by Michael | Dec 4, 2015 | Blog
Before I became a Civil Celebrant, I had assumed that a civil ceremony was pretty much stress-free. It was arranged well in advance, so everybody knew what they were doing. You wouldn’t expect to encounter last-minute ceremonies, would you?
Experience has taught me that this is not always the case!
A last-minute job
Last summer, the family was all ready to go off for a week’s holiday. It was a Friday morning. The suitcases were literally on the doorstep and we were making our way out when the phone rang. I wanted to ignore it, but my wife took it anyway.
Would I be available to lead a ring blessing on Saturday evening (in 8 days)?
I explained my circumstances – I was sorry, but I wouldn’t be in a position to compile something suitable from abroad. I always e-mail out drafts for clients’ approval before I conduct ceremonies, and I am passionate about delivering a professional service. I could make no guarantees in this case.
I therefore gave them contact details of another civil celebrant who might be free, and told them that I’d try and access my e-mails on holiday. If they were still desperate, they could e-mail me and I’d see what I could do on the day itself.
Off we went, and I was able to see my e-mails. Nothing of note. We got back on Friday evening and I immediately checked e-mails again. Not a word.
So the following morning I was free to go out. Returning at lunchtime, there was a message for me. Could I please call them – after 2 p.m.?
It turned out that they did still want my services – with the ceremony due to start in the small matter of five hours!
I guess I wouldn’t be writing this, if there hadn’t been a happy ending!
Suffice it to say that that short phone call gave me an idea (no more than that!) of what was required. I couldn’t send the draft for approval (as it was to be a surprise for the wife, and their e-mail address was shared), and had to take pot luck and write what I judged would be suitable. Fortunately, they loved it and all was well!
The moral
Plan your civil ceremony well in advance and don’t rely on goodwill or chance! Your celebrant will do his best, but you can’t always rely on a happy ending.
by Michael | Nov 30, 2015 | Blog
People often assume that – apart from about a week’s turnaround for a funeral – I always have loads of time to prepare for a ceremony.
I was reminded of that only yesterday when I was approached to do a wedding blessing in nine days’ time!
That in turn reminded me of a bright July day. My family and I were leaving to go on holiday abroad. Our bags were actually on the doorstep when the phone rang. I was tempted to ignore the call, but my wife decided to take it.
It turned out that it was the daughter of a man who had (re)married last year. He had then suffered a massive heart attack and not worked since. His wife, Aretha [not her real name] had nursed him back to health, as well as earning an income. Now he was well again, they wanted to have the wedding party they had never had. He is C of E and she is Catholic, so they wanted their new rings blessed, which is where I came in.
The problem was that they were giving me all of eight days’ notice! (I could not work while I was away and I would only be returning late the evening before the event, so it would be asking quite a lot to prepare a ceremony properly in, effectively, a couple of hours.) I explained this to them and said that, if they could not find another celebrant (I passed a name on to them), I would do it for them, provided I had an e-mail waiting for me on my return.
In the event, there was no e-mail, and, as I was free that Saturday, I went out till about 1.30 p.m. When I came back, there was a message for me, asking me to contact the husband on his mobile after 2 p.m. The job was on after all!
The plan was to surprise Aretha (who had done so much for the husband in the last year). I normally meet with clients in advance, find out exactly what they are looking for, compile the service, e-mail it across for their approval, and make any changes requested. This time, all I knew was the background to the ceremony and that they wanted ‘a little religion’.
There is a happy ending to this story. I managed to plan a ceremony (all of seven or eight minutes long!), and it turned out to be appropriate to a party, where none of the guests had an inkling about the ring blessing. There was a mixture of serious readings and humour that went down well. Aretha was moved to tears, the guests seemed to enjoy it (it was a new experience for them – AND it was not over-long!), and the family clearly appreciated it. A mad rush, perhaps, but it gave me (and, I trust all present) a feeling of real contentment.
Being a celebrant is never boring – and can be such a delight! Just don’t go telling me that it’s always relaxing!
Source of featured image: headstride.co.uk
by Michael | Sep 16, 2014 | Blog
We like – and need – rites of passage. These include baptism, confirmation,weddings, 21st birthdays, and (less popular!) death. They may also include Vow Renewals.
Vow renewals can seem irrelevant to you, unless you’re approaching a significant date or know of someone else who is. So what is the point of them?
Why consider a Vow Renewal?
- You’ve got through a whole year of marriage. You’ve learned how to share, compromise and live together. Well done! Why not mark this achievement in some way?
- You’ve managed five, ten, fifteen or twenty (you get the picture!) years together. Now that’s a real achievement! You could certainly recognise that in company with your friends and relatives.
- Maybe your marriage has been rocky, but you’ve come out on the other side, and you want to re-commit publicly.
- Maybe you married abroad, and would like to share the occasion with your friends over here.
- Perhaps you have acquired a whole new set of friends and even relatives since marrying.
- Maybe the vows you took have become irrelevant and need reformulating and restating.
- You might even simply be looking for an excuse for a celebration!
These are just some reasons to consider having a public ceremony, or Vow Renewal.
Advantages
You can have your ceremony wherever you choose (of course, you may need to get permission, etc.).
You can invite whoever you want and as many people as your budget allows.
You can include whatever you wish in the ceremony – readings, ritual, music, readers, etc. Your civil celebrant can advise and guide you. (Note that you will have the final say)
The tone of the ceremony (light-hearted, formal, etc.) is up to you.
