. After all, you want the ceremony to be perfect. I would be more than willing to advise you further.
The Reception
Table plans can be the devil to draw up, but are actually very welcome for guests. A big do can be quite disorientating and a little direction will not go amiss. If you mix people up a bit (judiciously!), they can have a lovely time making new acquaintances. Resist any mischievous streak you may have and try not to settle old scores!)
Children
I have recently written about children at weddings. If you invite them, make sure they are occupied as much as possible. If they can participate in the ceremony, so much the better. At the reception, give them their own table (in the same room), with appropriate food and activities.
A miscellany, maybe, but I hope this was helpful and gave you a few things to think about when fitting the pieces together.
Featured image source: belleamour.co.uk
by Michael | Dec 8, 2015 | Blog
Organising a wedding together with a celebrant means your ‘script’ can be exactly what you want. Marriage vows are normally an integral part of the ceremony. But what do you say?
You don’t have to be original (you can use somebody else’s vows or enlist the help of your civil celebrant), but heartfelt vows make such a difference to the sincerity and beauty of the occasion.
So if you can write your own marriage vows, they may well turn out to be personal, moving and special for everyone.
But DON’T stuff up!
First things first
1. Make sure you and your partner BOTH want to do this.
2. Allow loads of time to write – and rewrite – the vows.
3. Decide on a few general things to say (worry about the detail later) – just have clear in your head what it is important.
4. Will your vows be serious, humorous, deep, spiritual, religious, or a combination?
5. Once you’ve got a few sentences down (and sixty seconds per person is quite long enough!), see about reworking them so they look and sound good to you.
What content should you put in?
• You should probably express deep emotional love for your partner
• Was your first meeting ‘love at first sight’? If so, talk about it.
• When did you first realise you were in love?
• How has your life changed since you met your partner/fell in love?
• Talk about your plans and aspirations for your future life together – or growing old together
• Promise to stay together in the future, come what may
If you prefer, quote from an appropriate song, film or poem. Metaphor or simile may get your message across very well, but less embarrassingly!
Improving the draft
1. Leave your draft a day or two, then review it. A brutal friend may help!
2. Practise reading the vows (alone!) in front of a mirror – or with your partner.
You don’t need to learn your vows off by heart, either – you can read them off a card, or even repeat them after the celebrant, if you prefer.
To come up with a meaningful, original and affecting set of vows is not as difficult as you may think. The results will certainly be more than worth the effort!
