by Michael | Jan 16, 2023 | Blog
Cheap Weddings are not common.
I think you already knew that, didn’t you?
But they don’t have to be that expensive. There are ways of cutting corners without skimping on quality.
Obviously, not everyone’s budget or wishes are the same. I’m therefore going to concentrate on just a few common areas (venue, florist, dressmaker, photographer, celebrant) and suggest where savings might be made.
Incidentally, I’m not knocking any of my professional colleagues. I know in my own line the work, training, skill and experience that lie behind an immaculate ceremony. The same professionalism is part of every decent wedding supplier. That doesn’t mean that you can’t save money by doing it yourself. However, you may save less than you think, and it certainly doesn’t save on stress!
Venue
I discuss in other blogs how to choose your venue. It is really important that you go with one that you love (and which ticks all the boxes with its Ts & Cs). You may need to book a year or more in advance to secure it.
You are more likely to hire that dream venue – and pay less – if you choose a date that is out of season. Special days (like New Year’s Day or Valentine’s Day) are likely to be in high demand and therefore cost more.
Moreover, if you have your wedding in the morning and cater for lunch, you may well see reductions in the fees charged both by the venue and by the caterer.
Finally, if you don’t require exclusivity (ie booking the whole venue), things can work out a fair bit cheaper. It may be logistically relatively simple to use the same room for ceremony and reception – or just two rooms.
Florist
It’s tempting to choose flowers whose colours fit in with your theme. If they are not in season, they have to be brought in, and this can add quite a bit to the expense. Moreover, local flowers can be marvellous without costing the earth.
Dressmaker
It almost goes without saying that the bride wants to buy a splendid dress. Where there’s demand, prices tend to be raised. So this is a major expense.
If you can tolerate the thought, investigate hiring dresses or even buying a second-hand one.
There are potentially a lot of savings to be made here.
Photographer
There is no simple one-size-fits-all here. You may need to take advice as to how many photographers to hire and for how long. But, again, prices may be reduced if you marry out of season.
i advise that you do book a photographer (at least). Of course, a friend can probably do it, but will they do such a (professional) job? Will the quality of their apparatus be as good? What if they make a (potentially disastrous) mistake?
Do your research, but don’t cut corners on the photographer(s).
Celebrant
Having a person you like and trust up there conducting the ceremony with you at such an important occasion is essential. You shouldn’t cut corners with your celebrant either. Prices will vary, but you’re paying for the time and expertise they can give, the work they put in and their ability to deliver on the day.
Some celebrants may offer discounts (eg for a booking resulting from a wedding fayre or a special offer), but your choice should depend on how much you want to work with the particular celebrant.
This can make all the difference.
Conclusion
I hope this gets you thinking about how you may save money. You may be pleasantly surprised!
I’d be happy to chat with you about any subject raised in this blog.
by Michael | Dec 19, 2022 | Blog
This is going to be my last blog this year (I allow myself time off for good behaviour between Christmas and New Year!).
As is traditional, I intend to briefly look back on the past year before signing off for 2022.
The Bad
Apart from the expected coughs and colds, healthwise the year has been dominated by quite a lot of hospital visits and checks for me. The main issue has been with an enlarged prostate. This was announced rather suddenly and certainly abruptly when I found myself totally unable to pee. I alarmingly gained a couple of kilos in a matter of hours and swelled up visibly. I became extremely uncomfortable. Fortunately, A & E at Northwick Park were excellent, and basically saved my life.
After unpleasant experiences with catheters, which I won’t go into, I was able to have an operation. The paperwork was inefficient and inaccurate, but the care from the nurses was impeccable. Although the operation gave me my waterworks back, I don’t have quite the freedom that I used to have. However, this is a small price to pay, and I am very grateful to be able to function (to all intents and purposes) normally.
As I write this, I am due for a pre-assessment for cataract surgery in a few days, so all the medical stuff hasn’t quite ended. However, such procedures are nowadays considered routine, so I am grateful it is nothing worse.
