by Michael | Mar 31, 2017 | Blog
As a civil celebrant, I come across some wonderful professionals, and I’m extremely fortunate to have enlisted the help of Event Planners, Mish & Katy of KP Events, who have written a marvellous article about controlling your wedding costs. Something that affects us all! There’s so much useful information here that I’m dividing the piece up. That means you’ll have to come back next week!
Enjoy.
IS THE COST OF YOUR WEDDING SPIRALLING OUT OF CONTROL?
Here’s some advice on where and where not to compromise.
So we’re all agreed … low key, nothing fancy, just an intimate celebration with close family …
Until … “Darling, you know my Mum’s rellies in LA – that weird family with 6 kids … we can’t not invite them. I know they’re not close, but they are 1st cousins after all …” or …
“You know, it’s going to have to be proper über-kosher. I know we’re not into all that, but we just can’t make assumptions about all our guests.” or …
“I know it was stupid but I promised your niece she could have a frilly pink bridesmaid’s dress with ruby sequins … I just can’t let her down. I know, I know – it means we have to get all five of them matching dresses …”
Familiar? Of course it is – that’s just the way it always pans out!
But is there a way to prevent it? Is it actually possible to stop the whole thing from spiralling totally out of control and ending up with a bill of stratospheric proportions?
The answer is yes … to an extent. After many years in the business we might not be able to solve the extended overseas family issue but we’re confident we know where to compromise and where not – in order to ensure your event is everything and more without having to spend everything and more!
Here are 10 elements of your wedding spend in which savings can undoubtedly be made … Food, music (band or DJ) and photography are what we call The Untouchables. Great food and real musical entertainment are absolutely key to the day’s success, and fabulous images are what will provide the memories for years to come. There is no middle-ground here – you simply have to get these three aspects right, so cutting corners can prove disastrous. Despite that, even here you’ll find some room for manoeuvre.
Food
Food is (and should be) your biggest spend and you should be as generous as you possibly can with this element of your budget. Get it right and your guests are more than half-way to having a great time; get it wrong and you’ll be hard pushed to salvage the situation. There are, however, many ways of holding back the reins without skimping on quality and quantity.
If you don’t have to have supervised, but the majority of your guests are kosher, then a caterer using kosher ingredients is a cheaper and perfectly acceptable option. By eliminating kosher meat altogether and sticking to fish and vegetarian options, you can bring the menu cost down further, while a good caterer will still be able to produce an exciting and creative menu within those parameters. If you only have a handful of strict kosher guests, and a non-kosher majority, then you could just buy in supervised kosher meals for them, while opening up more options for the majority of guests. That would almost certainly prove cheaper than the fully kosher-catered option for the entire party.
The buffet vs sit-down comparison is always worth a visit, though a buffet may not always work out cheaper. Although the staffing costs are considerably less than silver service, the preparation is usually more labour intensive.
Do investigate the options however as there will usually be a price differential as well as a more fundamental difference in relation to the style and atmosphere of your event.
Music (band or DJ)
Unlike most other events that have “sideshow” entertainment, wedding entertainment is usually fully focussed on the music. As a consequence it needs to be good. Lacklustre function bands and DJs who manage to clear the dance floor are big no-nos. While live music always has the potential to really enhance the atmosphere of an event, it isn’t a cheap option. A top tried and tested band will often come with a top tried and tested price tag. You generally get what you pay for, but there are ways of cutting your cloth to suit.
A very effective compromise is what’s called the Live DJ – a set up in which you have a DJ accompanied by 2 or 3 instrumentalists – sax and percussion usually work well. Another option is to find a couple of great singers who can sing to track. That way you’re paying fees to 2 or 3 musicians rather than a full band which could amount of 8 or 9 people plus significant production costs.
Photographer
If you get the food and music right, you’ve ostensibly got an event. If you get the photographer right, you’ve got memories. If you get the partner right, you’ve got a marriage! While we can’t help you with the choice of partner, we can help with the rest. And a good photographer – who understands what you as a couple are all about – is critical. There’s a thing with wedding photos – you can’t re-take them if they’re bad !
