by Michael | Apr 25, 2017 | Blog
Have you ever seen wedding bloopers with your own eyes?
If you haven’t, don’t go thinking that things never go wrong at major events!
Don’t they – heck?!
If you haven’t seen any wedding bloopers for yourself, then you must have watched footage on YouTube or Harry Hill’s “You’ve Been Framed”. Grooms faint, children or dogs steal the show, the minister stuffs up, arguments break out, someone missed their cue critically … Of course, these tend to be extreme examples, but they do indeed happen.
However well-organised you are or how efficient the wedding planner may be (if you have one), there is a huge potential for things to go awry. Logistics are really not easy, especially if there are large numbers of guests involved.
Certain elements are particularly difficult to arrange, like the catering and serving, but misfortune can fly in from the least expected directions.
Who’d expect the bride’s father to get paralytically drunk? Who’d have expected that cloudburst that marooned some of the guests? What about the reverend who fell ill and couldn’t conduct the ceremony? Or the family member who made a scene because she disapproved of where she had been placed for the reception? How anticipate the ex who turned up uninvited and unannounced?
As a civil celebrant, I have obviously been part of many a ceremony, (although I don’t usually stay for the reception, so there may have been quite a few disasters that I have missed!). I have only personally experienced three occasions when things did not go at all as planned, so I guess I’m quite lucky.
Conflict of Interest
I arrived an hour early for an open-air wedding blessing in Enfield one Friday evening in August. The guests had arrived, the sun was shining, and all were looking forward to the 5 p.m. start. All? Well, not the Best Man.
It turned out that he had had to go to a job interview. It had gone on longer than expected and so he got stuck in rush hour traffic on the M25. We couldn’t start without him, so we had to wait until about 6.30.
Five minutes into the ceremony, after bride, groom and I been buzzed by a persistent wasp, the heavens opened … Oh, well ….
Too Much Responsibility
Joseph, the groom, had two jobs for the day, really. One was to get himself to the venue on time, and the other was to remember the rings. As his hotel was local to the venue, he could hardly fail to arrive in good time. And this proved to be the case. When I jokingly asked him if he had remembered the rings, the colour drained from his face … Oh, no! Hotfoot he went, back to his hotel!
Fashionably Late
Finally, I was standing with the groom, Jan, at the front, as we waited for the bride. It was very hot. We were all poised, in good time, expecting the bride. Time passed, and no sign of Carys. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes elapsed. No word. People tried to contact her, but without success.
Jan, understandably, was getting nervous, if not positively concerned. I asked him if he wanted a glass of water, and he gratefully acceded. Leaving him, I went to the back of the hall and poured him out a glass. That was the precise moment that Carys chose to appear. Off she went, marching up the aisle, with yours truly in exactly the wrong place!
A slick shimmy round the side, and I was up at the front before Carys reached us, but it wasn’t a comfortable moment!
Things don’t always go the way you plan!
Next time you attend a ceremony, don’t be too hard on those involved in doing the organising! It’s not easy to put together all the strands that go to make up an event. Things do go wrong. What matters is how they are sorted out.
by Michael | Apr 18, 2017 | Blog
The time may come when you want to commemorate a big event in your life (or in that of someone close to you). You will probably be marking a milestone birthday or anniversary, wedding, naming, or even a funeral. It’s going to be very important to you that the event is conducted appropriately. In fact, it’s got to be perfect.
And why wouldn’t it be?
Obstacles
Here’s why. Any one of these reasons (plus others) may get in the way:
- Somebody insists that everything is done their way only
- Money concerns
- Differences of opinions about the amount of religious elements to be included
- The relevant people can’t agree on the size of the gathering
- Or the venue
- Or what rituals, if any, are to be included
- Or who participates in the ceremony
- The date
And so it goes on!
Solutions
In most cases, give and take may be necessary.
If you feel somebody is trying to hi-jack the arrangements, try and have a talk with them. Explain that others are involved too and would like to participate as well. You’re grateful for what they are doing, but it would be appreciated if the load were shared around a bit. Not everyone will listen to reason, I know, but many people will (if approached the right way).
If money is the issue, there are ways round it. These can range from a reduced guest list or choosing a different venue to arranging your function out of season and, even, in the morning or early afternoon. You may also be able to use your bargaining powers to knock suppliers’ prices down a bit.
If religion is causing problems, you might be able to suggest a secular ceremony with various religious elements included. This could keep everybody reasonably happy.
