by Michael | Feb 13, 2024 | Blog
Just as there may be flexibility about the roles at a wedding so there is often a little confusion.
Let’s see if we can uncloud the waters. As far as one can generalise, here are my guidelines.
Bride
The star turn – everybody looks forward to the bride walking down the aisle. In essence, looking beautiful and stunning are her main roles at the ceremony. Of course, she may be reciting vows and exchanging rings, kissing the groom and, possibly, signing a certificate, but these are surely not too arduous tasks!
Otherwise, the bride will have a role in welcoming guests after the ceremony and, just possibly, delivering a speech at the reception.
Groom
The groom’s roles are not too taxing either, in truth. He will have to welcome guests as they arrive for the ceremony and liaise with his team (Best Man, Ushers, Wedding Planner and Officiant), as necessary.
The Groom may have an active role to play in the ceremony (again, reading vows, putting a ring on the bride’s finger, kissing her, etc.). but his main task will probably be the speech at the Reception.
Best Man (or Woman)
The main task here is looking after the Groom. That involves carrying out any last-minute tasks for him (that might include simply fetching a glass of water or sorting something with a supplier). It certainly involves putting the groom at ease as much as possible before the ceremony begins.
One responsibility is usually to look after the rings until the exchange takes place.
People tend to look forward to the Best Man’s speech at the Reception. This should be humorous, anecdotal, not over-long, and not too cringe-making or offensive.
Bridesmaids and Ushers (Groomspersons)
These may often be youngsters, and need coaching, but they too should support the couple. The ushers will probably direct guests to their seats. Along with the bridesmaid(s), they will typically be part of the procession (and recession). Ushers may also have to look after presents for the couple.
Parents
The parents’ role is mostly to welcome guests and accept congratulations. Traditionally, the father of the bride sets the Reception off by giving a very short speech. This may include gratitude at finding such a groom and thanking guests for coming, wishing them a wonderful time.
Celebrant
On the day, the celebrant is responsible for the smooth running of the ceremony. They should direct proceedings with dignity, humour and affection.
They should arrive punctually and ensure everything is in place and that the groom is (reasonably) calm.
When all that is in place, then you have a great infrastructure for the big occasion.
Feel free to approach me for more information.
photo: taraflorence.com
by Michael | Feb 6, 2024 | Blog
Let’s set aside cost for the moment, shall we? What (else) is going to make you opt for one venue over another?
It’s important to get this right, as so much will depend on the venue.
Obviously, location, atmosphere, facilities and accessibility are likely to enter into the mix. So , once you’ve narrowed down the field a bit, you should make an appointment with the event planner and pay them a visit.
The questions you ask will depend on your vision for the day. You may need to know whether the venue will be uniquely yours for the duration. What about in-house catering? Can outside caterers come in? What exactly does the event planner offer by way of service? Are the rooms suitable for the numbers you may be expecting?
And so it goes on.
Remember that it’s not only the answers to your questions that matter, it’s your feeling for the place. You should be smitten – and absolutely want to marry there. So, go with your gut.
Additionally, you can be guided by recommendations. Do you know anyone who has marked an occasion at that venue? What was good – and what, if anything, needed improvement?
When you visit, you’ll also need to investigate Ts and Cs as well as the facilities on offer (such as catering). It is a good idea to view the rooms you would be hiring. Will the event planner be available all day on the day? Are the acoustics good, and can the venue provide amplification, if necessary?
So, do your research and visit the top contenders before you decide. Be aware that your chosen date might not be available, so book early.
I repeat that, although budget is obviously a major issue, so is the wow-factor. Make sure you are excited by the prospect of marrying at your particular venue.
If I can help you – or if you’re looking for a civil celebrant to match the venue – don’t hesitate to contact me.
by Michael | Jan 30, 2024 | Blog
It’s really nice to be appreciated!
I recently received this thank-you email, and it made all the work so worthwhile!
“First I would like to
thank you from myself and Allan and family for the wonderful order of service you gave at my brothers funeral.
Your help was outstanding in every way in helping me through the writing of the order of service as I had never had to do this before being the youngest of 6, everyone that I spoke to commented how lovely it was in which you helped celebrate our brothers life and added humour into it with dignity.
Myself and the family have all said that if they were ever asked they would not hesitate in recommending your services.
Many thanks”
AC.
by Michael | Jan 23, 2024 | Blog
Weddings can cost a shedload of cash, of course.
You may well choose to use professionals, and, as their name suggests, they’re going to want paying. It’s not unreasonable, as they will be giving up time and drawing on valuable experience and expertise, not to mention training, to ensure your event is a success. They also offer precious peace of mind …
So how do you save money on your wedding?
One solution is to go down the DIY route, but I do not recommend this. It’s only likely to work if your wedding will be really small. Even then it will take some doing not to forget something along the way.
You might choose to dispense with a few potential suppliers and focus on what may be hardest to achieve. You may have a friend who is an expert photographer (say) and who is willing to shoot the pictures. Even that is risky, especially if they accidentally get something irrevocably wrong.
You can sometimes make savings when booking a venue, if you negotiate. One position of strength is if you arrange your event out of season. Even better, having the ceremony (say) in the morning and the reception in the afternoon.
You can save money by hiring, rather than buying, the groom’s suit or the bride’s wedding dress. What about hiring a wedding planner for the day (if it’s a smaller ceremony) or for a week (for a larger one)?
Get your flowers in season – that’ll save a bit. So will having a cash bar for the reception.
Do your homework, if you’re having a reception. How pretentious do you want the food to be? Do you need silver service? What sort of entertainment do you want to offer?
There are certain areas and suppliers where you shouldn’t compromise (I’m thinking, for one, of your celebrant!). But I hope I have given you a few ideas you can pursue to bring down those expenses.
by Michael | Jan 8, 2024 | Blog
Welcome to my first newsletter of the year! May your year be exciting and full of good health, prosperity and contentment.
I wonder whether you go in for New Year’s Resolutions at all? It’s quite a good idea to reset your targets and aim for new, beneficial challenges. But it won’t work if you set your sights too high, of course. How many gym memberships are taken out this month, only to fade into disuse or even cancellation before the end of winter?
One thing you can resolve to do is to make the best of things and be grateful for what you are receiving.
A beautiful way to do this is by creating a public ceremony. If you’re thinking that this can only be a wedding or naming ceremony, then think again.
You can celebrate other things in life. What about if you receive a windfall? Or someone has recovered from serious ill health? Maybe you can mark an anniversary. Years ending in -0 or -5 are particularly worth celebrating.
Or maybe your wedding vows have become outdated and you want to renew them publicly? Your family may have grown, and you want to include them in a life-cycle ceremony.
All these things are worth commemorating. And one of the joys about them is that you don’t need official input. Not like a wedding or birth, which need to be registered officially.
You can carry out these other ceremonies freely and absolutely in your style.
You may well have no idea how to set about putting together such a ceremony. That’s where a civil celebrant like myself can come in. We will ask you questions – and listen to your answers! – to establish the structure and tone of the desired service. If you have a vision, we’ll look at how we make that work.
Your celebrant can advise you (what texts and/or rituals do you put in? how do you include religious elements (if any)? How can you involve family members and/or friends?)
These are all questions that your celebrant ought to be able to resolve with you.
Then it’s a case of choosing a venue and date and sending out those invitations!
I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you.
Happy New Year!
