The wedding season is fast approaching . It’s exciting. Everybody is looking forward to a happy and successful wedding day, but things don’t always go smoothly.
We have to face up to facts. The causes are sometimes down to you and me.
What are the most important things that the main players at a wedding need to do? What must they avoid?
Weddings can be a time of stress, but common sense and good manners will guide most of us most of the time. But what if things go amiss?
As a civil celebrant myself, I am supposedly in charge during the ceremony. I can usually sort things out, but my influence and control can only extend so far!
So here are a few words of preventative advice for the people in the spotlight on the day:
- Remember to speak to and thank all your wedding guests at some point (they have come to see and support you, after all).
- Keep off the alcohol – at least, before the ceremony! Be aware that there will be plenty of embarrassing photographic evidence to haunt you later in life, if you ignore this counsel. And consider the impression a drunken display may make on your new relatives!
- Much of the stress in the run-up to the wedding day is borne by the bride. Do what you can, especially on the day, to share the load.
- Don’t hide away with your mates; meet and make conversation with your new wife’s friends and even relatives.
- Don’t forget to bring the wedding rings.
- Don’t get rolling drunk, either! You have a speech to deliver effectively and it’s an idea to make the right impression on your new in-laws.
- If there’s a buffet, ensure your bride gets fed (as she’ll inevitably be the centre of attention)
The Bride’s mother
It is good to remember whose big day it actually is – it’s really your daughter’s. Even if you’ve shelled out thousands of pounds. So be there early, be willing to help, but don’t criticise either other people or arrangements. Be prepared to play second fiddle.
The Groom’s mother
As with the bride’s mother, be supportive rather than domineering or critical. Be helpful and open and say nice things to the bride! Don’t try and get revenge for any perceived slight during the wedding planning.
Just like the bride and groom, you need to be sober and in control, not least when toasting the couple’s marriage.
Don’t use the opportunity to get even with somebody who you feel has affronted you during the wedding build-up. Ensure you say nice things about the couple – and keep it short!
The Best Man (or Woman)
- Your role is not fixed, but it probably includes arriving early at the venue and checking that everything – and everybody – is ready to roll. You may have to sort some things out at the last moment, so do your best to be helpful and cheerful! Calming the groom down may be mostly down to you.
- You will have an important speech to deliver. Stay sober (at least, until you have done this!). Ideally, your speech should be funny, but accessible to all. Be sincere too. Avoid bad language, insults, don’t discuss religion, politics or the couple’s family (unless you’re very sure you’re on safe ground). Don’t go on interminably. Do your best to speak slowly and clearly.
If people bear in mind these few, simple guidelines, there is no reason why that wedding should not be memorable – for all the right reasons!
For more advice, feel free to contact me.