Ah, but what it is to grow old! However, I do not feel old, so that is something to be very grateful for.
The other disappointment about 2022 is that I have only had a handful of weddings to conduct and no Vow Renewals. It is true that my attention has been somewhat off the ball due to my various health issues, so this has proved almost a blessing in disguise. However, I am hopeful that 2023 will be more productive on the celebration front.
The Good
Although COVID made us lose out on tickets we had bought for a Lisbon holiday (this is under the heading “Good”?!), we tried out something else. We did manage a flight, so we felt we had gone abroad. This was to Jersey in June, and we had perfect weather for our 4-night stay. It was a real delight, as was our other 4-night trip away.
This second trip (in August) had similar weather. We went to Bath (mainly to see Rob Brydon’s excellent show) and continued to Cardiff. Although a bit of a building-site, Cardiff was worth a visit – especially the castle, and we took a day trip out to the Brecon Beacons, which were in no way a disappointment. Far from it.
On the work front, in my ten years of being a celebrant, this was the second-best year for funerals for me. I am not trying to be ghoulish, but people are always going to die, and somebody has to conduct the funeral. I am willing to be that person.
On a brighter note (and I think we need one!), I conducted my first ever elopement (pictured) The couple came over from the States for the occasion. We had a lovely day for it and the venue (a ruined medieval church) was atmospheric. They were clearly very much in love and it was a delight as well as a privilege to have been invited to participate.
I gather they have a baby on the way!
Last Words for the Year
I do hope the past year has not been too trying for you (whether healthwise or energy-wise or financially etc.) and that you can enjoy the festive period with people that you love. Thank you for reading my blog(s) and I wish you all the very best – health, prosperity, happiness – for the New Year.
by Michael | Dec 12, 2022 | Blog
Looking back on one of my posts from about a year ago (“Expectations”), I see how accurately I foresaw that this year would go. I advised ignoring fear and pessimism, and encouraged booking those weddings, vow renewals, namings, handfastings, and the like.
In the event, we had no more lockdowns or sudden changes of law, and all has gone pretty smoothly.
Before I claim to be an infallible soothsayer, I have to admit that I didn’t hit the mark with every prediction the previous year! So feel free to take my words with a pinch of the proverbial!
However, encouraged by my recent success, I do suggest the following.
Definitely, go for it. If you want to mark an occasion in a special way. Don’t hold back. Although we don’t know – of course! – what lies round the next corner, there’s no point hesitating from fear or apprehension. As I write, there’s no major threat hanging over us. So, why defer?
If you have the excuse to celebrate, then do so! We haven’t had a lot of joy in the last few years, so let’s make up for it!
Another bonus lies on the horizon. Mind you, this is speculation at present …
You may know that Parliament is currently debating amendments to the marriage laws. What these might mean is that independent celebrants (yes, such as me!) might be able to conduct legally-binding marriages. A decision is unlikely to be reached before July, and then the celebrant will have to be trained and vetted, so it may not happen in 2023. And it’s no forgone conclusion. However, it’s something that can be looked forward to (I just hope it gets passed).
If it happens, it will make the whole registering process so much simpler. You’ll be able to ask me (for example!) to conduct the ceremony of your dreams and also do the legal bits at one and the same time. That may also work out cheaper, but it will certainly be more convenient. Well, let’s see how that pans out.
I predict that it will happen – let’s see if I’m right again!
Photo by Susanna Marsiglia on Unsplash
by Michael | Dec 5, 2022 | Blog
There’s a lot of confusion about what a civil celebrant offers and, indeed, why you should use one. I’d like to clear things up now.
This does add to the mix, but we are awaiting a possible change in the law, due to be promulgated in July 2023. This could allow civil celebrants to conduct weddings that would be legally recognised. But for the moment we have to wait and see, so I shall proceed using the facts currently in place.
