Nobody claims that putting together your bespoke ceremony is easy. It may come together beautifully, with the minimum of effort and stress, but that is not usually the rule.
However, certain difficulties can be foreseen and thus prepared for. Then they may not seem too daunting. The task can be managed.
In this blog I’d like to concentrate on two danger areas: money and parents. (I appreciate that other people may have other priorities, and I’d be happy to discuss these in a future blog.)
Money
You’ve got to be clear on the budget that is available to you, and settle on this before you go too far. You may need to compromise, if there are limitations to your choices.
You need to decide on the content of your service. How much religion will there be, if any? Do you want a broadly traditional ceremony? Could it be secular, but with a couple of religious elements included? Maybe you’d want a few rituals? Again, you may be able to settle on this with a minimum of give-and-take. Your celebrant can certainly advise and guide you.
Don’t go blithely over-spending. Keep within your budget. If, however, one supplier that you really want to use is a bit more expensive than you had in mind, you may be able to juggle. Find a way to save a bit of money (eg a daytime wedding, a cash bar, seasonal flowers, or whatever), so you can still accommodate your chosen professional.
Parents
You want your parents onside, especially if they are contributing towards your expenses. It’s nice to keep them happy too. But what happens if your desires and theirs are in conflict?
Before you go into battle, all guns blazing, it may be possible to have this out reasonably with them. What exactly are they asking for, and why? Would this be something you can accommodate? Is this something you could, maybe, dilute, but then incorporate? If the folk are demanding a religious service and that doesn’t appeal to you, could you have a basically spiritual service that includes, say, a few fairly generic prayers? Or what about asking the bride’s father (for example) to bless you both as part of the ceremony?
If it comes to it that nobody budges, then go your own way. Have what you want. It’s your big day, after all. What you wish for should be paramount. Just make sure you’ve tried to work through harmoniously, if you can.
Feel free to discuss this with your celebrant. I’d be delighted to hear from you!