by Michael | Jul 9, 2013 | Blog
OK, so the title is a poor play on words, but understanding the tax implications of marriage can prove very important.
Proposed tax break
I am a civil celebrant, not a tax expert, but I think I have my facts right. A new marriage tax break is on its way in, but actually it will only really benefit couples if one is a 20% tax payer and the other is bringing in less than £9,250 a year. Even then, the benefit will amount to only £150. So don’t rely on this to reimburse you for the wedding expenses!
However, there are other ways where it can be financially advantageous to be married.
Inheritance tax
This tax is charged on estates worth £325,000 or more. If you are married, or in a civil partnership, all assets can be passed wholly and freely to the surviving partner.
When the second partner dies, the allowances for each of them apply (together), so heirs can receive £650,000 before the tax comes into force.
Income tax
Income tax paid on savings, investments or a rental property can be reduced, if one spouse pays a lower rate of tax than the other. So assets can be switched, so that the lower-earner owns them (as long as the interest concerned is not more than the personal allowance).
Note that this is not permitted for unmarried couples.
Capital gains tax
If you are selling assets (eg funds, shares, property), each of you is taxed on any gain over £10,900. A couple can realise gains of £21,800 before the tax is applied.
Pensions
If married, you can inherit any final salary pension that your spouse earned. (This does not apply, if you are merely co-habiting.) Civil partners have the same rights as married spouses, incidentally.
Conclusion
I acknowledge that this may not have been the most riveting blog I have ever written, but I believe it addresses an important area, and I hope that anyone who has remained awake thus far will have gained something from it!
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Jun 28, 2013 | Blog
I recently came across a lovely, very quaint book published by A & C Black called “Don’ts for Weddings”. You can find plenty of advice on the web about weddings, but what makes this little book stand out is that it is actually a reprint of a manual from 1904.
Some things have remained the same, but, predictably, much has changed over 109 years. I thought it might be entertaining to quote a few paragraphs from the book, to give a flavour of what it contains. You can judge for yourself whether things have changed for the better!
The Engaged Couple
“Don’t make vulgar exhibition of your love: a close clasp of the hand or silent greeting of the eyes will suffice.
“Don’t tyrannise your fiancé. If you order him about and take his submission as your due, rest assured that one day the worm will surely turn.”
“Don’t consider the cosy corners, shady walks, and secluded nooks your monopoly at a house-party. Exercise a little healthful self-control.
“Don’t neglect to go about together as much as possible in tete-a-tete intercourse. Lovers must learn to pass their lives together.”
Texting, e-mails and social media?
“Don’t make a rule of writing to each other at bedtime with all you had not time to say, having parted at only 7 p.m. It may become a tax, and breaking it on either side may cause pain and friction.
“Don’t belittle love-letters when daily or frequent meetings are impossible. They have an important part to play in the course of true love.”
Marry in haste; repent at leisure
“Don’t rush an engagement. Let it be long enough for your love to settle into a more normal state, where you can gain a clearer estimate of your mutual fitness.
“Don’t risk criticism by urging a hasty marriage if you are a lady. Let that come from your fiancé.”
There are some 70 pages of advice. I may offer some more in a future blog, but you might consider obtaining this little guide yourself. Included within it is some excellent counsel – and also some earnest suggestions that now seem very amusing!
If you want rather more modern advice on planning or conducting a wedding, then please contact me.
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Jun 13, 2013 | Blog
Marriage isn’t easy. You have to work at it. You’re not always going to see eye-to-eye. But there are some strategies you can employ to make it easier to succeed.
Domestic chores
Housework has got to be done (unless you’re rich enough or have a robot), but it doesn’t have to be split 50/50. If it is, then there’s the risk of totting up scores, with consequent resentment.
It’s better if each of you chooses areas of competence. Usually in our house, my wife shops, does the school run and cooks; I tend to wash up, do the ironing and mow the lawn. Some weeks I probably do more than my wife; most weeks she does more.
Sex
[Only a short section, I’m afraid!]
It’s not always the way that both of you are ready for sex at the same time. However, if one of you is, the other should make an effort to go along with it (of course, there can be exceptions). It may well be fun and even healthy; at the very least, your partner will not have to suffer frustration.
If this you regularly disagree on this, do discuss it (and, if necessary, seek counselling).
Arguments
Rows are part and parcel of relationships. They are not pleasant, but they do help you to take stock of situations. As long as you can compromise and find suitable solutions, arguments can be healthy and even productive.
Try and respect your partner throughout, but, even though going to bed angry is not generally recommended, sometimes it is better to sleep on it, and then return to the fray refreshed (rather than tired and tetchy), and better able to find an acceptable solution.
Making assumptions
One mistake that can put stress on a marriage is assuming that your partner knows what may be obvious to you. It may be clear to anyone with half a brain that the lawn needs mowing or the dog needs exercising or that you need a kiss; but your partner may have other preoccupations, and if you haven’t communicated what you want, it’s probably not really their fault.
