Even in these troubling times, it’s well worth choosing your venue with care. Even if it’s a micro-wedding, you’re going to want the vibes to be right. That means seriously considering where you hold your ceremony.
Don’t leave it to the last moment! Not least because the venue of your choice may well be booked up a year ahead, or even more.
Furthermore, a rushed decision is not always the wisest one.
So take the trouble to do some research.
Starting off
Friends or relatives may be able to recommend a place. So go along and see if it suits you too.
You don’t have to be restricted by convention. You are not limited to a church, the Register Office or even a hotel, if a civil celebrant is conducting the ceremony. Perhaps an iron age fort appeals or a Canal Centre.
Geography may be a major factor too. The point is that, even these days, you may be able to choose an atmospheric or significant site for your big day.
The process
Although consulting venue websites is useful, go in person to see the likely ones. Then you can sense the atmosphere and beauty of the place (essential before you make your decision). Don’t neglect to make an appointment with the events planner before you leave.
Before all else, ensure the venue is available all the time that you will want it.
The big mistake
When you’re choosing your suppliers – be they florists, civil celebrants, wedding planners, musicians, photographers, or whatever – don’t go for the cheapest! Obviously, you have to respect your budget, that’s a given. But you need to go with a supplier that you feel you can trust and whom you want to work with. That may come at a cost, and you may have to try and make savings somewhere else.
The visit
Apart from the surroundings, your chat with the event planner can be paramount. Do you like them? Do they understand your vision? Do they seem to have your interests at heart? Do they seem dependable?
Have a list of questions. These may include capacity and catering, exactly what the hire entitles you to, whether the planner will be on hand on the day, décor and logistics (like parking or microphones), cancellation policy, and so on.
If you find a venue you love (not just “like”!), go for it. If you need to cut a few corners, you can often negotiate a discount depending on when you hold the event.
For example, it’s cheaper to book a venue out of (summer) season (and not Xmas and Valentine’s Day) and to avoid Saturdays or Fridays. Afternoon, rather than evening, can be cheaper too.
Visit several venues (with the same questions), and you can compare.
It sounds like a lot of “homework”, but it’s your big day, and it’s so important to get it right.
Feel free to call me to discuss any of this further.
A Civil Celebrant can play an immense part in the success of a ceremony. But not everybody understands how to get the best from one.
The first misconception is that a civil celebrant is the same as a wedding, or event, planner. No, it’s not!
Wedding Planners
The planner’s job normally includes booking the venue and organising suppliers. Examples include florists, caterers, photographers, make-up artists, musicians, entertainment, and decor. Then they supervise the day itself.
Those are rarely, if ever, the brief of a civil celebrant. Our role on the day is confined to the ceremony only (although that can be responsibility enough!).
Civil Celebrants
People are not always aware that we do more than just show up on the day. One thing a civil celebrant does (in common with the planner) is to put in a shift or two well before the wedding day itself.
The hidden bits
The process usually begins with an initial conversation (pre-COVID, face-to-face or, now, on Skype or Zoom). The idea is to establish a picture of what the client wants (and what is practical) and to see if a working relationship is viable.
Then the civil celebrant will put in research, as a draft ceremony is prepared, and plenty of writing. Once the draft is ready, it will be e-mailed for the client’s approval. Then there’ll be further contact. Tweaks are often made before the final version is agreed.
Well before the big day, the couple will have agreed with the celebrant the exact text of the ceremony. Thus no unpleasant surprises will lie in store. Their dream ceremony is ready.
On the Day
The one part of the day the wedding planner has no control over is the conducting of the actual ceremony. And that’s the celebrant’s big moment.
On the day, our role is to conduct the ceremony. Very occasionally, we are around for other parts (canapes, ‘breakfast’, even the reception). We can be asked to co-ordinate events like a toastmaster, but that is not the job specification of a regular Civil Celebrant.
The bit of the job of a celebrant that the public sees is on the day itself. Ideally, we arrive at the venue in very good time, check all is set up correctly, make contact with the major players (event planner, couple’s family, musicians, photographer, etc.) , meet the ‘team’ (eg Best Man and ushers etc.) and calm the Groom down! If possible, we let the bride know we’ve arrived.
Then we’re in charge of the ceremony. We conduct it from the ‘front line’ calmly, clearly, professionally and with humour (as appropriate). We co-ordinate with the other ‘actors’. We ensure the couple are at their ease. We have to be ready to react suitably to the unexpected (you’d be surprised!), and make the ceremony memorable, enjoyable and special for all concerned.
