by Michael | May 12, 2015 | Blog
Being on the other side of the fence at wedding fairs, I tend to note all sort of reactions from visitors. Of course, some are attending their very first show and are unsure what to expect; others may be attending for very specific purposes (it could be to see the venue or find a photographer, for example). I suppose some might be there for the freebies!
However, there is potentially a lot to take in and it can be a bit overpowering. I therefore offer a few tips that may help you get the most out of the experience.
Hints
- Arrive early. It tends to be less crowded then – and you are more likely to get freebies!
- Unless you’re focussed on finding just one particular supplier, such as a cake-maker, try and be methodical and cover all the aisles. You never know what you might otherwise miss.
- Don’t worry that stallholders will try and engage you. They won’t be offended if you’re not interested in their services; be curious, though. If you’re looking for ideas, they may have something to offer that you hadn’t expected. For example, quite a few people don’t know what a civil celebrant like myself offers, and are glad they stopped to chat.
- Make the experience as pleasant as possible. Do exchange smiles with others, even if you walk away with nothing from the stallholders. You may spend longer at the fair than you’re expecting; you may be on your feet a long time. You may also end up with quite a bit to carry (there are usually goody bags, in addition to flyers you may pick up along the way), so try not to encumber yourselves before you even arrive. Maybe avoid surplus clothing, depending on the weather outside. And do at least wear comfortable shoes. Bring some bottled water, so you don’t dehydrate.
- Be prepared to ask questions and to listen. This is an information-gathering exercise, so don’t feel inhibited. By all means, be prepared to make notes as you go through. You can also gain a useful snapshot of the enthusiasm and professionalism of your would-be supplier. You’re going to want to know you’ll feel a rapport with me, if I am to be creating your wedding ceremony and conducting it on the day!
- Collect cards and flyers from vendors. When you leave the show, you will probably feel overwhelmed and tired, and may not remember who told you what. This way you’ll be able to follow up with any supplier you want to. Incidentally, if you have a business card yourself (or prepare your own label), you can leave it with a supplier whom you want to contact you, and save time.
- There may be a fashion show. That can give you some good ideas, but if you’re already sorted with your dress, this might be a quiet and more relaxed time to visit the stalls instead.
- There will be things on sale you might not be expecting and opportunities to sign up with suppliers at special prices, so it may be as well to bring your wallet with you. And if you have a camera, you can take a snap to remind you at a later date what attracted you.
Meet the Celebrant!
My next wedding fair is on Sunday, 17th May at the prestigious Compleat Angler, Marlow. My book “Your Wedding Guide” will be available to purchase at my stand, and I’d be delighted to meet you and answer any questions you may have about conventional ceremonies or handfastings, say. (If you tell me you’ve come along as a result of this article, I’ll offer you 10% off any ceremony you may book with me!)
by Michael | Apr 29, 2015 | Blog
An insuperable obstacle?
Planning a wedding is a pretty daunting prospect. You may just be lucky, and have wise advisors and experienced, understanding support. The chances are, though, that it’s new to you, and you’re going to have to do the best you can. You’ll have to make – and learn from – your own mistakes. Some may be expensive.
An amazing solution
That sounds pretty grim. However, would you be prepared to spend about £5 to get a dependable, easy-to-follow guide?
If so, you have come to the right place!
As part of my role as civil celebrant, I frequently come across couples swimming in a sea of bewilderment and despair. There’s not a lot of help out there for them – although there is at least the option of an event planner. Naurally, these don’t come cheaply.
What if there was a guide that they could buy for ‘peanuts’, that would lead them gently and securely towards the Eldorado of a successful wedding? Towards a unique, memorable and meaningful day? That would offer them great ideas? Something that they could consult at every step of the way?
Well, look no further.
I am proud and excited to announce that I have put the proverbial pen to paper (except it’s all been done by computer, of course) and produced a handbook specifically aimed at helping couples get on their way with a minimum of fuss or difficulty. That’s not to say that there isn’t still hard work to be done, or time and money to expend. Of course, there is, but you can at least be sure that you are progressing, covering most eventualities and not going round in circles.
What areas are covered?
Some of the areas I look at include:
- choice of ceremony and celebrant
- the service: rituals, vows, music, etc.
- ‘team’ roles
- speeches
- guests
- children
- same-sex weddings
- hiring professionals
- social media
I don’t pretend to have something for absolutely everyone (budgets, as well as taste, will vary enormously), but I am convinced that there is so much in the wedding guide for everyone (from first-timers to wedding planners!).
I am delighted to be the one to fill what seems to be a huge gap in the market.
If you know somebody who might benefit from this handbook, please put them in touch with me. It’s easy to buy: just click here, and you’ll be through to Amazon.
I am not actually anticipating a million-seller block-buster, but I am really excited to be offering practical help to couples, so that they can have the wedding they are dreaming about!
by Michael | Apr 22, 2015 | Blog
An innocent invitation
My wife and I were invited to a wedding recently – I am more used to being the Civil Celebrant than a wedding guest, so the boot was on the other foot this time! The couple were starting a new home together and had a Wedding List from John Lewis.
So we had a look to see what we could get them.
I had dire images in my mind of ridiculous, extravagant presents that we could never afford to buy, but fortunately they were requesting a range of items varying from about £25 to a couple of hundred pounds. As long as you got in fairly quickly, you could buy what you wanted without necessarily bankrupting yourself.
A more demanding invitation
But what if they had been requesting the contents of the Bank of England vaults (assuming anything is there)?
What if they had been having the wedding in some tropical paradise?
