When Life gets in the Way of your Big Event

Apr 18, 2017

The time may come when you want to commemorate a big event in your life (or in that of someone close to you). You will probably be marking a milestone birthday or anniversary, wedding, naming, or even a funeral. It’s going to be very important to you that the event is conducted appropriately. In fact, it’s got to be perfect.

And why wouldn’t it be?


Here’s why. Any one of these reasons (plus others) may get in the way:

  1. Somebody insists that everything is done their way only
  2. Money concerns
  3. Differences of opinions about the amount of religious elements to be included
  4. The relevant people can’t agree on the size of the gathering
  5. Or the venue
  6. Or what rituals, if any, are to be included
  7. Or who participates in the ceremony
  8. The date


And so it goes on!


In most cases, give and take may be necessary.

If you feel somebody is trying to hi-jack the arrangements, try and have a talk with them. Explain that others are involved too and would like to participate as well. You’re grateful for what they are doing, but it would be appreciated if the load were shared around a bit. Not everyone will listen to reason, I know, but many people will (if approached the right way).

If money is the issue, there are ways round it. These can range from a reduced guest list or choosing a different venue to arranging your function out of season and, even, in the morning or early afternoon. You may also be able to use your bargaining powers to knock suppliers’ prices down a bit.

If religion is causing problems, you might be able to suggest a secular ceremony with various religious elements included. This could keep everybody reasonably happy.

As for the rituals (if any) and involvement of family and/or friends, you will need someone to co-ordinate the ceremony. This is where a civil celebrant can come in.

Help is at Hand

Your civil celebrant will work together with you by offering ideas and guidance. He can suggest options and, if you explain where you need help, will be delighted to point a way forward.

Although he may not be ordained, he will be able to offer the religious elements, if that’s what you want. He will be happy to include whoever you want to be involved, and offer you some wonderful and apt readings.

Every word of the ceremony that you eventually put together will be agreed by you. There’ll be no unpleasant surprises on the day!

It may take a little ability to compromise, but that end goal of a perfect ceremony will still be accessible. It will be so  worth the effort!