by Michael | Aug 13, 2018 | Blog
One of the joys of my job is that I am able to create a unique ceremony. My clients have the freedom to choose precisely how they want their event to pan out. They are in control of the amount (if any) of religion, rituals, music, readings and participation.
However, it’s worth having a closer look at “unique”. There are only so many different venues, rituals or readings available for your service – but the combination and choice can add up to “unique”.
Venue
In 2014 (sorry I don’t have more up-to-date figures!), 33.5% of UK marriages were conducted in a religious building (mostly, churches). The register office accounted for 10.5%. That left over half taking place elsewhere.
The most popular place was a hotel (nearly 20%), followed by a castle (15.5%). Almost 5% got married abroad and just fewer than 1% tied the knot in a marquee.
Do your sums and you’ll note that that leaves a fraction over 15% whose wedding took place somewhere else again!
Intriguingly, I couldn’t find any statistics for this large share of the market, but I guess we are looking at more imaginative places such as sea-shores, back gardens, hot-air balloons, underwater – and who knows where!
What it does show is that people are more aware of creative possibilities and more open to civil ceremonies.
Cost
The majority of weddings in 2014 (34%) cost between £5,000 and £10,000, although those spending between £10,000 and £20,000 were close behind (33.2%). Almost a quarter spent £5,000 or less.
The costs are unlikely to have diminished over this passage of time.
The honeymoon
The average honeymoon price was £4,700. Favourite destinations were the 3 Ms: Mexico, Mauritius and the Maldives.
Planning
Finally, how did prospective pairs plan their 2014 weddings?
Clearly, they used a combination of resources. Websites furnished information for 90.5% of couples, magazines 83.5% and fairs or shows almost three quarters.
Summary
Evidently, people are becoming conscious of having more choice. They realise that the church and register office are not the only options. Along with venue selection, they can have a real say in how they celebrate their own big day. And that means the type of ceremony (for further thoughts on this, please see my blog “Personalised Weddings” ).
This freedom of choice has got to be a good thing! Use it!
by Michael | Aug 6, 2018 | Blog
An innocent invitation
My wife and I were invited to a wedding recently – I am more used to being the Civil Celebrant than a wedding guest, so the boot was on the other foot this time! The first decision was the wedding present. The couple were starting a new home together and had a Wedding List from John Lewis.
So we took a look to see what we could get them.
I had dire images in my mind of ridiculous, extravagant gifts that we could never afford to buy, but fortunately they were requesting a range of items varying from about £25 to a couple of hundred pounds. As long as you got in fairly quickly, you could buy what you wanted without necessarily bankrupting yourself.
A more demanding invitation
But what if they had been requesting the contents of the Bank of England vaults (assuming anything is there)?
What if they had been having the wedding in some tropical paradise?
Would it have had to come down to deciding whether or not to attend because the demands on our pockets were too great ?
We would have been really sorry to have missed that wedding (on a number of counts). Marriage was important to them (as it is to us). Also, our friendship presumably was too.
In this instance, as I’ve have said, we weren’t placed in the dilemma of having to decide whether to attend or not. But what if we had been?
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
If your emotions tell you one thing, but your head tells you another, can there be a compromise? Well, I’d say so.
Of course, you could make some excuse about unavailability, which would avoid embarrassing yourself by giving the real reason. That doesn’t help, though, if your heart is set on attending. (Incidentally, if you’re not going to show up, give maximum warning so that someone else could possibly be invited in your stead. And certainly ensure that you don’t leave it so late that the couple are charged for the meal you’ll not be consuming.)
But how about being up front? “I’d love to come to your wedding, but my budget doesn’t stretch that far at the moment. But maybe we can take you out for a lovely dinner [or a show or something equivalent that is affordable] at another date?”
That way, at least you show that you do value their friendship.
Moreover, send them a lovely, personal congratulatory good wishes card, which is a lovely touch.
And going out with them for that meal or show means you’ll be spending quality time with your friends. Not something you can do at a wedding, of course.
So perhaps there is a viable alternative to breaking the bank when it comes to being a wedding guest.
by Michael | Jul 30, 2018 | Blog
My summer holidays this year have been relatively tame (not that I didn’t enjoy them a lot): a couple of nights in the Cotswolds and then a couple more with friends near Cologne.
One oddity, when I do go away, is that – however quiet business has been up till then – enquiries suddenly descend on me.
A few years back, the Gordon family were literally on the doorstep with our suitcases, about to go away (also to Germany), when the phone rang. My wife ordered me to take the call, and it turned out to be an inquiry for a job I was later to get. So that worked well.
Similarly, this year, the day we left, I was contacted about putting together a wedding ceremony in Hertfordshire for a Chinese couple. The downside is that I have incredibly little notice, but luckily I have become quite proficient at coping with “lastminute.com” ceremonies. I think I’m going to manage it!
While we were away, I was also contacted about a small wedding in someone’s home in just over a month. Well, that would not normally be too much of a challenge to me. However, what I omitted to mention was that my correspondent seems very laid-back about responding, and this ceremony is supposed to take place in Wisconsin! At the time of writing, I don’t know if this will come to pass at all.
I was also asked to do a burial service on the one day I had between my two trips – I guess that timing is king!
And just before our holiday, I was booked for another last minute ceremony for a couple of weeks from now. Holiday or no holiday, business could be worse …
Strange, perhaps, but that is typical of the flurry of activity that seems to accompany my modest holiday plans!
