Your wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your life. Indeed, it should be happy and care-free. But things do go wrong. How much will you let that fact play on your mind?
Suppose the car doesn’t come and collect you? What if you make a fool of yourself in front of all those people? Suppose the florist lets you down? What if something gets forgotten? Maybe the kitchens will have a fire. And so on ad infinitum …
It’s so difficult to avoid wedding day stress.
But can you be ready for it? Can you mitigate its effects?
One key step
You can make it far more bearable with good preparation. If you have organised things well in advance (or maybe you have employed a wedding planner to do this), then you should have no need to worry about last-minute details. You can actually enjoy the day.
Just to depress you, I’d like to point out that, of course, almost anything CAN go wrong. Your car may not collect you on time, it may break down, tremendous traffic – or weather – may hold you up. The venue may have a power cut …
And you know that’s merely the beginning of the list!
You can fear the worst – or anticipate the best. Rather than become totally paranoid, accept that there are certain things you cannot legislate for – but that are highly unlikely to happen. There’s nothing whatever to be gained by spoiling the whole day by worrying about unforseeable events.
That’s not to say that you should be casual or negligent. You are most likely to be safest, if you employ good professionals – whether caterers, celebrants, florists, photographers, event planners or others.
If you have to deliver a speech, there are things you can do to prevent this from becoming a ghastly experience. I really can’t do better than refer you to a couple of blogs I have written on this subject.
It’s worth checking with your suppliers a day or two in advance that everything you have stipulated is in hand and that they know when and where they are expected.
The venue should have a planner who will cover this, but if you have the chance to arrive early, make a visual check of the room(s) . Can you spot anything potentially dangerous, like trailing wires? Is anything missing? Is there enough of whatever you will need?
On the day
It is natural and almost goes without saying that you will be nervous. Whether bride, groom, parent, best man etc., you will have at least a moment in the spotlight as centre of attention. Chances are, you are unused to the limelight.
A bit of adrenalin won’t harm you. And you do know that everybody will be on your side, willing you on.
A good strategy
If you feel like you’re imploding, this may help. Practise this well in advance, just in case. and on the day this will be a great calming exercise: take a few moments out to sit and concentrate on your breathing. Aim to slow it down, but don’t breathe too deeply – after all, it’s not a great idea to pass out!
Simple as that!
A less good strategy
Alcohol is the answer to all problems. Well, no, it isn’t, although, for some, a small amount may settle a few nerves. Getting drunk (“to forget”) is a big mistake and may increase stress (often for other people too!).
If, despite my suggestions, you fear that it will all prove too much for you, then I recommend EFT (or “tapping”), which can be remarkably effective in dealing with extreme cases. Isobel has many years of experience in helping to create confidence in any situation. Reach her at www.intherighthands.co.uk.
If you simply want a bit of reassurance and guidance, then please contact me. I take pride in putting people at their ease on their big day.
The best day of your life really can be just that.