by Michael | Oct 30, 2023 | Blog
It must be difficult to be unaware of the fact, but Halloween is upon us!
Perhaps you received a “trick or treat” visit or two at the weekend? There may be more to come tonight.
Ignore it, if you wish, but Halloween has become a fixed part of our calendar.
Have you ever considered how it began? And how it became what it is today?
Beginnings
Halloween was originally an offshoot of a Celtic festival called Samhain. It actually dates back some 2,000 years. It marked the end of summer and the harvest. It also marked the onset of the cold, dark winter, as well as the boundary between the world of the living and that of the dead.
According to ancient Celtic belief, on the night of 31st October ghosts of their dead would revisit the world. So, to ward off any evil spirits that might be roaming around, large bonfires were lit across villages. The priests (Druids) would have led the celebrations. They also ensured that the glowing embers of the bonfire were used to relight the hearth fire of each house. This would protect and heat the people during the long, cold, dark winter months to come.
Changes
When the Christians arrived in Britain in the late 6th century, of course they brought their festivals with them. Among these was All Hallows Day (or All Saints’ Day. This commemorates Christian martyrs.
In the 8th century this festival was moved to 1st November, probably to replace the Celtic Samhain.
Up-to-date
What had been Samhain became “All-hallows-even” and, eventually, “Hallow Eve”. Then it became “Hallowe’en” and “Halloween”. Now, it tends to be children-orientated. Apple-bobbing is still quite popular and then, influenced by American traditions, “trick or treating” has really taken off. Dressing up ghoulishly has become customary too.
The pagan aspects of Halloween have never totally been replaced. Many still believe that the spirit and physical world can come into contact at this time, and magic holds sway.
I’ve never yet performed a Halloween ceremony, but I’m game to do so next year! Let’s have a chat!
Photo by David Menidrey on Unsplash
by Michael | Oct 23, 2023 | Blog
You may not have seen a civil celebrant in action. You may not even know anybody who has. How are you going to get the right celebrant, if you’re fishing while virtually blind-folded?
Where to Begin
If you can’t get a personal recommendation, then the internet is a likely place to start. You might enter “Civil Celebrant – Harrow”, if you want one local to me. “Vows That Wow” should come up, and you can have a look at my website.
Have a read and also listen to the material. See if you think you like me! Would you want to work with me? Would you feel happy working together with me? Could you trust me? Would you want me conducting what is probably the biggest day of your life?
Have a look at my review page. Am I delivering the sort of things that you want? Would I work the way you may have in mind? Am I professional? And friendly and obliging? Do I listen?
Find a couple of celebrants (so you can compare them) and make a list of questions to ask them. You may want their Ts & Cs, if these aren’t on the website. What exactly do they include? You will want to know how they work. You may want to know about any rehearsal. What experience (and training) does the celebrant have? is there a price guide?
If you like them, meet up with them, if you can (zoom or phone work but are second best). Judge their personality, as best you can. Will they be likely to work with the vision for your big day that you may already have? Can they give impartial advice?
How it Works
No two celebrants work the same way. Some may favour religious elements; some prefer spiritual and, of course, some insist on the secular only. (Some offer a mixture!) You can have a pagan (or part-pagan) ceremony, but you may opt for a fairly conventional service.
Your chats with your celebrant will doubtless cover the rituals you may include (such as handfasting or glass-smashing), music, ring blessings, vows, the tone of the ceremony, the couple’s “story”, the participants and the texts.
The bottom line is that this is YOUR day. The civil celebrant is there to facilitate and ensure that your wishes and desires are fulfilled. They should ensure that your expectations are met – and exceeded – and that the ceremony will be fabulous for all concerned.
I’d love to craft such a ceremony for you. Just contact me and we can have a chat.
photo: Soody Ahmed
by Michael | Oct 17, 2023 | Blog
Humour and ceremonies don’t seem to go together, do they?
After all, a life-cycle ceremony is a major event. It can be a Wedding, a Vow Renewal, a Handfasting, a Naming Ceremony, a mixed-faith service, or whatever … If you choose (and go to the trouble and expense) to mark the occasion in public, then it means something to you. (And this also applies to a funeral.)
So you surely want the service to be meaningful and significant. You may well want it personalised, and there are many ways of doing that. Just ask your celebrant.
However, the tone and language can make the difference. What sort of register do you want: formal, informal, or something in between? Must the readings be spiritual? Could any be silly?!
People often believe that, if it’s a formal occasion, humour is inappropriate. If a couple are making their vows, then these have to be serious. I would argue that the tenor might well be solemn, but a bit of humour will simply reflect the good relationship between the couple. It will also lighten the proceedings, which the guests may well welcome too! And humour doesn’t have to equate with insincerity or levity.
Then, surely, even if you accept that some humour might fit in to a happy occasion, you can’t expect humour at a funeral, can you?
Well, it all depends, admittedly. If the deceased was a joker and had a good sense of humour, then they probably would have appreciated a funny story or two about them. If they went around with a smile on their face, then they probably would prefer that everybody remembers the good times, rather than dwells on the loss too much.
I have heard some quite wonderful tales of the deceased, whom I, of course, would never have met. They enabled me to form a picture of the departed as well as reminding the guests of shared good times. If you pardon the dark humour, the stories help put flesh on the bones!
So don’t go feeling that it’s “not the right thing” to include humour. Carefully used, it can have a place at any ceremony and will enhance it.
photo: lyndseygoddard.com
by Michael | Oct 5, 2023 | Blog
You may not be aware of the available choices for a wedding service. This applies especially if you”re looking for a stand-out ceremony.
Options
Religious
A traditional wedding may well work for you, and that’s fine.
But it may not reflect the real you.