Rewards
Little gestures (such as a hug or suggesting your partner has an evening out with their friends, for example) can be valuable, but are easy to put off. Don’t – a little consideration and appreciation (which is what these things are) go a long way and can help cement a marriage.
Be prepared to make small changes
It can be surprising how beneficial it may be to make relatively small changes that can improve situations. Getting a dishwasher may make quite a difference; organizing a babysitter so you can both have an hour in the pub can constitute a valuable escape; exchanging domestic roles briefly may be refreshing (and help you realise what your partner actually contributes).
So something to think about – which is always worthwhile, if it improves your marriage.
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in London, elsewhere in the UK or Europe.
by Michael | Jun 11, 2013 | Blog
Whether you are having a civil ceremony or a traditional one, the marriage proposal is often one of the most fraught and nerve-wracking parts of the whole wedding process.
A lot of people still hanker after tradition (however ‘modern’ their thinking normally). In many cases, they don’t really know what they are expected to do.
The Proposal
Obviously, the engagement ring is an issue (and there’s not a lot of practical advice I can offer, as it’s such a personal thing), but you will actually need to propose.
First ‘minefield’
Do you ask your future father-in-law’s permission?
Certainly, in my case, I felt that my fiancee’s family was fairly traditional, so it made sense to ask. Fortunately it all worked out, but had I been rejected, I guess I could have said that I respected their decision, which they considered to be in their daughter’s best interest. As I lovedher, I would do my best to earn their permission. Perhaps they could suggest how I might do that?
At the very least, I would have been seen to have done ‘the right thing’ in their eyes.
You can ask either parent, of course, or neither. Most progressive parents will appreciate that it is actually the bride’s decision that is crucial.
Another way round this is to ask for the parents’ ‘blessing’ (which shows respect, but leaves the actual decision with the two of you).
Second ‘minefield’
When and where do you pop the question?
I can’t be prescriptive, of course. You may want to propose 30,000 feet up during a sky-dive. You may prefer the snug in your local pub. You may choose a display of dancers in a crowded shopping mall. But I’d advise some planning – though nothing too elaborate. Keep it reasonably simple. (A lot can go wrong with those showy proposals!)
The proposal is a moment to be recalled and recounted many times in the future, so you want something that will bring up fond memories.
Choose something that you are pretty sure will appeal to her (not necessarily what would suit you!). Don’t propose at half-time during a Manchester United match, if she doesn’t like soccer! Instead, maybe there is a special spot that you both love, or an activity you both enjoy.
Atmosphere is important. A quiet picnic may be just the thing. You don’t have to be totally romantic, but it can help.
I decided to propose when we were on holiday – five days in Rome. I did plan to pop the question on the last evening in the wonderful Piazza Navona, but, in truth, was dreading it, and it might have spoiled my holiday (and my bride-to-be’s). On the second day, we went to the Villa D’Este in glorious weather, had the place to ourselves, and it just happened. Down I went on one knee!
It was what I had planned, though certainly not to the last detail.
Again, it’s your choice whether the bended knee proposal is for you. It may also be good to have practised what you are actually going to say. I kept it very simple, and as I’m not an orator, that was probably best. Once my fiancée had recovered from her shock, she was delighted! Mercifully, we could both really enjoy the rest of our holiday then!
The proposal should not be an ordeal. With a little consideration and fore-thought, it can be something you both will always look back upon with pleasure. An unforgettable beginning to an unforgettable new life together.
Michael Gordon can deliver a tailor-made civil ceremony in London or further afield in the UK or Europe.
by Michael | Jun 4, 2013 | Blog
Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay. But how much of a role should it play in a wedding and the build-up?
Here are a few thoughts.
Engagement/wedding
Resist the temptation to post the good news of your engagement or wedding date on Facebook until you’ve told all your family and close friends first. It’s a common-sense, tactful thing, and may avoid causing a lot of offence.
Invitations
There’s nothing wrong with using social media for your invitations (e-vites) – it’s a lot cheaper than printed invitations and can still look good. (You can always send printed invitations to your more conservative friends/relatives, if you choose.)
Invitation replies
You need to be able to track these, so you have to be consistent and clear. It may be best not to use social media here (not [quite] everyone has a Facebook account, for example). E-mail is probably safe, but technological problems are not unknown! What if your computer dies? Thus Royal Mail may be the best bet, so ensure your address is on the invitation, even if the invitation is sent via social media.
The big event
It pays to communicate with your guests. You may well be happy with a photography free-for-all. That’s fine.
If you want no photography during the ceremony, however, you can put a note in the programme or post this fact on the wedding website. Most – if not all – people will respect your wishes. ‘Unplugged’ weddings are becoming increasingly common nowadays.
Hopefully, guests who do take shots regardless will, at least, not post these for a few days. (It’s best to go with the flow, if people disregard your request – it’s not worth letting their lack of consideration spoil your big day.)
Of course, people should be welcome to take photos of themselves, if they want.
Afterwards
Do send out ‘thank you cards’ – but not by e-mail or social media. They’ve got to be hand-written.
So use social media to help you, by all means, but be tactful and condsiderate about it.