Do your research on photographers as the price range can be enormous and don’t be tempted to buy into packages of services and products that you don’t necessarily need or want. Some will charge a lot in return for a beautiful gilt-edged coffee table book along with a DVD slideshow of your images set to schmaltzy music. If that’s what you want (perhaps as a gift for your future in-laws) then great, but if it’s not what you’re into, don’t get sucked in.
We work with several photographers, some of whom do provide the full ‘platinum service’, while others simply produce great reportage style imagery that they pass onto their clients simply edited but essentially raw, so you can do whatever you want in terms of printing. Nowadays there are plenty of internet-based photo printing companies that can produce quality prints at hugely competitive rates. The proviso of course is that the original images are professional high resolution files – so by all means take over the printing but don’t leave the actual photography to a friend even if he or she did win the Amateur Photographer of the Month competition back in May. As already mentioned, you need to be careful when tinkering with the above trio of “untouchables”. However, with the remaining elements of your budget there are plenty of ways of keeping things in check without begrudgingly having to accept an unwanted compromise option.
There will be more next time, as promised, but if you can’t wait, please conatct Mish or Kati on 020 8883 7411 www.kpevents.co.uk | www.facebook.com/kpeventslondon
by Michael | Mar 28, 2017 | Blog
As Spring seems really to have sprung (at least, round here), thoughts may well be turning to garden ceremonies. What a beautiful, atmospheric way to mark a special occasion!
Yes, there are many good reasons for holding your event in your back garden, but there are a few things you must take into account too. Let’s take a look at all this.
Advantages
The most obvious reason for a backyard ceremony is cost. If you’re not paying to hire a venue, you’re going to save a lot of money. Mind you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your event will come cheap …!
One of the loveliest things about a garden ceremony is the atmosphere. It can be light and informal. The surroundings will (hopefully!) be beautiful, and everybody should feel at ease. With less formality, there may be greater opportunity to mingle, both for guests and hosts.
If you’re using a civil celebrant, he should be able to add to the atmosphere by creating a bespoke ceremony for you.
The chances are – weather permitting – that garden ceremonies will turn out to be absolutely wonderful. But be aware that a lot of thought and work have to go into them to ensure success.
Have you thought of the following?
Things to consider
Bear in mind that the money you are saving by not hiring a venue covers expenditure you’re still going to have to make.
- You’ll have to work hard to make sure your garden is presentable on the day.
- You may also have to buy in (and lay out) flowers, decoration, audio-visual equipment.
- Is there a large enough dry, warm room, if the weather turns against you? Or have you got umbrellas, parasols, blankets, sufficient seats? Will there be cold drinks on tap, in case the weather is hot?
- Are you bearing health and safety in mind? No trailing cables and the like? Are you serving hot items – how will they be brought out?
- Do you have sufficient toilet facilities?
Remember that you will essentially become the event planner, and there are very good reasons why people often shell out to hire one!
If you save money by not hiring a caterer, and assuming you’re not a professional caterer yourself, you do have issues to consider. Choosing the menu, ordering the food and drink, crockery and cutlery, arranging transport and storage, serving, clearing away all need to be weighed up. A buffet is probably the simplest option, but will still require detailed planning. Somebody (or bodies) will need to be deputed to organise the drinks (not to mention the food) on the day.
You will need to think about parking arrangements. This is a good time to warn your neighbours what you are planning! If you’re not actually inviting them, do ask them politely not to mow their lawns or blast out loud music during your event!
While on the subject of noise, if you live on the flight path of a major airport, you may want to reconsider the whole thing!
Summary
It may look as though I am against the whole idea, as the ‘cons’ list apparently outnumbers the ‘pros’! However, although you are taking a risk, especially with the weather in our country, the rewards are so worthwhile. Some of the most successful events I have been part of took place in the open air. There’s something so special about it.