As for the rituals (if any) and involvement of family and/or friends, you will need someone to co-ordinate the ceremony. This is where a civil celebrant can come in.
Help is at Hand
Your civil celebrant will work together with you by offering ideas and guidance. He can suggest options and, if you explain where you need help, will be delighted to point a way forward.
Although he may not be ordained, he will be able to offer the religious elements, if that’s what you want. He will be happy to include whoever you want to be involved, and offer you some wonderful and apt readings.
Every word of the ceremony that you eventually put together will be agreed by you. There’ll be no unpleasant surprises on the day!
It may take a little ability to compromise, but that end goal of a perfect ceremony will still be accessible. It will be so worth the effort!
by Michael | Apr 10, 2017 | Blog
Last time, Mish from KP Events in our guest post, gave us some welcome advice about controlling wedding costs – especially food, drink, DJs and photographers. Here are other areas where you can save without compromising quality.
Drinks
Alcohol need not be such a big factor at a wedding – often one half of every couple will be driving anyway. Despite that, it’s easy to get carried away and run up a heavy drinks bill if you’re not careful.
The most obvious saving comes from serving sparkling instead of Champagne. There are plenty of terrific Proseccos and Cavas out there that tend to go down a treat and it’s always fun researching which one to go for before the big day.
Keeping spirits out of the equation is another sensible option. People generally won’t miss them, and if you happen to know that your uncle Alfred has a penchant for Scotch, and you don’t want him going home disappointed, you can always leave a sneaky bottle behind the bar.
You could consider paying for reception and dinner drinks and then having a pay bar after dinner – you may not like the idea but it is a customary and understandable option.
Lastly, during the meal, bottles on the table work well in that people generally only pour what they can drink, whereas if you have staff pouring, we find that people accept the top-up offer even if they’re not likely to continue drinking. As a result a lot does go to waste at the end of the evening.
Invitations
As nice as fancy invites may be, environmental concerns have made it perfectly acceptable to invite by email. You can still design something that’s creative and personalise each invite, but then simply email it rather than post it. Let’s face it – the invite’s not going to make or break the day.
Flowers
You can spend a fortune on flowers. If using a florist, make sure you find out which flowers are in season as they will be considerably cheaper than those that are imported.
You can of course do the flowers yourself or give the task to a creative friend who will feel flattered to have been given the responsibility.
Old jam jars make great vases and stores like IKEA have all sorts of interesting bottle shaped containers, so if you’re prepared to do the table centre arrangements, you’ll be dramatically cutting your floral costs. You can even find prepared arrangements off the shelf at places like M&S.
As a half-way option you might consider using a florist to do the button holes and bouquets but doing the table centres yourself as those are relatively easy.
Depending on the logistics of your day, you may even be able to re-use the flowers from your ceremony on the top table.
Remember – as beautiful as flowers can be, they’re ancillary rather than integral to the event.
Cake
Like flowers, wedding cakes can also eat their way into a surprisingly large chunk of your budget. And more often than not, with a cheese course and dessert already dealt with, no-one has any room for cake. It therefore becomes an extremely expensive photo-prop for the cutting ceremony.
If you’re going to have a cheese board anyway, then why not have a tiered cheese board in the shape of a cake and kill two birds with one stone. Equally you could lose the cheese altogether and have the cake as the principal dessert – maybe with some fruit on the side.
Another attractive and really popular option at the moment is to replace the cake with personalised cup-cakes on a large tiered stand.
Cars
Multiple cars for the whole bridal party is, in our opinion, an unnecessary expense. If it has always been part of the princess dream, fair enough, get one for the bride and get friends with nice or interesting cars to do the rest – again they’ll be flattered to have been asked. And if you really do have guests who are going to be blown away by seeing a ’54 Bentley R-Type, then buy them a ticket to the Goodwood Festival of Speed – it’ll be much cheaper.
Décor
Lighting is by far the most effective way of ‘decorating’ a room. It can change a seemingly ordinary space into something spectacular and is versatile enough to create different moods as the event moves through its transitions from reception to meal to dancing to wind-down. Pound for pound, money spent on lighting is usually very good value.
If you are theming your party, customised props are generally expensive. There’s a lot however that you can do with table numbers, seating plans and place cards – all for £50 and a bit of creativity.
Equally, candles, lanterns, fairy lights and bunting are relatively cheap accessories that (if used appropriately) can really add that extra something.
You don’t have to have a colour scheme ‘per se’ but do ensure you have an element of colour consistency across the venue – something that can be achieved simply through lighting, linen, flowers, bunting, etc. Even food and drink can be tied into a colour scheme but now we’re adding to costs rather than reducing them!