Would it have had to come down to deciding whether or not to attend because the demands on our pockets were too great ?
We would have been really sorry to have missed that wedding (on a number of counts). Marriage was important to them (as it is to us). Also, our friendship presumably was too.
In this instance, as I’ve have said, we weren’t placed in the dilemma of having to decide whether to attend or not. But what if we had been?
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
If your emotions tell you one thing, but your head tells you another, can there be a compromise? Well, I’d say so.
Of course, you could make some excuse about unavailability, which would avoid embarrassing yourself by giving the real reason. That doesn’t help, though, if your heart is set on attending. (Incidentally, if you’re not going to show up, give maximum warning so that someone else could possibly be invited in your stead. And certainly ensure that you don’t leave it so late that the couple are charged for the meal you’ll not be consuming.)
But how about being up front? “I’d love to come to your wedding, but my budget doesn’t stretch that far at the moment. But maybe we can take you out for a lovely dinner [or a show or something equivalent that is affordable] at another date?”
That way, at least you show that you do value their friendship.
Moreover, send them a lovely, personal congratulatory good wishes card, which is a lovely touch.
And going out with them for that meal or show means you’ll be spending quality time with your friends. Not something you can do at a wedding, of course.
So perhaps there is a viable alternative to breaking the bank when it comes to being a wedding guest.
by Michael | Mar 24, 2015 | Blog
I’m a dinosaur. I’m not entirely proud of the fact, and occasionally do manage to move with the times a bit. But I am gradually coming to terms with the fact that social media in the wedding world are here to stay.
Certainly, seeing photos online the day after the wedding is very desirable.
However, I feel that the occasion is diminished by legions of smartphone-users raising arms every moment to capture yet another picture. It detracts from the atmosphere, spoils the view of other guests and can ruin the shots of the photographer whom the couple may have paid to be there.
Some weddings are now being referred to as “insta-weddings” because of the social media frenzy they generate.
Couples will have their own opinions. A British study of brides’ expectations shows that nearly half believe it is important to enforce digital rules on wedding guests, with one in seven wishing mobile phones could be banned.
It’s something for you to consider, and here are a few thoughts that may help you make up your mind.
Before the event
• Engagement/wedding
Make sure you inform your family and close friends before posting the news online.
• Invitations
E-vites are an acceptable use of social media.
Invitation replies
Probably safer to ask people to use Royal Mail. You need to track the replies, and this may work out more reliable than FaceBook and the like.
At the event
Rules
In my experience, most couples feel that there should be rules about social media. These rules vary, of course, but many believe that it should be the couple who are the first to post wedding photos on a social media site. A lot also feel that bridesmaids should not be allowed to upload photos of brides before the ceremony.
Whatever you decide, you need to inform your guests clearly. It pays to communicate with your guests.
Of course, people should be welcome to take photos of themselves, if they want.
Afterwards
Do send out ‘thank you cards’ – but not by e-mail or social media. They ought to be hand-written.
Social Media Ideas
In certain cases, friends of the pair may create a hashtag handle for tweeting and photo-sharing. This also ensures that each wedding is distinctive. Useful, if you happen to be invited to a whole lot of weddings in one season.
A bride can nowadays designate a “Tweeter of Honour”, if she has too much to occupy herself with.
Instagrams can show natural, unforced moments. Nonetheless, it’s very rare that such photos beat the professional photographer’s shots.
Advantages of photo-sharing are that guests can contribute to a designated wedding album and, of course, those unable to attend, may be able to see photos or even live streams.
Beware of overkill, by the way. Thousands of posts before the wedding will be a turn-off.
Whether or not you opt for social media, moderation is advisable – and do make sure you communicate your wishes to your guests.
by Michael | Mar 3, 2015 | Blog
One of the joys of my job is that I create a unique ceremony. My clients have the freedom to choose precisely how they want their event to pan out. They will be in control of the amount (if any) of religion, rituals, music, readings and participation.
However, it’s worth having a closer look at “unique”. There are only so many different venues, rituals or readings available for your service – but the combination and choice can add up to “unique”.
Venue
In 2014, 33.5% of UK marriages were conducted in a religious building (mostly, churches). The registry office accounted for 10.5%. That leaft over half taking place elsewhere.
The most popular place was a hotel (nearly 20%), followed by a castle (15.5%). Almost 5% got married abroad and just fewer than 1% tied the knot in a marquee.
That leaves a fraction over 15% whose wedding took place somewhere else again!
Intriguingly, I couldn’t find any statistics for this large share of the market, but I guess we are looking at more imaginative places such as sea-shores, back gardens, hot-air balloons, underwater – and who knows where!
What it does show is that people are more aware of creative possibilities and more open to civil ceremonies.
Cost
The majority of weddings in 2014 (34%) cost between £5,000 and £10,000, although those spending between £10,000 and £20,000 were close behind (33.2%). Almost a quarter spent £5,000 or less.
The costs are unlikely to have diminished over this passage of time.
The honeymoon
The average honeymoon price was £4,700. Favourite destinations were the 3 Ms: Mexico, Mauritius and the Maldives.
Planning
Finally, how did prospective pairs plan their 2014 weddings?
Clearly, they used a combination of resources. Websites furnished information for 90.5% of couples, magazines 83.5% and fairs or shows almost three quarters.
Summary
Evidently, people are becoming conscious of having more choice. They realise that the church and register office are not the only options. Along with venue selection, they can have a real say in how they celebrate their own big day. And that means the type of ceremony (for further thoughts on this, please see my blog “Personalised Weddings” ).
This freedom of choice has got to be a good thing! Use it!
