With all the (justified!) obsessive talk about inflation, the short piece in Saturday’s “Money” section of the “Daily Telegraph” may have gone unnoticed. However, the report (with statistics furnished by American Express) contains some horrifying revelations about how much wedding costs have risen since pre-COVID.
Apparently, it used to cost guests an average of £391 in 2019 to attend a wedding. (That’s quite surprising in itself!) Now, they say, this figure has risen to £883. And we’re not talking destination weddings!
It appears that, across the population, £15.6 billion is spent on outgoings such as accommodation, clothes, grooming and travel.
We learn that hair and beauty costs have jumped up 41% per wedding. Spending on outfits have gone up by more than a fifth to £159. This had accounted for £130 in 2019. Accommodation costs have gone up 31%.
Costs are always going to rise, of course, but it really makes accepting a wedding invitation something to think carefully about. And we aren’t even taking gifts into account!
I don’t think there is much we can do about it. As far as inflation goes, we mostly have to grin and bear it, so the same must go for wedding guest costs. I can’t wave a magic wand (I wish I could!) and resolve things. Mutual awareness, empathy and understanding are important.
Couples will have to consider the circumstances for their guests and be accepting if their guests have to duck out or can’t afford the Maserati that might be on the Wedding List! Just as guests may have to make a sacrifice or two to attend the wedding, so the couple must make sure (without going to extremes) that they show their appreciation to those guests who add so much to the whole affair.
A wedding is still a wonderful, memorable event (especially, with a great celebrant conducting the ceremony!).
But welcome to the new tomorrow!
One of the
major flashpoints, when planning a wedding, is the guest-list. The potential
for disagreement is enormous, and it’s as well to be prepared for it.
It’s actually possible to get past it quite successfully, but it may take a bit of give and take first.
It helps to
establish a few parameters before you get into it big-time.
- Who is paying for the affair?
- What is the wedding budget, and how much will be set aside for the reception?
- Who do you have to invite?
- Who would you like to invite?
have a clear idea how much the reception will set you back, you have to do the
maths. If you invite 100 guests, how much will that cost per head? Do you have
that amount available? If not, you’ll have to adjust.
So let’s say
that your supplier quotes you £50 per head for the meal and you have allocated
£2,000 here. That would mean that you can invite 40 people. If your budget was
£1,800, then you can only afford 36. (Does that 36 include the bridal couple?)
important to do these sums before you speak to the person who is bankrolling
the affair. (Of course, it might be the couple themselves.)
You may be
fortunate in that the budget is virtually limitless, and there will be no
restrictions on who you invite. (Some chance!) More likely, compromise will be
if somebody is sponsoring the event for you, you will need to work together
with them. They will understand that there are people that you particularly
want to invite, but there may be some that they
This is where
calm discussion is so important. You don’t want to fall out about it, but the
couple’s wishes should not be trodden underfoot by a domineering mother (say).
If you’re doing
everything yourself, you should not forget to invite a few of your parents’
cronies too (if the budget permits), so that they don’t feel left out on the
A normal rule of thumb is that, as a minimum, close family (it’s down to you to define that – not me!) should be invited, plus a few family friends. Then you can look at who you would like to invite out of choice.
You will also have to decide whether you are inviting plus ones or offspring. (If you invite children, you will have to take into consideration feeding and entertaining them.) Can you be consistent about this, as people do talk (“Did you get an invite to X and Y’s wedding?”).
invite work colleagues? Your boss? How do you invite one colleague but not
another without causing offence?
So, you see,
the guest-list is a bit of a minefield.
I can’t necessarily give definitive answers, as every case will be different. However, I can suggest that clarity is important before you start. Also flexibility. For example, if you’re struggling to invite everyone that you want, can you manage it by saving some money elsewhere? Maybe you can get the venue at a cheaper price. Try holding your wedding midweek, when it’s quieter, or in the afternoon.
Give-and-take is going to be paramount. So start the process early – as soon as you know what your major outgoings (venue, wedding dress and reception) are likely to be. Do your sums. Go into discussions positively and prepared to budge a bit where you can. If you are not paying for everything yourselves, decide what your ideal would be and present a united front.
And check through, before invitations are sent out, that you haven’t forgotten somebody important! (It does happen – I know, to my cost!!)
Although this is a potential area of concern, if you follow these tips, you should manage fine. Then the next thing to ‘look forward to’ will be deciding who sits where!
For any more help, please contact me!