A Wedding Speech – or death?

A Wedding Speech – or death?

by | Jul 16, 2013 | Blog

Many people fear delivering a speech more than they fear death! (Apparently, this is a statistical fact!)

The likelihood is that most people will be called upon to write and deliver a speech at least some time in their life. It may be for a business presentation or else for a family event. It may be in front of a handful of people or before a whole crowd.

My credentials

Only a few years ago, before I became a civil celebrant, I was terrified at speaking about my own business in front of a dozen or so people – not any more. I can modestly claim to have brought the house down on two occasions with a wedding speech; I now willingly and confidently address small crowds (I haven’t got to the 1000s stage, but I hope that may happen).

Focus

I am going to concentrate here on wedding/vow renewal-type ceremonies. Content is another matter, but for now I really want to cover delivery.

10 Tips

  • It is better to be brief than over-long
  • If you can deliver humour successfully, do so; if not, keep those jokes to a minimum!
  • Avoid too many “in-references” – at a wedding half the guests may not know anything about one of the newly-weds, so in-jokes can fall very flat – and exclude whole groups
  • Use a script (only very accomplished, experienced speakers can deliver off the cuff), but rehearse so that you can make your speech with only occasional reference to your notes. Eye contact is very important
  • There may be a good sound system, but ensure you can be heard loudly and clearly – you can help that by not burying your head in your notes and by speaking more s-l-o-w-l-y than you would expect
  • Avoid saying anything controversial, whether about the families present or about politics – the idea of the proceedings is to create a wonderful atmosphere, not to score points or secure cheap laughs!
  • Use anecdotes, but ones that fit in and are relevant. Avoid meandering ‘shaggy dog’ stories that may lose your audience. Be very sure whether that embarrassing story about the bride will be well-received!
  • I stress that delivery should be slower, rather than faster, and do not be afraid of a silence for effect, if appropriate. Try not to address just one area of the room, but make everyone feel included. Smile – at least, at the beginning and end.
  • If very nervous, try a few deep breaths and no (or minimal!) alcohol – and remember, the guests will be on your side, and willing you to do well

Remember that it is a privilege to be asked to give a speech, so be grateful. Remember your audience at all times. Oh, and, however nervous you may be, save the alcohol for afterwards!

Enjoy the occasion.

 

 

What makes a good celebrant?

by | May 10, 2013 | Blog

The big question

A celebrant can make or break your big day. So what makes a good celebrant?

The answers

Be knowledgeable

First of all, you need a professional, someone who can advise you about the legal side.

Offer choice

Every bit as vital, the celebrant must be prepared to customise the ceremony. You can opt out of – or limit – ritual or traditional sections, if you choose. You are entitled to want flexibility, and the chance to choose content that has significance to you. You may also want advice. You certainly don’t expect to be hectored, though!

A good celebrant will encourage you to make the very best choices for your day.

Your ‘homework’

So you need someone who you feel comfortable with. Do a little homework first. Start with the celebrant’s website, especially if there’s a video on there. That may give you some idea of the celebrant’s personality. You have to work with him/her quite a bit before the big day – and especially on the day itself. So you’ll want to feel at ease together.

Before you commit, have a chat face-to-face, on Skype, or by phone, so you get a feel for the celebrant’s personality.

Religious or not?

Your celebrant should tailor-make the ceremony so that you can have as much or as little religious component as you choose. Indeed, if desired, elements from different faiths or backgrounds can be incorporated successfully, and the celebrant should be willing to accommodate your wishes.

You should be able to choose special readings or music. A good celebrant will be happy to incorporate these and offer advice. Dress is also down to you – and that can include the celebrant’s attire.

Other important points

Another important element is photography. A good celebrant will co-operate with the photographer/videographer.

It probably goes without saying, but look for someone who has excellent presentation skills. PA systems are often used nowadays, but it helps if the celebrant is clearly-spoken and can project his/her voice. A sense of humour may be invaluable too!

It pays to choose your celebrant with care. Don’t necessarily use a friend, although being able to relate to the celebrant is paramount. Do ensure, as far as you are able, that you choose a competent person, with a pleasant manner, who you believe will do a professional job.

 

Michael Gordon is a celebrant based in London.