Children At Your Wedding

by | Jun 6, 2013 | Blog

If you’re having a civil ceremony, you will have a lot of input into what goes into your big day. You may have less choice when it comes to children.

Firstly, do you invite them at all?

Three answers

There’s no short answer.

1. If you already have your own children, you will probably want to have other children there, assuming yours are going to attend (as surely they must).

2. If you don’t have any of your own, you may well resent the risk of other children spoiling your ceremony.

3. You may not feel able to invite children, because you can’t afford extra guests. For the reception, you may need to bear in mind that children 12 and over will usually be charged full price.

One consequence

If you don’t invite children, their parents may not attend, which is something you must be ready for. So giving plenty of warning (so they can arrange childcare) is important. You also need to be consistent (for obvious reasons!), although young bridesmaids or page boys etc. can serve as exceptions.

Whatever you decide, make sure the invitation is clear.

Making the best of it!

If you do invite children, there are ways to minimize any negative impact they may have.

The ceremony

At the ceremony, ask the ushers to seat those with young children at the end of rows, so that a sudden urgent visit becomes less disruptive.

Maybe you could put a treat (a box of raisins, say, or a party bag) in with the order of service, so the children have something to occupy them for a while.

The reception

You may be able to put on some entertainment for the children – a magician, balloon modeler, for example. If the venue is OK with it (and the weather permits!), you might be able to offer outside games such as Connect4, which can be hired easily enough. If you have a bouncy castle, remember that that will need a responsible adult attendant throughout.

Be aware of health and safety issues – is there an unguarded pond? Are there trailing cables?

The meal

Try and consider children’s tummies when planning their menu. A two-year-old and a twelve-year-old will not want the same food, and probably neither wants the same as the adults are having! High chairs may need to be provided. Some sort of distraction  is worth offering during a potentially lengthy meal (maybe only crayons and a book). Depending on numbers, you may want to group children according to age.

A couple of extra thoughts

A first-aid kit should be available at the venue, but you should arrange to bring plasters, high factor sun-tan cream, Calpol and anti-bite cream too.

Finally, you may like to offer a play tent with (quiet) board games, craft materials or fancy dress clothes; or bubble-blowing equipment. Lego can be a good idea too.

Happy children will mean happy adults, so don’t underestimate these ideas!

Michael Gordon can deliver a tailor-made civil ceremony around London or further afield.

The Civil Ceremony and Social media

by | Jun 4, 2013 | Blog

Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay. But how much of a  role should it play in a wedding and the build-up?

Here are a few thoughts.

Engagement/wedding

Resist the temptation to post the good news of your engagement or wedding date on Facebook until you’ve told all your family and close friends first. It’s a common-sense, tactful thing, and may avoid causing a lot of offence.

Invitations

There’s nothing wrong with using social media for your invitations (e-vites) – it’s a lot cheaper than printed invitations and can still look good. (You can always send printed invitations to your more conservative friends/relatives, if you choose.)

Invitation replies

You need to be able to track these, so you have to be consistent and clear. It may be best not to use social media here (not [quite] everyone has a Facebook account, for example). E-mail is probably safe, but technological problems are not unknown! What if your computer dies? Thus Royal Mail may be the best bet, so ensure your address is on the invitation, even if the invitation is sent via social media.

The big event

It pays to communicate with your guests. You may well be happy with a photography free-for-all. That’s fine.

If you want no photography during the ceremony, however, you can put a note in the programme or post this fact on the wedding website. Most – if not all – people will respect your wishes. ‘Unplugged’ weddings are becoming increasingly common nowadays.

Hopefully, guests who do take shots regardless will, at least, not post these for a few days. (It’s best to go with the flow, if people disregard your request – it’s not worth letting their lack of consideration spoil your big day.)

Of course, people should be welcome to take photos of themselves, if they want.

Afterwards

Do send out ‘thank you cards’ – but not by e-mail or social media. They’ve got to be hand-written.

 

So use social media to help you, by all means, but be tactful and condsiderate about it.