Not forgotten …
There are two aspects we’ve not touched on in this article – civil celebrants and venue choice.
In regard to civil celebrants, the fact that you’re reading this on Michael’s blog would suggest that you’ve already found your way to the very best and clearly need no more guidance on the subject!
In regard to venue choice, many couples are often quite clear about where they want to hold their wedding and only need help with all the rest.
That said, matching up our clients with their dream venue is something that we love doing at KP Events and we have extensive knowledge of all kinds of potential locations – many of which are off the beaten track while each offering something quite unique. And a lot of them don’t cost quite as much as one might think …
To find out more – or indeed for help with any aspect of your big day – please do give us a call.
Conatct Mish or Kati on 020 8883 7411
www.kpevents.co.uk | www.facebook.com/kpeventslondon
by Michael | Mar 31, 2017 | Blog
As a civil celebrant, I come across some wonderful professionals, and I’m extremely fortunate to have enlisted the help of Event Planners, Mish & Katy of KP Events, who have written a marvellous article about controlling your wedding costs. Something that affects us all! There’s so much useful information here that I’m dividing the piece up. That means you’ll have to come back next week!
Enjoy.
IS THE COST OF YOUR WEDDING SPIRALLING OUT OF CONTROL?
Here’s some advice on where and where not to compromise.
So we’re all agreed … low key, nothing fancy, just an intimate celebration with close family …
Until … “Darling, you know my Mum’s rellies in LA – that weird family with 6 kids … we can’t not invite them. I know they’re not close, but they are 1st cousins after all …” or …
“You know, it’s going to have to be proper über-kosher. I know we’re not into all that, but we just can’t make assumptions about all our guests.” or …
“I know it was stupid but I promised your niece she could have a frilly pink bridesmaid’s dress with ruby sequins … I just can’t let her down. I know, I know – it means we have to get all five of them matching dresses …”
Familiar? Of course it is – that’s just the way it always pans out!
But is there a way to prevent it? Is it actually possible to stop the whole thing from spiralling totally out of control and ending up with a bill of stratospheric proportions?
The answer is yes … to an extent. After many years in the business we might not be able to solve the extended overseas family issue but we’re confident we know where to compromise and where not – in order to ensure your event is everything and more without having to spend everything and more!
Here are 10 elements of your wedding spend in which savings can undoubtedly be made … Food, music (band or DJ) and photography are what we call The Untouchables. Great food and real musical entertainment are absolutely key to the day’s success, and fabulous images are what will provide the memories for years to come. There is no middle-ground here – you simply have to get these three aspects right, so cutting corners can prove disastrous. Despite that, even here you’ll find some room for manoeuvre.
Food
Food is (and should be) your biggest spend and you should be as generous as you possibly can with this element of your budget. Get it right and your guests are more than half-way to having a great time; get it wrong and you’ll be hard pushed to salvage the situation. There are, however, many ways of holding back the reins without skimping on quality and quantity.
If you don’t have to have supervised, but the majority of your guests are kosher, then a caterer using kosher ingredients is a cheaper and perfectly acceptable option. By eliminating kosher meat altogether and sticking to fish and vegetarian options, you can bring the menu cost down further, while a good caterer will still be able to produce an exciting and creative menu within those parameters. If you only have a handful of strict kosher guests, and a non-kosher majority, then you could just buy in supervised kosher meals for them, while opening up more options for the majority of guests. That would almost certainly prove cheaper than the fully kosher-catered option for the entire party.
The buffet vs sit-down comparison is always worth a visit, though a buffet may not always work out cheaper. Although the staffing costs are considerably less than silver service, the preparation is usually more labour intensive.
Do investigate the options however as there will usually be a price differential as well as a more fundamental difference in relation to the style and atmosphere of your event.
Music (band or DJ)
Unlike most other events that have “sideshow” entertainment, wedding entertainment is usually fully focussed on the music. As a consequence it needs to be good. Lacklustre function bands and DJs who manage to clear the dance floor are big no-nos. While live music always has the potential to really enhance the atmosphere of an event, it isn’t a cheap option. A top tried and tested band will often come with a top tried and tested price tag. You generally get what you pay for, but there are ways of cutting your cloth to suit.
A very effective compromise is what’s called the Live DJ – a set up in which you have a DJ accompanied by 2 or 3 instrumentalists – sax and percussion usually work well. Another option is to find a couple of great singers who can sing to track. That way you’re paying fees to 2 or 3 musicians rather than a full band which could amount of 8 or 9 people plus significant production costs.