You do need a ‘Plan B’, and you have to plan carefully in advance and work hard on the day. However, if all goes to plan, absolutely nothing can beat garden ceremonies. Go for it!
by Michael | Mar 15, 2017 | Blog
Are you planning a wedding, vow renewal or any other celebrations? I have good news for you!
There’s more choice out there than you may suspect. In fact, the world (of celebrations) is your oyster.
Well, what’s it to be? Conventional, way-out or something in-between?
First impressions
When people meet me, they often think I’m quite sane! That’s because part of me actually is.
However, on further acquaintance, they come to realise that I have a zany side too.
This mixture works very well in a civil celebrant. I can supply almost everyone’s needs!
“Normal”
I often get asked to put together and perform pretty conventional ceremonies. After all, some people may want a full religious service, but are unable to have this through their church. That might be because they are marrying someone of another faith. Or it could be a divorced Catholic who wants to marry again.
Be that as it may, these ceremonies may be very like what you’d expect in a church or synagogue etc. They can contain traditional readings and rituals. The main difference is that the service is led by someone (me!) who is a lay reader (ie not ordained).
“Woo-woo”
One of the beauties about a celebrant-led ceremony is that you can choose to personalise it. It may include features from other cultures (the Apache wedding blessing is a favourite) and a few religious elements. It may contain spiritual readings and rituals.
You can hold it wherever you wish (within reason). That can make it really exciting. Maybe Stonehenge is your idea of a brilliant venue? It can be arranged. What about atop Ben Nevis?
If you want pagan (or even part-pagan!), you only have to ask.
The point is that you can construct the ceremony that YOU want, that matches your personalities and beliefs. And that seems just right for your big day.
Compromise
Sometimes people are faced with a dilemma. They may want a secular ceremony, for example, but feel that that could offend their parents or even guests. Fortunately, your celebrant can help you include elements of religion into a largely secular service, and you can – hopefully! – keep everybody happy.
A same-sex ceremony may not please everybody, unfortunately. A little compromise with the wording and structure may go a long way.
Preparing a ceremony that is bespoke and unique to you is utterly appealing. The result should be an event that is beautiful and unique and unforgettable, whether it is oddball or basically conventional, or something in-between.
And surely that’s what you’re looking for (and deserve) for your big day!
by Michael | Mar 7, 2017 | Blog
How do you keep everyone happy?!
I remember, from my days as a teacher, that, as soon as you had more than one child in the classroom, you had to accept the fact: you now had a mixed-ability class.
When faced with 30 pupils, say, do you aim at satisfying the needs of the cleverest ones, the weakest, or those in the middle? How can you please all of them even part of the time?
Such a dilemma is not unique to the classroom.
Let’s consider a wedding.
Religion
As soon as religion enters the mix, you are faced with questions. If it’s a wedding, should you opt for a full, religious service? Will that really be what the couple and their family want?
What about a secular or humanist service? No religion at all? You can bet that somebody is not going to like that.
You could go for a partly-religious ceremony. However, that runs the risk of not satisfying anybody at all (although it may depend how the service is constructed and presented).
Source: Philippa Gedge photography
Compromise
As with a lot of the wedding planning, give-and-take is necessary. You’ll probably be struggling over the invitations already, so you may well be getting proficient at compromising.
Parameters
Given that you are highly unlikely to be able to keep everybody sweet, should you aim for the majority; should you placate parents; should you go your own way?
The first option risks being a bit wishy-washy. A mixed-faith service has got to be compiled and presented very professionally for it to work.
As for parents, even if they are financing the whole event, they should understand that it is still the fiances’ big day. That should be the bottom line. There’s nothing wrong with the couple including a religious element or two by way of compromise, but the ceremony should not be High Church (or equivalent), if the couple don’t want it.
