by Michael | Nov 25, 2014 | Blog
I’m not superstitious – touch wood.
Well, we’ve probably all heard that old chestnut – but there are a lot of intriguing wedding superstitions around, and I’d like to look at a few now.
Keeping bride and bridegroom apart
This custom goes back to the days of arranged marriages. The fear was that if the pair saw each other before the ceremony (which would often be the first time they met), they might have second thoughts and back out.
Nowadays, with fewer matchmakers around, it does seem to be less prevalent, although it certainly exists.
The bride’s veil
This originated in Ancient Rome, when a veil was considered necessary protection for the bride against potentially jealous evil spirits as she walked down the aisle.
Carrying the Bride over the Threshold
Originally a medieval superstition, it was believed that a bride was extremely vulnerable to evil spirits via the soles of her feet. By carrying her into their new home, the groom would ensure that the evil spirits had no access that way.
Something Old, New, Borrowed and Blue
These items loosely represent past, present and future. The “old” obviously symbolises the bride’s past; the “new” stands for the couple’s (happy) future. The “borrowed” item should come from someone who is happily married, so that the present good fortune rubs off on to the newly-weds. “Blue” represents fidelity and love.
Bells
Surprisingly, perhaps, the ringing of church bells is probably not of religious origin. It is considered to be another weapon to drive away evil spirits. And miniature bells are quite a common gift for newly-weds, especially in Ireland.
Source: www.steponitinc.com
Breaking Glass
I thought of this as merely a Jewish custom: the groom shatters a glass cup underfoot to symbolise that the new relationship will last for ever and is also a sobering reminder of the fall of the Jerusalem Temple. However, this action is also common in Italy, where the number of pieces of broken glass is said to represent the number of years the couple will spend together.
Crying
Crying on your wedding day is fine, as it is considered that you will get your lifetime’s crying over and done with at this one occasion.
Wedding Day
Unbeknown to many, English superstition has it that Saturday is the unluckiest day of the week to get married. Well, it can’t be too unlucky, as most people are still doing it!
Rain on your Wedding Day
Rain is considered to symbolise fertility. It’s also a blasted nuisance.
Watch who you Meet
It is supposedly bad luck to cross nuns, priests or funeral processions on the way to the ceremony; however, all will be well if you see a black cat, rainbow, policeman or frog (as one does). And chimney sweeps are good news too.
Well, whether you think there’s anything in these “old wives’ tales”, at least you can’t say you haven’t been warned.
Good luck!
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Sep 23, 2014 | Blog
Following on from my last blog – why you should consider a vow renewal – I’d like to look at how you can save money once you’ve decided to go for the vow renewal.
The good news about vow renewals is that they tend to be a lot cheaper than weddings! However, nobody wants to spend more than they need to, so here are some suggestions that can lighten the load.
Venue
If you opt for a building or place of worship, you’ll find you’re in competition with people looking for a wedding venue. That means that the need to book early – and prices – will reflect the demand. What about holding the ceremony in your garden – assuming you have one, of course? It will take some time and effort to clean it up and prepare it, and a little imagination and expense to decorate it, but it could work very well. (Remember to warn the neighbours, though!)
You might be able to hold your ceremony in a public place like a park – but you may still need permission from the landowner (and there may well be a charge).
Clothing
If you still have the clothes you were married in, why not wheel them out again? You may have changed shape a bit in the intervening years, so do try them on well beforehand. A tailor’s alterations may save you a lot compared to buying a new outfit.
If you do want to buy from new, you may be able to find suitable attire at a good price online or wait for sales’ season.
There’s nothing to stop you from having a casual affair, so you can use clothes already in your wardrobe.
You could always compromise by buying a couple of items – shoes for her, and a tie for him, say.
Photographer
I always advocate a professional photographer for a wedding, and the same applies for a vow renewal. However, you can often get a cheaper rate, if you find a photographer just starting out. You might be able to enquire from a nearby college whether there are any photography students that they could recommend for you.
You can advertise, of course, although this can add quite a bit to your costs. Craigslist is seen by many photographers.
Food
There’s much to be said for professional caterers, but they do add a lot on to the price. A sit-down meal is complex as well as dear, but, provided you have places to sit, a buffet will work really well. If preparing it yourself, you could ask family and friends to bring a dish. You might be able to buy from wholesale cash and carries, if you’re buying in bulk, and save money that way.
Note that fruit and vegetables that are in season are likely to be cheaper.
Final thought
I haven’t mentioned the civil celebrant, but their ceremonies usually cost a lot less than weddings.
Using this advice, you should be able to plan a lovely ceremony without too much work or expense. As you would with a wedding, make sure you and your partner are in agreement about all the arrangements!
Enjoy!
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Sep 2, 2014 | Blog
Did you know the following six facts?
For centuries, marriage was considered a means for improving your wealth or status. A well-chosen marriage could preserve your power, gain you land and produce heirs for you. Love had nothing to do with it (until around the 17th century). In fact, love was often seen as an obstacle to an “advantageous” marriage. It only became at all common for people to marry for love from the late 18th century. That was because, after the Industrial Revolution, people could earn enough money to afford to go against their parents’ choice of spouse.