You can include whatever elements matter to you – eg ring blessing, rewritten vows, handfasting, for example.
It needn’t be an expensive ceremony: at a basic level, you will need to pay for the venue (if you’re booking one), the civil celebrant, refreshments (if you’re having any), a new set of clothes, possibly, and not much else.
Examples
I have officiated at venues as different as a Mayfair hotel and a Canal Centre. The Shard has been suggested as a venue, as has Waterloo Bridge and even at sea on the Queen Elizabeth. For a handfasting vow renewal, the inner circle at Stonehenge is an option. And so it goes on …
If you can think of anybody who might appreciate a ceremony of this kind, I’d love to chat to them about it.
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London, or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Jun 3, 2014 | Blog
Before I became a Civil Celebrant, I had assumed that a civil ceremony was pretty much stress-free. It was arranged well in advance, so everybody knew what they were doing.
Experience has taught me that this is not always the case!
No panic, then
As I write this, I am awaiting a call telling me whether or not I am going to be creating and conducting a wedding ceremony. That’s par for the course, you will say, especially as 400 guests are expected, so the clients are likely to be picky!
I was originally contacted about this occasion some six weeks ago. The couple then decided they would make their own arrangements and would not be using me. Fair enough. It’s going to happen occasionally.
Last weekend, they asked if I was still available. With a bit of juggling, I said I could do it.
A couple more days have elapsed with no word from them.
The point is that that ceremony will be taking place in under five days!
Writing a memorable, beautiful wedding ceremony does not happen overnight. It can surely not be left to the last minute!
Well, we’’ll see what, if anything, transpires. (Perhaps there will be an interesting follow-up blog to look forward to!)
But that mentality is evidently not just a one-off.
Another last-minute job
Last summer, the family was all ready to go off for a week’s holiday. It was a Friday morning. The suitcases were literally on the doorstep and we were making our way out when the phone rang. I wanted to ignore it, but my wife took it anyway.
Would I be available to lead a ring blessing on Saturday evening (in 8 days)?
I explained my circumstances – I was sorry, but I wouldn’t be in a position to compile something suitable from abroad. I always e-mail out drafts for clients’ approval before I conduct ceremonies, and I am passionate about delivering a professional service. I could make no guarantees in this case.
I therefore gave them contact details of another civil celebrant who might be free, and told them that I’d try and access my e-mails on holiday. If they were still desperate, they could e-mail me and I’d see what I could do on the day itself.
Off we went, and I was able to see my e-mails. Nothing of note. We got back on Friday evening and I immediately checked e-mails again. Not a word.
So the following morning I was free to go out. Returning at lunchtime, there was a message for me. Could I please call them – after 2 p.m.?
It turned out that they did still want my services – with the ceremony due to start in the small matter of five hours!
I guess I wouldn’t be writing this, if there hadn’t been a happy ending!
Suffice it to say that that short phone call gave me an idea of what was required. I couldn’t send the draft for approval (as it was to be a surprise for the wife, and their e-mail address was shared), and had to take pot luck and write what I judged would be suitable. Fortunately, they loved it and all was well!
The moral
Plan your civil ceremony well in advance and don’t rely on goodwill or chance! There might not always be a happy ending.
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
by Michael | Aug 13, 2013 | Blog
It’s good to be challenged and to learn. That’s one of the bonuses about being a civil celebrant. No two jobs are ever the same.
Just as I was leaving with my family to go on holiday on Friday two weeks ago, the phone rang. We actually had the front door open, and were literally about to depart with our suitcases for the station. I was tempted to ignore the call, but my wife decided to take it.
It turned out that it was the daughter of a man who had (re)married last year. He had then suffered a massive heart attack and not worked since. His wife, Aretha [not her real name!] had nursed him back to health, as well as earning an income, and, now he was well again, they wanted to have the wedding party they had never had. He is C of E and she is Catholic, so they wanted their new rings blessed, which is where I came in.
The problem was that they were giving me all of eight days’ notice! (I could not work while I was away and I would only be returning late the previous evening, so it would be asking quite a lot to prepare a ceremony properly in the time available.) I explained this to them and said that, if they could not find another celebrant (I passed one name on to them), I would do it for them, provided I had an e-mail waiting for me on my return.
In the event, there was no e-mail, and, as I was free that Saturday, I went out till about 1.30 p.m. When I came back, there was a message for me, asking me to contact the father on his mobile after 2 p.m. The job was on after all!
The plan was to surprise Aretha (who had done so much for the husband in the last year). I normally meet with clients in advance, find out exactly what they are looking for, compile a service, e-mail it across and make any changes requested. This time, all I knew was the background to the ceremony and that they wanted ‘a little religion’.
There is a happy ending to this story. I managed to plan a ceremony (all of seven or eight minutes long!), and it was appropriate to a party, where none of the guests had an inkling about the ring blessing. There was a mixture of serious readings and humour that went down well. Aretha was moved to tears, the guests seemed to enjoy it (it was a new experience for them – AND it was not over-long!), and the family clearly appreciated it. A mad rush, perhaps, but it gave me (and, I trust all present) a feeling of real contentment.
Being a celebrant is never boring – and can be such a delight!
Michael Gordon can help prepare and conduct a tailor-made civil ceremony in or around London or, indeed, in Europe.
