by Michael | Oct 5, 2023 | Blog
You may not be aware of the available choices for a wedding service. This applies especially if you”re looking for a stand-out ceremony.
Options
Religious
A traditional wedding may well work for you, and that’s fine.
But it may not reflect the real you.
You may not be comfortable with the religious vocabulary. The content may not excite or move you. It is, after all, fairly standard and immutable. It can be quite lengthy too, which does not suit everybody.
Register Office
These services tend to be one-size-fits-all. They will all be totally secular. Moreover, they’re often delivered by people who are not the greatest at presenting. So these ceremonies don’t tend to be all that special.
Of course, that will suit some people well enough, and that’s fine too.
Civil Celebrant Ceremony
One of the great advantages of these ceremonies is that they can be flexible. They can reflect your personalities,, beliefs and desires.
You can have a religious service, if you want, though, more commonly, people opt for a part-religious service or a secular one. The content will depend on your choices. You can have spiritual readings, favourite poems, and friends or family may actively participate. You can include rituals. Maybe you wish to write your own vows.
The tone can be up to you as well. Formal, semi-formal or informal? Your choice.
Putting all this together can be challenging, and that’s where your civil celebrant can help you. They can advise and guide. They will also be trained in public speaking, so they will present just perfectly.
Incidentally, if it’s a celebrant-led ceremony, you can hold the service virtually wherever you want – including outdoors.
The whole aim is to produce a tailor-made ceremony that is approved by you before the delivery. A perfect service is the goal.
I’d love to help you with all of this. Just give me a call!
Photo: samyaz.sproutstudio.com
by Michael | Oct 2, 2023 | Blog
“Mens sana in corpore sano.” That’s what I seem to remember from my schoolboy Latin. The author was called Juvenal, I recall.
He had the right idea, I think. “A healthy mind in a healthy body.” You need to be in good health to make the best of things. Not least, your event.
It’s important to be at your best, for example, when you’re getting married. Or if you’re the centre of attention at any other life-cycle event.
There are things you can do that will benefit you on the day (and also at other times, of course).
Good sleep, eating and drinking properly and nutritiously, and exercise are givens.
Let’s focus on a couple of those guidelines.
Food
Apart from the obvious benefits of healthy eating, you may appreciate maintaining a steady weight. If you want to look your best on your big day, you won’t want to slip into that wedding dress you bought/hired six weeks ago, and find that you no longer fit!
The same applies to you, gentlemen, so don’t be too smug!
Drink
Avoiding sugary drinks is always a good one, but alcohol is definitely not to be recommended. However nervous you may be before the ceremony, drinking alcohol is not really the answer. You won’t perform at your best, may even make a fool of yourself and might not remember the special day afterwards.
However, once you’ve fulfilled your role, there’s nothing to stop you having a drink, or even two, afterwards!
Sleep
Regular sleep will help you feel good and also look good. Going to bed around the same time and sleeping seven or eight hours is usually ideal.
You can make this more likely by not using a screen for an hour before you go to bed, ensuring the room is darkened and not having electronic devices (left on) near your bed.
Exercise
The benefits of exercise are well-known. Not only for your well-being, but if you can manage a stroll on the day of your big day (half an hour would do), that would be beneficial.
Stress
The last factor that might spoil your day is stress. It’s natural to be excited, but it can go too far.
One way to avoid excessive stress is to work with reputable, reliable suppliers (whether officiants, caterers, photographers, planners, or whatever). If they do their job properly, that should take a load off your mind.
If you really can’t face the spotlight and the thought of speaking in public terrifies you, there are professional therapists who can help you. (One I’d recommend is Isobel from www.intherighthands.co.uk.)
But remember that everybody is on your side and wants you to shine, so relax as much as you can, and enjoy your day.
by Michael | Sep 21, 2023 | Blog
Wow! Wedding food and drink is a big area to cover! I’ll do my best, but please accept that there are limits to what I can discuss here.
And I am a celebrant, rather than a caterer!
So, bon appetit!
Drink
There are a lot of things to balance up before you decide how to deal with this. At one level, you need to ensure the guests’ basic needs are met. So, if it’s a hot day, jugs of iced water and glasses should be available, especially if the ceremony is outdoors and the guests will be unprotected.
You may be having a ceremony, followed by photos, and then the reception. In this case, you should provide drink (with canapes?) to cover over the gaps. Typically, this would be Buck’s Fizz and a non-alcohol option.
You will have to decide whether all drinks will be at your expense or whether, say, you’ll have a cash bar after a certain time. If you’re having a sit-down meal, you’ll probably arrange for a bottle of wine and one of water to be ready laid out. You’ll probably need to replenish some way into the meal.
If you’re serving wine, it can be a bit of a dilemma choosing a suitable one. Of course, your budget will dictate your choice, but it’s worth opting for a decent wine, rather than the cheapest. Incidentally, you can sometimes afford a more expensive vintage, if you can save by arranging the affair for earlier in the day. That can often be cheaper.