As a civil celebrant, I have experience of one parent (only the one) who steamrollered the whole wedding – to the extent, that she threatened to boycott the event (and take quite a number of her relatives with her), if her choice was not respected over the couple’s. It takes all sorts …
If you decide to go your own way on your big day, you should be able to do so with a clear conscience. But if it is possible to include something that may placate those of different convictions, then it would be a nice gesture to do so.
The Best of all Worlds
I recently conducted a handfasting for a lovely couple. That was what Karl wanted; Martina had wanted a church wedding. They decided they would compromise (an encouraging start for a lifetime together!).
After the traditional church service, everybody moved to a wonderful barn for the handfasting, which I was to lead. The ceremony was nature-based, and required a few explanations for most guests.
The handfasting
We charged the circle (or space) before asking Air, Fire, Water and Earth to bless the couple. We drew down God and Goddess before blessing the couple with divine qualities. The actual handfasting (knotting together the couple’s wrists) took place before the pair (in the Quaich, or loving cup ceremony) drank to their past, present and future happiness, before we concluded in a more traditional way.
To judge by the comments and atmosphere, the ceremony was really well-received and presumably didn’t offend anybody. Whether or not we managed to keep absolutely everybody happy, I can’t say, but I think we may have come close to achieving the impossible!
That’s the beauty of celebrant-led weddings: the couple have the choice to create their ideal ceremony. I think that’s wonderful.
by Michael | Feb 27, 2017 | Blog
This is my third and final review of luxury London venues for your wedding/vow renewal. I rather wish it wasn’t coming to an end – reviewing these establishments wasn’t much of a hardship, in truth!
[Please note that my disclaimers (from my previous articles) still apply.]
The Rosewood
The Rosewood in High Holborn could hardly be more central and convenient. The signage was so discreet that I wasn’t sure which of the doors led to the Reception!
However, once in, I was very impressed by the appearance. Only three years old, at the time of writing, the hotel looked well cared-for. It was spacious, elegant and classy (without being snooty).
I’d love to have included my photos, but something went amiss. At least, here’s one picture (from the website), and that will give you a feel for the place.
Source: rosewoodhotels.com Rosewood London
Service is very important, clearly, and anyone who books a wedding here will be well looked-after. The ballroom, which includes a PA system, can take 280 people, and its foyer around 240. There is also a “living room” (capacity c. 30) and dining room (c. 20). Both the latter could be ideal for a smaller event, such as a Vow Renewal.
The Rosewood have recommended suppliers and would organise whatever is required. But as quite a number of weddings here are Jewish, outside kosher catering is brought in. You can arrange most other suppliers yourself – florists, for example.
Stylish and professional, the Rosewood will not be cheap, but you will surely get what you pay for here.
The Lanesborough
The Hotel is in a remarkable location. It is situated on Hyde Park Corner (literally), in a beautifully restored 18th century building that was once a hospital (now St George’s, Tooting).
It is flexible, as far as meeting the needs of its clients is concerned, and has a variety of rooms suitable for weddings or vow renewals of differing sizes.
I believe the hotel’s reputation speaks for itself – the decor is glorious and I appreciated the friendly attentiveness of the staff, who clearly aim at keeping the customer happy. They are only too pleased to help.
The Goring
Perhaps surprisingly for Central London, The Goring is still a family-run hotel (and has been for over a century). It has been much frequented by royalty, so the decor is opulent and the service discreet, but thoroughly attentive. The Goring is the only hotel in the world to be granted a Royal Warrant by HM The Queen for Hospitality Services.
There are two rooms suitable for holding a ceremony and reception: The Drawing Room and The Garden Room. They are both intimate and intensely tasteful. The Garden Room has its own private sunken terrace, which leads to the unexpectedly large and attractive private garden, with its own private terrace, which is a lovely feature.
The Drawing Room at Night
The hotel, full of lovely chandeliers and tasteful decor, oozes class, yet does so without pretension. For enquiries, please email privatedining@thegoring.com
The Garden Room at the Goring