Mind you, if it’s going to bring me more work, maybe I should be taking more holidays!
by Michael | Jul 9, 2018 | Blog
Weddings and public speaking go together. And stage-fright is often an (unwelcome) part of the process.
In fact, according to statistics, many people fear delivering a speech more than they fear death!
The likelihood is that you will be called upon to write and deliver a speech at least some time in your life. It may be for a business presentation or else for a family event. It could be in front of a handful of people or before a whole crowd. However, it is a skill that is well worth mastering.
My story
Only a few years ago, I needed persuasion before I would even enter a room to network. After a while, I became more comfortable. Then I was persuaded to give a 10-15 minute presentation about my business in front of 18 people. That was a step too far! I was so nervous that I gestured wildly and shattered a glass of water. I became memorable, but not at all for the right reasons!
Now, I willingly and confidently address small crowds (I haven’t got to the 1000s stage, but I hope that may happen). Recently, I was put in front of 200 guests at the Savoy, and it wasn’t an issue. Indeed, as a civil celebrant, my success depends, at least in part, on my presentation skills.
I’d therefore like to pass on knowledge and tips that I have acquired, so that the potential ordeal of public speaking can become much more palatable.
Focus
I am going to concentrate here on celebratory-type ceremonies. Essentially, we will need to focus on content and delivery. Here are some thoughts as a starting-point.
Tips
- It is better to be brief than over-long – your audience may be hot, tired, hungry
- If you can deliver humour successfully, do so; if not, keep those jokes to a minimum!
- Avoid too many “in-references” – at a wedding half the guests may not know anything about one of the newly-weds, so in-jokes can fall very flat and exclude whole groups
- Use a script or, better still, numbered 3 x 5″ cards. (Only very accomplished, experienced speakers can deliver off the cuff). Rehearse so that you can deliver your speech with only occasional reference to your notes. Eye contact with your audience is very important, if you are to engage with them
- There may be a good sound system, but ensure you can be heard loudly and clearly – you can help that by not burying your head in your notes and by speaking s-l-o-w-l-y ( a lot slower than you may expect!)
- Avoid saying anything controversial, whether about personalities in the room or about politics – the idea of the proceedings is to create a wonderful atmosphere, not to score points!
- Use anecdotes, but ones that fit in and are relevant. Avoid meandering ‘shaggy dog’ stories that may lose your audience. If you are not good at crafting a good story, maybe you can get someone to help you
- Delivery should be slower, rather than faster, and do not be afraid of a silence, if appropriate. Try not to address one area of the room only, but make everyone feel included
If you need any more advice, then there are professional presenters out there who can help. And I would be happy to help too.
Remember that it is a privilege to be asked to give a speech, so be grateful. Remember your audience at all times. Oh, and, however nervous you may be, save the alcohol for afterwards!
Enjoy the occasion.
by Michael | Jul 2, 2018 | Blog
It was great! Last weekend I conducted an outdoor ceremony. And during the week too. And my next ceremony is due to be outdoors too.
It’s been a fabulous summer (so far), so it makes perfect sense. But let’s change tack slightly. What about a winter outdoor ceremony?
Hold your horses (or reindeer?), I hear you say. Who’d have a wedding or vow renewal in the open in the UK in the winter?
Well, I agree that it’s a huge gamble. (It can be a huge gamble in the summer too, of course!) Nobody relishes sitting through a wet, cold ceremony. But just imagine if you get one of those crisp, snowy days, with a blue sky. What could be more magical?
If you’re thinking of going for it, there are some ways of harnessing the climate to your advantage; you can also lessen its (negative) impact. So here’s what I, from my experience as a professional civil celebrant, suggest.
The Weather
Once you’ve taken the plunge (sorry about the pun!), then the decision is made and you simply have to make the best of it.
Two nice touches you could adopt are:
- Issue blankets (whether in themed colours or not) to guests
- When the guests arrive at the reception, rather than ice-cold champagne, why not offer them hot chocolate or mulled wine?
Make the Weather your Theme
You can use snowy scenes as background for your wedding invitations, RSVP cards, and, on the day, for the place cards.
Table decoration could include pine cones, foliage and lots of white. If it is likely to be snowy weather, plain white can work very well for the colour scheme.
You might even replace flowers (which, being out of season locally, can be costly) with pine cone bouquets, which are attractive as well as rather original.
Candles or tea lights may be a good idea, but you will have to take good old health and safety into account – people need to be able to see where they’re going and you don’t want fires breaking out, either! Also bear in mind that exposure to the elements may cause candles to be blown out or even to fall over!
Seasonal Colour
If you are having white as your themed colour, this may allow you to choose strong colours for bridesmaids, which could look very striking.
You can style the wedding cake with festive red and white.
The Garden
It can be a lot cheaper to use your garden for the wedding, rather than hiring a venue, and it may have, well, a homely feel about it, which can be charming. However, you might save less money than you think, and you risk missing out on that valuable peace of mind that dealing with professionals should afford.
You’ll have to make suitable arrangements for tables, chairs, toilets, parking, catering, place settings and electricity. Then you will need to offer protection from the elements, possibly providing blankets, as already suggested, and even umbrellas.
So, yes, an outdoor winter ceremony is a dangerous gamble, but the rewards can be so worthwhile …!
Just contact me for further information.