The public part of what we do only extends to the half-hour (or so) ceremony, plus the hour beforehand. But plenty of homework goes in earlier to produce the desired result.
And that’s what a civil celebrant can do for you!
Feel free to have a chat to find out how a personalised ceremony can work for you.
People often think they understand what a civil celebrant does. One of the problems for us is that they are usually wrong. Mostly, they tend to confuse us with wedding planners.
Wedding Planners
Their job normally includes booking the venue and organising suppliers (such as make-up artists, musicians, the catering and/or entertainment, the decor and supervising what happens on the day).
A civil celebrant doesn’t usually do any of these jobs. Like a wedding planner, our work starts well before the wedding day. However, on the day, our role is to conduct the ceremony. Very occasionally, we are around for other parts (canapes, ‘breakfast’, even the reception), often working as a sort of toastmaster, but that is not the job specification of a regular Civil Celebrant, so I won’t discuss that further.
The one part of the day the wedding planner has no control over is the conducting of the actual ceremony. And that’s where we come in.
Civil Celebrants
The bit of the job of a celebrant that the public sees is on the day itself. We arrive at the venue in very good time – or ought to! –, check all is set up correctly, make contact with the major players (event planner, couple’s family, musicians, photographer, etc.) , meet the ‘team’ (eg Best Man and ushers etc.) and calm the Groom down!
photo: Elwood Photography
Then we’re in charge of the ceremony. We conduct it from the ‘front line’ calmly, clearly, professionally and with humour (as appropriate). We co-ordinate with the other ‘actors’. We ensure the couple are at their ease. We have to be ready to react suitably to the unexpected (you’d be surprised!), and make the ceremony memorable, enjoyable and special for all concerned.
The public part of what we do only extends to the half-hour (or so) ceremony, plus the hour beforehand.
The unseen side
Of course,
there’s a lot to putting together the ceremony in the first place.
It usually starts from an initial conversation (face-to-face or on Skype or Zoom). The idea is to establish a picture of what the client wants (and what can work) and create a relationship.
Then there’ll be research, as a draft ceremony is prepared. Once that has been written and e-mailed for the client’s approval, there’ll be irregular contact. Tweaks are often made before the final version is agreed.
Well before
the big day, the couple will have agreed exactly what will be uttered, and will
have no unpleasant surprises in wait. Their dream ceremony is ready.
So your mind is on your approaching big day? The wedding ceremony is crucial (but you will be in safe hands with your civil celebrant).
However, once that part is over, what happens next?
Don’t fret! If you have hired a toastmaster, they will advise you. As should your (or the venue’s) Event Planner. However, you’ve arrived at my blog and I can offer you a guide to put your mind at ease.
Arrival
You may form part of a receiving line to greet the guests. It will normally consist of the bride’s parents (the hosts), the groom’s parents, bride, groom and, if desired, attendants (in that order). (If it’s a smaller reception, it might just be you.)
This can take quite a time, and it may be preferable to dispense with this – PROVIDED that you (and, possibly, your parents) circulate during the meal. Remember, everybody will want to congratulate you!
The Meal
At a sit-down reception, the bridal party occupy the top table. Traditionally, they should be (from left to right as viewed by the guests): chief bridesmaid, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom & bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother and best man.
There ought to be a table-plan and/or place-cards for guests. Obviously, ensure there are enough chairs available for all!
Thank you
If it’s not too formal, or a buffet, you and your new spouse will circulate, as I’ve suggested, briefly thanking guests for coming. You return to the table for the cake-cutting, speeches and toasts.
Cutting the cake
The bride places her hand over the groom’s and together they cut the cake. (It may be worth cutting it in advance, if the icing is very hard!) Someone else will cut the cake up and distribute it to everybody. (You may want to send some pieces to absent friends, so reserve these.) You traditionally keep the top tier (for the christening of the first child).
Speeches and Toasts
Ideally, they will not be too long! Incidentally, I can offer some tips on presenting (please see my blog: https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/delivering-a-wedding-speech/) .
The bride’s father will toast the couple; the groom replies on behalf of himself and the bride (thanking the bride’s parents for the wedding, the guests for attending and for their presents and toasting the bridesmaids); the best man replies on behalf of the bridesmaids and reads out any messages from absent friends.
At the end
You normally leave first (announced by the best man).
