by Michael | Oct 11, 2021 | Blog
How do you judge the value of a celebrant? Yes, you expect a well-presented wedding ceremony, but is that the limit of your expectation? And what price do you put on that, anyway?
To some extent, the same goes with any supplier. They name a price and you decide whether or not to pay it. But it’s harder to evaluate the worth of a service, as opposed to tangible goods.
First Steps
You may be able to ask around for recommendations. (But bear in mind that another person’s opinion may conflict with yours.) The website may furnish some useful information. Testimonials are useful.
But most civil celebrants’ websites will talk about the same things. They’ll tell you the sort of ceremony on offer. They may talk about their experience and training. They may have some lovely photos.
But no two celebrants can offer an identical service, simply because their personality and characteristics are individual.
I might not be the first choice for someone looking for an Elvis-impersonator; but they could jump at the chance to work with me on a mixed-faith ceremony, for example. Some may prefer my calm, measured approach; others, might go for razzamatazz.
So how do you know what you are getting?
Choosing the Celebrant
Ultimately, you may have to go with your gut. Do you actually want this celebrant to be conducting your marriage? Can you trust them to deliver?
A consultation will help you answer these questions. You may have a vision of your big day. Share this with the celebrant. Do they sympathise? Do they even listen ? Do they insist on doing it their way?
Do they seem professional? Have they a sense of humour? Are they pleasant? Are they passionate? How clear are their explanations? Do their presentation skills look good? Do you think they are dependable?
You may also like to consider the celebrant’s USP. I would have missed out on several wonderful ceremonies without my knowledge of Russian and Hebrew (and I speak French and German as well!).
Moving On
Before you sign on the dotted line, take the trouble to read the Ts and Cs. They may not be very interesting, but it’s as well to know what the mutual expectations are.
The cost is obviously relevant, but you can sometimes juggle your budget allocations to ensure you get the celebrant you really want. It is so important to get your choice right.
I hope these hints help you judge the value of your celebrant.
Do feel free to approach me for a non-obligation chat!
photo: samyaz.sproutstudio.com
by Michael | Sep 27, 2021 | Blog
A wedding is one of the important ceremonies imaginable.
Whether it is formal or informal, traditional or modern, beautifully chosen music can add significantly to the character and atmosphere of any ceremony.
A celebrant can contribute greatly here. Although these are my thoughts, obviously each person will have their own preferences. I don’t expect this to meet everybody’s taste!
Music – when?
Quite often, music is played before the ceremony begins. It can be ambient and isn’t usually overpowering. Then, you can expect to hear the music that marks the arrival of the bride (and train, if any). This may well have significance to the couple.
The same goes for the Recessional (when the couple walk out at the end), although this music may well be louder and more upbeat.
Potentially, there could be music during the ceremony, but this tends to be unusual. However, if there is a signing of the Register (towards the end), that is a potential slot for music. Works by Baroque or Classical composers’ (eg Bach, Handel, Beethoven) are often played during the signing. These pieces need to last long enough (at least five minutes) to avoid a potentially uncomfortable silence.
Music – which?
Commonly, wedding marches are played at the Processional and Recessional. Classical music is popular then, but it does not have to be classical, of course. You can have any genre, depending on the wishes of the couple. Indeed, there may be good reasons to choose music from other cultures, and this can be fascinating as well as moving for guests.
Music – how?
Live music can make a ceremony very special indeed. It can be quite costly, of course, but, as long as musician(s) and the celebrant agree beforehand when the music is going to be played, this can be a lovely touch.
Modern technology offers far more possibilities and is often cheaper. A lot of reliance may need to be placed on both the audio equipment and the operator.
To ensure smooth running of the ceremony, a rehearsal (with musicians/audio equipment) can be recommended, although responsibility for paying for this would be the couple’s.
Music – why?
Music heightens the emotions and gives meaning to the moment. Of course, it can mask “dead time”. More importantly, it will help bring about a wonderful feel-good sensation and contribute to ensuring that the ceremony is memorable for all the guests and a highlight of the couple’s life together.
Photo: Neli Prahova.
by Michael | Jul 21, 2021 | Blog
It must have been so hard for brides and grooms to have to face uncertainty about their wedding arrangements. Over months and even years.
Should they marry, but postpone the celebrations, perhaps till the first anniversary?
Do they just marry, and skip the celebrations altogether?
Do they marry, but celebrate (with no more than thirty guests)?
Do they put off the wedding altogether and wait for certainty? (But what’s “certain”?)
How do you book venues and suppliers and invite guests under such circumstances?
As a celebrant, I have really missed celebratory events. Since I am trained to compile and conduct funerals too, I have been kept reasonably busy over the last 18 months. Funerals are something I love doing, and, although my finances have still taken a hit, I am grateful that I’ve been able to work through lockdown.
However, I love the celebratory events, and I have not done one for almost two years. You will probably therefore get an idea how pleased I was to be back in harness last weekend.