It’s up to you whether you change wines (eg red to white) during the meal.
Food
Canapes? Waiter service? Buffet or sit-down? Number of courses? Menu choices?
These are some of the questions that need to be resolved. Obviously, the number of guests and your budget will play a significant part in your considerations. You will have to choose between nouvelle cuisine, say, and hearty fare. And how spicy would you want the food to be?
A couple of things you may not have thought about:
If you’re inviting children, they are more likely to stay on ‘best’ behaviour, if they enjoy the food. So you should probably offer a kid-friendly menu. Try and avoid drinks and desserts that are sugar-rich and which will send those kids on benders!
You may also want to put the children on their own table(s). Make sure they are not left waiting for their food for too long.
Finally, be aware that you may have to cater to various diets. Of course, there are all sorts out there – not just vegetarian or vegan, gluten-free or piscatorial. Are you going to simplify by offering, say, a meat dish and a meat-free one? Are you going to ask each guest, on the invitation, if they have special needs? If you do, beware. It can get very cumbersome and complex … I’d opt for the simpler solution (but take into account special requests initiated by the guests).
I hope this has been enough to give you some “food for thought”!
by Michael | Sep 19, 2023 | Blog
Many people assume that an elopement is very cloak-and-dagger. The bride (or groom) has been forbidden to marry his/her loved one and is locked away. Bravely, the prisoner escapes in the depths of the night and, together with the beloved, somehow goes to Gretna Green. There they find an officiant and then present parents etc. with a fait accompli.
All very exciting and romantic!
It can indeed be like that. However, my experience of elopements is a little different.
No, I haven’t eloped myself. But I have been asked to conduct an elopement ceremony – in fact, two.
In one case, the couple (American) were travelling through Europe on a Rhine river Cruise. They already had their wedding booked (register office) in the States for their return, but thought it would be a lovely thing to arrange a blessing ceremony with me at Cologne, one of the ports of call. It was just to be the three of us, but pretty well a spur-of-the-moment decision. Hardly an elopement, I’d venture to say, although it did offer some of the expected elements.
In the other case, the couple were also American. This time they were travelling for just over a week to the UK (predominantly London). Like the first couple, they had the legal ceremony booked for their return to the US.
They were both very shy and the idea of any kind of public ceremony featuring them was intimidating.
Additionally, unlike the case of the first couple, there was some actual secrecy involved. Relations between them and their respective families were not good, and not all parties were being informed of the match. At least, not until after the register office ceremony.
The event in London would be just for the two of them, with myself as celebrant and a photographer also in attendance. Such a ceremony was something they could both enjoy, feeling relaxed, and we could put together a suitable, unique and beautiful ceremony.
In truth, it was one of the most moving sights I have witnessed, seeing the obvious love radiate between the two of them. They were so grateful and happy. But I don’t know how they fared with their families, once the latter found out the news!
So an elopement doesn’t have to be cloak-and-dagger; it doesn’t have to take place in Gretna Green. It can be relaxed and a delight.
Why not try it?!
I’d be happy to have a chat with anyone contemplating such a move.
by Michael | Sep 11, 2023 | Blog
However you define it, we’ve reached Autumn now. The days are shorter, children are back at – or preparing for – school. We’re on the path towards the dark damp, cold days of Winter.
Sounds depressing, eh? Well, it needn’t be. Especially if you have something to look forward to. Personally, next Summer holds a big birthday for me as well as our silver wedding anniversary. So we’ve booked a special trip, and that prospect will help sustain us through the more miserable days of Winter.
However, you may not be in the same position as me, however. What can you do to bring some light to the forthcoming gloom?
It may not be such a crazy idea to plan and book a special ceremony for yourself. This could be a Vow Renewal or even a handfasting (or both!).
What this could mean is that you pick something that matters to you and mark it with an event. An example might be a wedding anniversary, especially one ending in -5 or -0. Or you might want to celebrate a new arrival into your family (this doesn’t necessarily have to be a baby). Perhaps somebody has recovered from serious ill health. Or it might be that somebody is starting a new job or moving away, and these could all merit a ceremony.
You might incorporate a ritual (or two) in your ceremony. (Your celebrant will be happy to advise you.) That way, if you want particular people to participate, they will be able to do so.
You can also include a favourite reading or two, and have input from folk special to you.
It won’t be like a wedding, where there is paperwork to complete and conditions to comply with. You can relax and do it just as you please. That might mean hiring a venue or doing it in your back garden. The possibilities are virtually endless.
The point is: you (and your celebrant) can put together a meaningful, beautiful ceremony that will hit the mark. This will be something you – and your guests – will really enjoy and remember far into the future.
So you can devote those dark days ahead to planning something worthwhile and unique.
Do have a chat, if this idea interests you.