The first known marriages (as in documented events) date back to around 2,000 BC, in Mesopotamia (modern-day Iraq).
Wearing a white dress on your wedding day only became popular in the West in the mid-1800s, after Queen Victoria wore white to marry Prince Albert. This tradition is not universal, however, as it is common for the bride to wear red in countries such as India and China, as that is considered to be a lucky colour.
Some 5,000 weddings a year take place in Gretna Green. This is a Scottish village, just over the border from England, which became popular for runaway weddings after a 1753 Act made marriage in England and Wales more regulated. Consequently, people started to go north, where the rules were much freer. Nowadays, Gretna Green is more of a romantic notion, but still highly popular.
The longest marriage on record is that between Daniel and Susan Bakeman, who were married in New York City in 1772, and stayed together over 91 years.
Apparently, more than a third of marriages these days begin online. Studies suggest that online couples tend to have longer, arguably happier, marriages.
Who’d have thought it?
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Aug 5, 2014 | Blog
Every wedding is different. Some hints can make almost any wedding better, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution. However, some of these suggestions ought to be able to help you with your wedding, whatever your vision may be.
Thanks to www.NeliPrahova.com
The “Correct” Wedding
As I’ve indicated, there is no such thing as a “correct” wedding.
Like many, you may go down the formal religious route, if that’s what you want. (Please note: I am not saying “if that’s what your parents want”, which is a whole different – though valid – issue).
If you’re happy with the non-religious, but formulaic registry office ceremony, then, of course, that’s fine too.
However, before deciding, bear in mind that you should celebrate your wedding in the way that makes sense to you (both). You need to follow your instincts. You can be creative. You can be yourself.
You don’t need to believe in God to have a ceremony that is sincere, inviting, personal to you, that will delight not only you both, but your family and friends.
With the help of your civil celebrant, you can create a ceremony that honours different cultures and traditions in a way that unites rather than divides.
Planning
Ideally, if your family is financing the affair, they should not dictate their beliefs or wishes on your big day. Please note that I am saying “YOUR big day”. If your parents can let go, there won’t be all that tension, and you’ll be free to get fun and enjoyment out of the whole event.
The groom should be a part of the planning process. After all, if you are sharing a whole-life vision, why ignore such an important, significant occasion? The groom should certainly be given a chance to offer input (hopefully, he will not consider himself ‘superior’, nor should he be considered not worth consulting).
Perfection
If you demand perfection, you probably won’t enjoy the day (or lead-up). Of course, you can aim at a wonderful event and employ relevant, trusted professionals to help achieve that. But the goal of the wedding is that people will remember your wedding five, even ten, years on with a warm glow.
Follow these simple suggestions, and your wedding day should become a great deal more beautiful,, memorable and successful!
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Jul 15, 2014 | Blog
They say that working with children is one of the riskiest things performers can do, as you can never predict children’s behaviour.
The same thing applies to formal ceremonies – weddings, vow renewals, etc.
One option is to make the event child-free, which is absolutely fine, so long as you make this clear on the invitations.
However, not everybody wants – or is able – to do this. So how can you reduce the risk of your ceremony being taken over by over-tired little Orville or attention-seeking Annette?
Here are some ideas.
If you can give them jobs – and show due appreciation afterwards – they will feel valued and will aim to please.
Possible jobs
At the ceremony
Children aged between 4 and 8 or so can serve as flower girls (or boys). One tip here is to make sure that their clothes are comfortable, so they do not become fidgety and, indeed, grumpy.
Older children (between, say, 8 and 14) can be pages or ladies-in-waiting. They may do errands (such as fetching a glass of water or passing messages) and will enjoy the responsibility.
Gift-attendants will suit 12-14-year-olds (assuming the event is big enough for this to be relevant). The children can simply watch over the gifts or possibly tag them with the name of the giver.
You may want a guest-book attendant. Provided that the child is reasonably outgoing, he or she can invite all the guests to sign the guest book. This will probably suit a friendly child over the age of about 14.
Ushers are always useful. Older children may do this best, but they can even have a little train of young ushers to look after. It’s nice if the youngsters can take adult guests by the hand and lead them to their seat!
At the Reception
Food and Drink
Work with the caterer to ensure there is kid-friendly fare out there. I’m personally all for a healthy diet, but on the odd occasion I think we can turn a blind eye. So bring on the chips, mini-burgers, cheese pies, spaghetti hoops, jam or peanut butter sandwiches, Pringles and the like! Provide juice (and if you serve it in goblet-like cups, the children can join in the toasting) and also still water.
Activities
Colouring books, sticker books, box decorating, fabric painting are usually popular with children. If you have a separate room for them, then they might be able to watch a video or even play games like bingo or musical chairs. They may need activity directors to organize these activities (pre-teens are often excellent at this).
Bubble-blowing is another popular option.
Finally, don’t forget to offer, if you can, a chill-out space.
Of course, you may be able to enlist the help of a parent or adult friend to supervise what goes on, or hire an entertainer such as a magician, but you might be surprised how successfully youngsters may run the show. And they come somewhat cheaper!
At any rate, the children will appreciate that they have been included in the adults’ celebration in such a way that they can feel useful and really enjoy themselves, and their behaviour should reflect this.
So everyone’s a winner!
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