The couple were delightful. They had chosen a golf club, Blacknest, in Surrey, which evidently takes its weddings very seriously. There was a huge marquee for the catering, tepees (including a big bridal one), a gazebo where the ceremony would take place with rows of benches in front, portaloos, and a shaded area. Not to mention, a table-tennis table and croquet equipment.
It was a glorious day (though very warm indeed), and the guests’ mood was bright, encouraging and supportive. The procession had been choreographed perfectly to fit the music, and the bride was uncharacteristically punctual!
Highlights of the ceremony? The bride’s brother read out a lengthy but witty and amusing poem about the couple. The couple had both prepared their vows (which the other had never seen or heard before), which was a very emotional section. The guests were asked to commit to lifetime friendship and support for the couple, which they readily agreed to. The “first kiss” as a married couple – always popular!
Then there were drinks on the grass, followed by eating, and a festival atmosphere.
There’s no doubt about it: the couple loved it, and so did the guests – and it was great for me to get back where I belong!
by Michael | Jul 12, 2021 | Blog
I’m very excited! It’s been almost two years since I last conducted a wedding, and my next one is at the weekend! Woo hoo!
Weddings are something I’m passionate about and have really missed through the lockdowns. Not just financially, although that has been a consideration, of course. But it’s being part of the creative process, and all that goes with it, which is something you can’t put a price on.
It’s so rewarding to work with the couple (not necessarily over such a big time span is in this instance!), making suggestions, offering ideas and guidance. Getting to know them and their beliefs and wishes. Talking their plans through and making sense of sometimes vague ideas.
It’s wonderful how the couple’s excitement grows, as they see their vision building towards fulfilment. The reality of it all dawns gradually, and it’s so satisfying to be able to realise and achieve for the couple whatever their dreams for the ceremony may be.
Of course, nothing surpasses the day itself. The warmth and love that surround the couple, starting with the groom welcoming the guests. There is good humour, bonhomie and committed support, and all that helps to dissipate the nerves the groom must be feeling.
The arrival of the bride is typically a moment of high drama. Whether or not there is a procession, or even music, the bride’s arrival is a highlight, and she always looks resplendent centre-stage.
The ceremony is special too, of course, the culmination of much collaboration and work. As celebrant, when I’m up there with them, I do my best to encourage the couple and put them at their ease. I facilitate the event smoothly and calmly and make it personal for the couple and meanignful for all. I try to make the guests feel included. It’s not about me, I well understand, but I am a vital part of the proceedings nonetheless.
Most people will only marry the once, and they will want the day to be unforgettable. My memory is not so reliable these days, but I can vividly recall my wedding back in 1999. For all the right reasons! I always welcome those recollections.
So perhaps you’ll appreciate why I’m so glad to be back marrying people once again. I can’t wait, and I think, on this occasion, I may well end up just as excited as the couple!
Photo: www.elwood photography.co.uk
by Michael | Jul 5, 2021 | Blog
When you and your partner are standing in front of all your guests, about to be married, you’re going to be nervous. Much depends on the person who is up there with you both. If the celebrant is curt and uncaring, that will make things worse. If they empathise and are also in control, you’ll feel good.
The celebrant has absolutely got to be someone you trust and feel comfortable with. That way, you can relax and actually enjoy the moment.
How do you achieve that?
Step One
The pursuit of the ideal celebrant begins either with a reference from somebody who knows, or has used, them or with a Google search. In the first case, you can move on to Step Two below; in the second, you need to read the website and especially note the testimonials. What do people like about the celebrant? Do they offer what you are looking for? Does working with them appeal?
Step Two
If they are promising, you need to make contact. Face-to-face, if you’re comfortable; otherwise, by phone, zoom or skype. Firstly, check availability. If that’s OK, the next thing you’re looking for is whether you feel an affinity for the celebrant. If you do, do you feel that they will be accommodating to your ideas for the ceremony? Will they bulldoze you, or respect your choices and desires? Do they have a sense of humour? Do they seem professional?
Do they come across as organised? How are their presentation skills? How experienced are they? Will they try to get to know you (and your wishes)? How contactable are they?
Only if you’re satisfied with the answers (and, by all means, speak to a couple of celebrants, so you can compare), move on to the next step.
Step Three
You will need to check Terms & Conditions (especially, these days, the cancellation policy). Not least, you need to know the cost – and exactly what that includes. Is travel extra? What about a rehearsal? When do you have to pay what?
If the fee quoted is within – or close to – your budget, then you’re probably on to a good thing. But it is so important to work with the right celebrant, rather than one that you can easily afford. Remember, much of the celebrant’s crucial work happens before the wedding (although the visible part is on the day, of course).
If you like the celebrant, but they seem a little dear, maybe you can save some money elsewhere – for example, when booking other suppliers, to make sure you can secure the right celebrant.
So, the task is only three steps. It’s relatively simple, but needs to be carried out conscientiously. Then you can secure the celebrant who will make your ceremony truly special. Surely that’s worth a bit of effort?!
Have a chat with me to see how I can help you!
Photo: lyndseygoddard.com
