by Michael | May 19, 2020 | Blog
Most of us have enough to worry us during lockdown. I don’t think I have to explain that statement.
But when else might we experience worry?
Many people do worry a lot before a public occasion such as their wedding. These worries encompass things they can’t alter (like the weather) and things they can (such as preparing thoroughly for the event).
Let’s look at a few concerns and see if we can minimise them.
Weather
England is noted for unpredictable weather. What if it’s too wet? Too sunny?
If it’s an outdoor event, you may be able to switch to somewhere sheltered. You may be able to provide parasols/umbrellas, cold/hot drinks. Or you face the reality with cheerful stoicism. Nobody will be blaming you, so make the most of a potentially bad job.
The Spotlight
It is very common to hate the limelight. What if you trip in the aisle? What if you cry? What if you don’t like being photographed? And what if you have to speak during the ceremony?
The chances of tripping can be reduced, if you practise wearing your wedding shoes (at home) before the ceremony.
Crying is perfectly reasonable during such an emotional occasion. Go for it! (Wear waterproof mascara, and your bridesmaids can be supplied with an emergency make-up kit for you.)
Hopefully, you will have chosen a photographer you feel happy with. You can suggest a pre-wedding shoot, though, so you’ll feel easier and more relaxed in front of the camera later.
If you have to speak (beyond “I do”!) during the ceremony, make sure you speak slowly and clearly. At the very least, speak so that your partner and the celebrant can hear you, but if you can project a bit further, the guests will appreciate it. Microphones solve this, but you have to cope with reading from a crib sheet, if you use one, and, possibly, holding the microphone, if it’s not on a stand.
Things Going Wrong
Of course, there may be moments when things don’t go quite to plan. Firstly, people may not notice (or choose to ignore) these. Secondly, they are rarely as significant as they may seem. Thirdly, you can avoid most with good preparation. Use trusted professionals (from wedding planner to civil celebrant to toastmaster) for best results.
So, rest assured: things will not be as bad as you fear, especially if you use a team of reliable professionals. Just enjoy (especially the day itself) and let others take the strain.
by Michael | May 6, 2020 | Blog
It’s not that easy to come up with a useful or informative blog every week. Even less so under Lockdown. Hardly anything is happening in the world of weddings. Still less in the world of Vow Renewals and Namings. But so much seems to be happening in the world of funerals that it’s impossible to keep up!
So, rather than tell you what you already know or something that is already out of date, here is a bit about me and how I found myself in the world of celebrancy.
Background
I came from a lower middle-class Ealing home, and was pretty conventional till my mid 40s. To summarise incisively, I was a teacher for 25 years, but was to lose my mojo. In fact, I definitely experienced a mid-life crisis, and went through a pretty unpleasant couple of years.
However, unexpectedly, this became a time for personal development. I went into network marketing (health and wellness). I loved the products and that I could help others in quite surprising ways, but the money wasn’t to be earned there (to prosper you need to build teams, and I wasn’t great at that). So I lost a lot of money – yet I have never completely stopped this work.
On the other hand, network marketing demands personal study and growth. I read self-help books, attended workshops and even took on a coach. I began to change, quite without realising it.
When the opportunity for something quite different arose three or so years later, I was ready for it (at least, subconsciously).
The Damascene moment
I met a civil celebrant at a business networking meeting. Having never heard of such a job, I asked him what it entailed. His enthusiasm was infectious, and I was almost hooked. I rang him soon afterwards with a few questions – one of which was “how do I train?” Decision made.
So I trained. I plunged into a profession that I might have dismissed earlier. After all, as far as I had been concerned, a wedding was either a full religious or a secular Register Office ceremony. Surely people shouldn’t be encouraged to choose how their big day should be marked?!
I had been used (by and large) to teaching and presenting. That was largely a one-way process (the way I did it!). My new profession would encourage me to go beneath the surface. I had to help people make their own (informed) choices. It would involve listening to people and understanding their vision by asking the right questions. I would have to guide and advise them, working together with them to achieve their dream. The icing on the cake would be attending beautiful venues to conduct a wonderful ceremony and sharing in their delight.
Seven years down the line, I am still in love with my profession. As I have worked at my delivery, business results have become better – but that was until Coronavirus. Now crystal-ball-gazing is impossible and I may have to rebuild my business from the bottom up.
