Woeful Weddings

Apr 4, 2022

My last blog was about stress at weddings. It reminded me of a piece I wrote about a year ago concerning nightmare scenarios.

The scenarios were:

  • A fire
  • The groom forgot the ring
  • The bride’s car got lost
  • A staircase collapsed
  • A photographer fell over backwards
  • The Best Man arrived two hours late because of a job interview

(Talk about stress!)

I was asked by several people after publication “what happened next” in each scenario, so I thought I’d put those people out of their misery at last!


This particular fire broke out in the kitchens; we had to evacuate (luckily, it was a warm, sunny day) and wait an hour or so before we could go into the hall and proceed with the ceremony. Could have been much worse!

Forgotten Ring

Luckily, the groom left the ring in his hotel room, which was close to the wedding venue. He was able to go back for it, and got back even before his bride arrived!

Lost Car

No bride, no car, no phone signal; it didn’t look good – not helped by a friend of the groom suggesting that the bride had stood him up! Luckily, the driver eventually found the venue, and we could start (about 40 minutes late).

Masonry issue

A hotel outer staircase that was used for wedding photographs collapsed the day before our occasion, while being used for a photo-shoot. Nobody was hurt, I believe, but there was no option but to postpone our event.

Plunging Photographer

Large pot plants had been placed in the hall where a wedding was to take place. Our photographer was taken by surprise by the entry of the bride, and was evidently not in prime position. He started taking shots, and walked backwards as he did so. The inevitable happened, and he fell head-over-heels. Luckily, there was no damage to him or to his equipment, but a lot of guests made the best of their opportunity to take photos of that photographer!

Delayed Best Man

All was perfectly poised for an outdoor wedding I was conducting. The venue was lovely, guests were all in good humour, bride and groom in great spirits, and perfect weather. Almost all was in place, but the Best Man was missing.

Eventually, the groom shared that the Best Man, Howard, had attended a job interview (successful!), but this had overrun. Then Howard had got stuck in Friday afternoon traffic on the M25. He didn’t turn up for two hours. By then, some guests were the worse for drink (which you can understand!), but the ceremony went well – except that the weather turned in that time, and we had to contend with a heavy downpour!

I hope there’ll be no more sleepless nights now, dear reader!

I’d like to stress that these were the worst things that have happened in my experience of some 300 ceremonies, of which the vast majority proceeded without a hitch!

Do have a chat, and we’ll see about managing a seamless ceremony for you!

photo: neli-prahova (who would NEVER take a tumble!)