You may not be comfortable with the religious vocabulary. The content may not excite or move you. It is, after all, fairly standard and immutable. It can be quite lengthy too, which does not suit everybody.
Register Office
These services tend to be one-size-fits-all. They will all be totally secular. Moreover, they’re often delivered by people who are not the greatest at presenting. So these ceremonies don’t tend to be all that special.
Of course, that will suit some people well enough, and that’s fine too.
Civil Celebrant Ceremony
One of the great advantages of these ceremonies is that they can be flexible. They can reflect your personalities,, beliefs and desires.
You can have a religious service, if you want, though, more commonly, people opt for a part-religious service or a secular one. The content will depend on your choices. You can have spiritual readings, favourite poems, and friends or family may actively participate. You can include rituals. Maybe you wish to write your own vows.
The tone can be up to you as well. Formal, semi-formal or informal? Your choice.
Putting all this together can be challenging, and that’s where your civil celebrant can help you. They can advise and guide. They will also be trained in public speaking, so they will present just perfectly.
Incidentally, if it’s a celebrant-led ceremony, you can hold the service virtually wherever you want – including outdoors.
The whole aim is to produce a tailor-made ceremony that is approved by you before the delivery. A perfect service is the goal.
I’d love to help you with all of this. Just give me a call!
Photo: samyaz.sproutstudio.com
by Michael | Oct 2, 2023 | Blog
“Mens sana in corpore sano.” That’s what I seem to remember from my schoolboy Latin. The author was called Juvenal, I recall.
He had the right idea, I think. “A healthy mind in a healthy body.” You need to be in good health to make the best of things. Not least, your event.
It’s important to be at your best, for example, when you’re getting married. Or if you’re the centre of attention at any other life-cycle event.
There are things you can do that will benefit you on the day (and also at other times, of course).
Good sleep, eating and drinking properly and nutritiously, and exercise are givens.
Let’s focus on a couple of those guidelines.
Food
Apart from the obvious benefits of healthy eating, you may appreciate maintaining a steady weight. If you want to look your best on your big day, you won’t want to slip into that wedding dress you bought/hired six weeks ago, and find that you no longer fit!
The same applies to you, gentlemen, so don’t be too smug!
Drink
Avoiding sugary drinks is always a good one, but alcohol is definitely not to be recommended. However nervous you may be before the ceremony, drinking alcohol is not really the answer. You won’t perform at your best, may even make a fool of yourself and might not remember the special day afterwards.
However, once you’ve fulfilled your role, there’s nothing to stop you having a drink, or even two, afterwards!
Sleep
Regular sleep will help you feel good and also look good. Going to bed around the same time and sleeping seven or eight hours is usually ideal.
You can make this more likely by not using a screen for an hour before you go to bed, ensuring the room is darkened and not having electronic devices (left on) near your bed.
Exercise
The benefits of exercise are well-known. Not only for your well-being, but if you can manage a stroll on the day of your big day (half an hour would do), that would be beneficial.
Stress
The last factor that might spoil your day is stress. It’s natural to be excited, but it can go too far.
One way to avoid excessive stress is to work with reputable, reliable suppliers (whether officiants, caterers, photographers, planners, or whatever). If they do their job properly, that should take a load off your mind.
If you really can’t face the spotlight and the thought of speaking in public terrifies you, there are professional therapists who can help you. (One I’d recommend is Isobel from www.intherighthands.co.uk.)
But remember that everybody is on your side and wants you to shine, so relax as much as you can, and enjoy your day.
by Michael | Sep 21, 2023 | Blog
Wow! Wedding food and drink is a big area to cover! I’ll do my best, but please accept that there are limits to what I can discuss here.
And I am a celebrant, rather than a caterer!
So, bon appetit!
Drink
There are a lot of things to balance up before you decide how to deal with this. At one level, you need to ensure the guests’ basic needs are met. So, if it’s a hot day, jugs of iced water and glasses should be available, especially if the ceremony is outdoors and the guests will be unprotected.
You may be having a ceremony, followed by photos, and then the reception. In this case, you should provide drink (with canapes?) to cover over the gaps. Typically, this would be Buck’s Fizz and a non-alcohol option.
You will have to decide whether all drinks will be at your expense or whether, say, you’ll have a cash bar after a certain time. If you’re having a sit-down meal, you’ll probably arrange for a bottle of wine and one of water to be ready laid out. You’ll probably need to replenish some way into the meal.
If you’re serving wine, it can be a bit of a dilemma choosing a suitable one. Of course, your budget will dictate your choice, but it’s worth opting for a decent wine, rather than the cheapest. Incidentally, you can sometimes afford a more expensive vintage, if you can save by arranging the affair for earlier in the day. That can often be cheaper.
It’s up to you whether you change wines (eg red to white) during the meal.
Food
Canapes? Waiter service? Buffet or sit-down? Number of courses? Menu choices?
These are some of the questions that need to be resolved. Obviously, the number of guests and your budget will play a significant part in your considerations. You will have to choose between nouvelle cuisine, say, and hearty fare. And how spicy would you want the food to be?
A couple of things you may not have thought about:
If you’re inviting children, they are more likely to stay on ‘best’ behaviour, if they enjoy the food. So you should probably offer a kid-friendly menu. Try and avoid drinks and desserts that are sugar-rich and which will send those kids on benders!
You may also want to put the children on their own table(s). Make sure they are not left waiting for their food for too long.
Finally, be aware that you may have to cater to various diets. Of course, there are all sorts out there – not just vegetarian or vegan, gluten-free or piscatorial. Are you going to simplify by offering, say, a meat dish and a meat-free one? Are you going to ask each guest, on the invitation, if they have special needs? If you do, beware. It can get very cumbersome and complex … I’d opt for the simpler solution (but take into account special requests initiated by the guests).
I hope this has been enough to give you some “food for thought”!