A lot of people mistake a civil celebrant for a registrar. Currently, couples have to be married by the registrars (or in certain religious venues such as C of E churches). This can be in the Register Office (with two witnesses) or at a licensed venue (but rules have changed somewhat for these recently).
The registrars are civil servants who are not necessarily trained in presenting professionally. They often conduct a standardised service that lasts around a quarter of an hour. It is purely secular (God – or even religious motifs – may not be mentioned).
You may wonder why it’s worth having a celebrant-led ceremony too, if you have to have a registrar-led one (even if the latter may not be very special).
The big advantage for many couples is that they want their wedding to be the biggest day of their lives. They may have a vision for the ceremony that the registrars simply cannot offer. A civil celebrant is independent and can therefore fulfil most needs. So you can have the ceremony of your dreams (in the place of your dreams).
The celebrant can provide religious elements (or none). You can include rituals that you want and involve the participants that you want. You may choose to mention “absent friends”. Do you want to write and recite your own vows? Not an issue. You can personalise the ceremony with your story (how you met, for example). The tone can be flexible (a mix of solemnity and humour, for example).
The point is that, with a civil celebrant, you can be sure of having a unique, personalised ceremony on your special day.
Michael would be glad to have a (non-obligation) call with you to discuss how he can help realise your vision.
Photo: Matt Penberthy
by Michael | Nov 29, 2022 | Blog
Dealing with wedding suppliers is often a new experience for couples. How do you know whether the service you’re asking about is a necessity or a luxury? What questions should you be asking? How much should you expect to be paying? How do you know that the suppliers are going to be reliable?
Starting out
If you know somebody who has used a particular supplier, then pick their brains. (The fact that they may have liked the supplier does not necessarily mean that they would fit the bill for you, of course. However, it’s a good stepping stone.)
A website may be helpful. It should answer some of your questions and give a feel for the supplier and what they offer. Testimonials may suggest how the supplier works and you can match these assets to your vision for the day.
Contact
Once you’ve narrowed down your choices, phone or meet with the supplier. The questions you ask will depend, according to the product or service you are seeking, and according to your personal inclinations.
Questions
As a minimum, ask the supplier:
- About availability
- Costs (possibly, expect only an estimate at this stage)
- What is included and what is not. This may well vary between suppliers of the same service. As a celebrant, I quote a final, all-in figure, but mention in my Ts & Cs exceptional add-ons.
- Terms and Conditions (including payment terms) – these need to state what you can expect from the supplier, as well as what they can expect from you.
- Cancellation policy
Meeting the Supplier
When you speak to (or, preferably, meet) your supplier, there are things you will need to clarify. (These will depend on the particular supplier’s field, of course.)
You may well need to know what happens if a hired wedding dress is returned dirty. Does the caterer offer gluten-free alternatives? Can the florist supply out-of-season flowers? Does the celebrant offer a rehearsal? Does the planner attend in person, or send a (possibly inexperienced) substitute? What type of photographs does the photographer plan to take? Does the venue provide exclusive use?
It’s important that the supplier buys in to your vision. Of course, they may – should – offer advice, but they need to listen to what you want and accommodate your wishes, if at all possible.
Hopefully, you easily find suppliers who are pleasant and professional. You need to feel confidence in them, and, if not, look elsewhere.
If the supplier you want is a little expensive, maybe you can haggle a bit. (For example, shift from a peak-time date or time.) If that doesn’t work, perhaps you can balance your budget, by finding a supplier for another service for a lower price. Finally, if you really like the supplier, perhaps you can stretch your budget just a bit?
Decision made
Don’t rush into your decision-making. It’s such an important call. So, if in doubt, go back to the supplier and query the issue.
Of course, you should reconfirm with your suppliers nearer the date of your ceremony, but otherwise, if you have chosen well, they should be able to get on with their job effectively.
You should have such a lot less on your mind, come the big day, if you’ve done your due diligence.
If one of the potential suppliers you’re looking for is a civil celebrant, don’t forget that I am available for a chat.
Photo: aiony-haust-xCQm5_9aro0-unsplash