However, I am optimistic. The work will be out there – after all, why shouldn’t people mark their big day as they would wish? I intend to continue to be available and to deliver an excellent service.
I shall be delighted to deliver dreams as before.
by Michael | Apr 27, 2020 | Blog
More of a newsletter than a blog this week, but I thought I’d update you with what’s happening in the world of life-cycle ceremonies under Coronavirus. It’ll probably all be out of date by next week!
Celebratory
Very little to report here, I’m afraid. Some people are going for Zoom weddings, or the like. That way, depending on the package you have, you can include up to 100 “guests”, so it’s a viable alternative.
Most of my couples have deferred their booking till the autumn (although who knows if that is far enough on?!).
I am still receiving enquiries, but far fewer than I’d normally expect at this time.
Funerals
There is still inconsistency all over the sector. Some cemeteries are re-opening for visits. My local crematorium is talking about re-opening for ceremonies, but has offered no date. Another crematorium I work with (which continues to offer ceremonies) has just announced that the maximum number of mourners allowed is increasing from 10 to 15. Some crematoria offer web-cam or streamed services, so at least other mourners have a chance to be included somehow.
The bottom line is that nobody really seems to know what is happening!
Alternatives
Many people are not satisfied with direct cremation or services with limited attendees. They are planning for the end of lock-down (whenever that may be) and considering any of Celebration of Life ceremonies, Memorial Services or Scattering of Ashes.
On the whole, you can hold these wherever you choose, and, if you’re organising a spread, you can probably have that in the same place as the ceremony.
I would be happy to discuss these possibilities, if I can be of help.
by Michael | Apr 14, 2020 | Blog
Well, there’s no knowing (at the time of writing) whether things are going to change in the near future. Meanwhile, we are all locked in, trying to make the best of our peculiar situation.
Free time
Personally, I have been viewing the small screen more than normal (only a bit – honest!), although I have also been networking courtesy of Zoom. I have kept my brain sharp (!) with a few more puzzles. A pleasant side-effect has been communication with people with whom we aren’t in regular contact.
I have even tried out Qi Gong, which I enjoyed and may well pursue, once normality returns. I have benefitted from a south-facing garden and expect to have acquired some Vitamin D! I have not neglected online exercise, but am yearning to get back to the swimming pool, once it’s permissible again. Uniquely, I have just been giving the house a spring clean! I can’t say that this has been a pleasure, but the results are quite satisfying! Even if they only last for a day or so!
Work
My main activity has been professional, though. As a celebrant, I am lucky to have had intellectual stimulus, some sort of interactions – albeit at a distance – and even some income. Of course, the weddings have dried up (or been postponed), but I still have some funerals. I say “still” because my local crematorium (where I normally conduct my funerals) now performs exclusively direct cremations. In other words, no ceremony (or even mourners). So I’m working at a couple of crematoria further afield, where they are still allowing ceremonies (up to 10 people), but am less likely to be as busy. We’ll see.
Interesting that there is no consistency between crematoria.
Anyway, I am still alive, and sincerely wish anybody who reads this to stay well and safe.
by Michael | Mar 30, 2020 | Blog
It’s difficult to keep smiling in such times, but it’s certainly better to hang in there, rather than to despair. Despair isn’t going to profit anybody.
At least, we must be there for others (as so many of them are there for us).
I’m far from unique in that my income has shrivelled and is likely to get worse before it gets better. I’m self-employed, of course, and the government – at the time of writing – has not worked out how to help people like myself. It’s all rather alarming.
So I’m trying to keep going and preparing for coming out the other side.
There are still a few ceremonies on my lists. Weddings have (obviously) been re-arranged to the Autumn, so I’m looking forward to those, but there are no new bookings (understandably).
I’ve got three funerals booked this week. With a maximum of ten mourners allowed, it is somewhat unsatisfactory, but, at least, some closure can be offered to families.
My local crematorium is allowing such ceremonies to continue until 9th April. Then it will be up to families to organise a direct cremation (ie with no ceremony or attendees at all present). Eventually, there could be the option of arranging a celebration of life service when things are a lot calmer.
I have some experience of compiling and conducting memorial services, and would be glad to help families put one together.
I’d be happy to have a non-obligation chat with anyone who is baffled and bemused, and perhaps I can help them see straight in these bewildering times.
