Wedding day stress is to be expected. Of course, it is. However much you may have prepared, you don’t know what might actually happen … Even if you’re using a wedding planner, you can’t quite be sure.
All you can do, when all is said and done, is to ensure you have prepared carefully. Have you covered most eventualities? If you have, the chances are that everything will go smoothly, and there’s no point you getting uptight.
If something does go wrong, there are people who will bust a gut to sort it out for you.
There’s certainly no point upsetting yourself (and others!) by worrying. It is supposed to be your big day, and you do want to enjoy it. Don’t let what might not even happen spoil it.
Be ready on the day
Assuming you have booked and confirmed your suppliers, there are only a limited number of jobs that need to be done on the day. Let’s assume the bride’s hair, nails, make-up and dressing are under control!
Final assumption: you will have done a rehearsal (or talked it through) and you (and your retinue) know what you have to do when you process in at the beginning of the ceremony.
Give your Maid of Honour a small emergency kit (needle and thread, paracetomol, cough sweet etc.) to look after.
If you are not staying at the venue, ensure you leave plenty of time to get there (even if you plan to arrive late!). (More on this subject presently.)
Apart from looking elegant, your sole duty, probably, is to bring the rings and hand them to your Best Man.
You need to arrive early – mainly to ensure (probably, in collaboration with your civil celebrant) that everything is ready for the ceremony, and (with the groom) for the reception.
I had booked a taxi a week before my wedding and reconfirmed the night before. It still never showed up, and I had to book another one with immediate effect. Because I had booked the original minicab for a rather ridiculous hour, it wasn’t an issue. However, that was stress I could have done without!
Best Man/Maid of Honour
Both need to arrive punctually for their respective functions.
The Maid of Honour normally has to reassure and organise the bride.
The Best Man may have the rings already, or may have to remember to get them! Once at the venue, he needs to check in with the venue’s wedding planner (if there is one). The groom may well be early too, and may need a smile and an arm round his shoulder. Of course, the groom may ask you for certain errands. Do them with good grace.
The civil celebrant (if used) should be arriving very early too, so he/she will check that everything is in place for the ceremony. You may be kept in the loop, or not. Likewise, with the reception arrangements.
So the key to a successful ceremony is preparation, first of all. Then it’s usually a case of responding calmly and positively to a mishap.
Odds on, the mishap is not a disaster (although, I admit, one ceremony I conducted was rather interfered with by a [small] fire!). People rally round, and most of your guests accept that things do happen beyond our control.
So what seems awful to you, may be a passing inconvenience to your guests.
The good news is that the majority of mishaps are not even noticed. And actually, a mishap is the exception, certainly not the rule.
So, what are you worrying about?!
For more advice or suggestions, contact Michael.