Photographer
If you get the food and music right, you’ve ostensibly got an event. If you get the photographer right, you’ve got memories. If you get the partner right, you’ve got a marriage! While we can’t help you with the choice of partner, we can help with the rest. And a good photographer – who understands what you as a couple are all about – is critical. There’s a thing with wedding photos – you can’t re-take them if they’re bad !
Do your research on photographers as the price range can be enormous and don’t be tempted to buy into packages of services and products that you don’t necessarily need or want. Some will charge a lot in return for a beautiful gilt-edged coffee table book along with a DVD slideshow of your images set to schmaltzy music. If that’s what you want (perhaps as a gift for your future in-laws) then great, but if it’s not what you’re into, don’t get sucked in.
We work with several photographers, some of whom do provide the full ‘platinum service’, while others simply produce great reportage style imagery that they pass onto their clients simply edited but essentially raw, so you can do whatever you want in terms of printing. Nowadays there are plenty of internet-based photo printing companies that can produce quality prints at hugely competitive rates. The proviso of course is that the original images are professional high resolution files – so by all means take over the printing but don’t leave the actual photography to a friend even if he or she did win the Amateur Photographer of the Month competition back in May. As already mentioned, you need to be careful when tinkering with the above trio of “untouchables”. However, with the remaining elements of your budget there are plenty of ways of keeping things in check without begrudgingly having to accept an unwanted compromise option.
There will be more next time, as promised, but if you can’t wait, please conatct Mish or Kati on 020 8883 7411 www.kpevents.co.uk | www.facebook.com/kpeventslondon
by Michael | Mar 28, 2017 | Blog
As Spring seems really to have sprung (at least, round here), thoughts may well be turning to garden ceremonies. What a beautiful, atmospheric way to mark a special occasion!
Yes, there are many good reasons for holding your event in your back garden, but there are a few things you must take into account too. Let’s take a look at all this.
Advantages
The most obvious reason for a backyard ceremony is cost. If you’re not paying to hire a venue, you’re going to save a lot of money. Mind you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your event will come cheap …!
One of the loveliest things about a garden ceremony is the atmosphere. It can be light and informal. The surroundings will (hopefully!) be beautiful, and everybody should feel at ease. With less formality, there may be greater opportunity to mingle, both for guests and hosts.
If you’re using a civil celebrant, he should be able to add to the atmosphere by creating a bespoke ceremony for you.
The chances are – weather permitting – that garden ceremonies will turn out to be absolutely wonderful. But be aware that a lot of thought and work have to go into them to ensure success.
Have you thought of the following?
Things to consider
Bear in mind that the money you are saving by not hiring a venue covers expenditure you’re still going to have to make.
- You’ll have to work hard to make sure your garden is presentable on the day.
- You may also have to buy in (and lay out) flowers, decoration, audio-visual equipment.
- Is there a large enough dry, warm room, if the weather turns against you? Or have you got umbrellas, parasols, blankets, sufficient seats? Will there be cold drinks on tap, in case the weather is hot?
- Are you bearing health and safety in mind? No trailing cables and the like? Are you serving hot items – how will they be brought out?
- Do you have sufficient toilet facilities?
Remember that you will essentially become the event planner, and there are very good reasons why people often shell out to hire one!
If you save money by not hiring a caterer, and assuming you’re not a professional caterer yourself, you do have issues to consider. Choosing the menu, ordering the food and drink, crockery and cutlery, arranging transport and storage, serving, clearing away all need to be weighed up. A buffet is probably the simplest option, but will still require detailed planning. Somebody (or bodies) will need to be deputed to organise the drinks (not to mention the food) on the day.
You will need to think about parking arrangements. This is a good time to warn your neighbours what you are planning! If you’re not actually inviting them, do ask them politely not to mow their lawns or blast out loud music during your event!
While on the subject of noise, if you live on the flight path of a major airport, you may want to reconsider the whole thing!
Summary
It may look as though I am against the whole idea, as the ‘cons’ list apparently outnumbers the ‘pros’! However, although you are taking a risk, especially with the weather in our country, the rewards are so worthwhile. Some of the most successful events I have been part of took place in the open air. There’s something so special about it.
You do need a ‘Plan B’, and you have to plan carefully in advance and work hard on the day. However, if all goes to plan, absolutely nothing can beat garden ceremonies. Go for it!
