Marriage Miscellany

by | Jul 22, 2014 | Blog

To be absolutely transparent: this article is really a mishmash of suggestions for the wedding day, rather than a “marriage miscellany”. I just couldn’t resist the alliteration – I hope you’ll forgive me!

Naturally, there are many factors that make up a successful wedding. As a civil celebrant, my specialism lies in the ceremony itself, but I get to see and experience other aspects too. So here are a few rather random – but no less valuable – thoughts that may help to make a difference to your big day.

The Bride’s appearance

As a middle-aged male, I don’t pretend to be an expert in this particular field. However, everybody seems to focus on the dress, make-up and hair. One area that tends to be overlooked is the skin. Without radiant skin, the cosmetics won’t be effective.

As for the dress, I’d only say that it should fit the occasion (ie stylish, if it’s a formal occasion).

Flowers

I would always advise hiring a professional. Go with their advice about seasonal displays. They will also look after the flowers – wilting flowers at a ceremony are so disappointing.

Photography

Whether you want the occasion recorded by video or still camera, you can save money by asking a friend to do the job.  Just bear in mind that there are down sides to this. Firstly, your friend may well miss out on much of the celebrating and socialising. Then, if he is not a professional, he might stuff up, and there are no second chances at weddings! And, of course, if you don’t like his work, a long-standing friendship could be put at risk.

I think a professional is advisable, though a major added expense. Provided you choose wisely (and I have written several blogs about this – eg https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/?p=1468), the outlay will feel justified, once you see the results.

Celebrant

You need someone who knows what they are doing, that you can relate to and trust. Again, I have often written about choosing a good celebrant, but the importance of doing your homework can’t be overestimated. After all, you want the ceremony to be perfect. Some advice can be found at https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/?p=1572.

The Reception

Table plans can be the devil to draw up, but are actually very welcome for guests (unless you have a mischievous streak and some scores to settle!). A big do can be quite disorientating and a little direction will not go amiss. If you mix people up a bit (judiciously!), they can have a lovely time making new acquaintances.

Children

I have often written about children at weddings (eg https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/?p=1659) . If you invite them, make sure they are occupied as much as possible. If they can participate in the ceremony, so much the better. At the reception, give them their own table (in the same room), with appropriate food and activities.

A miscellany, maybe, but I hope this was helpful and gave you a few things to think about.

Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.

Avoiding Wedding Foul-ups

by | Apr 22, 2014 | Blog

In my profession of civil celebrant, I sometimes find myself in “marriage counsellor mode”. But rather than look at putting right what may have gone wrong after marriage, in this blog I look at ways to prevent wedding foul-ups.

Prepare thoroughly

It’s always a difficult path to tread: do you hire a wedding planner or do it yourself? This is a subject I have discussed in my blogs already, but it is  something only you can decide on. If it’s a large wedding, there is so much that may be overlooked, so a wedding planner is an obvious choice.

Wedding planners don’t always turn out to be exorbitant and, in the long run, they may even save you money. What they certainly offer, which is invaluable, is peace of mind.

If you’re arranging it all yourself, you have to make a check-list of suppliers you will need. Next comes sourcing them – (first, vet and evaluate them, then be prepared to chase them up.) You need to make plenty of lists (well in advance) and be very careful not to miss anything out.

Be thorough in your research. Are there any local laws or regulations you need to know about – possibly, regarding the marriage licence or the venue’s requirements?

How are you going to organise the reception – and will there be that dreaded seating plan to draw up?

Keep your guests in the loop

Whom to invite is a potential minefield, but, if you have special requirements for your guests (eg theme, wedding list, dress code, unplugged wedding, arrangements for destination wedding, children not wanted, etc.), make sure these are clearly communicated.

Prepare participants

Ensure the best man (if you have one) has the ring(s) and knows what is required. If you have a reader or singer, will they know their cue? Do you need to warn any speech-makers about keeping it brief, and not offending others? Do bridesmaids and ushers know their roles?

 

On the day

Always allow more time than you need – for applying make-up or getting dressed calmly, traffic hold-ups, co-ordinating with photographers/videographers, or checking room arrangements with the venue.

Quite a lot to bear in mind, I accept. But if you proceed calmly and bear all the above in mind, there should every reason why your wedding day will be a resounding success!