by Michael | Oct 21, 2024 | Blog
I’ve been writing my blog (almost!) every Tuesday for a dozen years now. True, most of these have been celebration-related, but I’ve also done quite a few for my funeral website. It’s difficult to be sure, but the amount of effort I put into writing the blogs doesn’t correspond to reach or response. So, although I’m not going to rule out ever writing any more blogs, this will be my last attempt for the foreseeable future.
I’m still going to carry on with my ceremonies for a while longer. But don’t worry! You’ll be informed, if I decide to hang up my cape and gown for good!
It has become a bit harder to find original things to write about. Researching and composing have always been enjoyable, but are not always straightforward. However, I have enjoyed the contacts I made, whether client or celebrant or supplier.
Having a sense of humour is a very important asset for the successful celebrant. A thick skin has proved useful on a couple of occasions too! I have met some wonderful people, but also some who were, let’s say, hard work. Among them, a couple of bridezillas!
Most of the ceremonies I have conducted have been joyous, spiritual events. But not all the weddings I have been booked for were successes! I can think of two which fell short. In one case, the groom was caught in flagrante delicto a week or so before the wedding! The second example was even more tragic. The wedding itself turned out splendidly, but, before they left for honeymoon, the bride learned of the groom’s repeated and prolonged infidelities. The marriage didn’t go well …!
What has also amazed me is how much I am (sometimes) taken for granted. People make last-minute changes, but don’t think to inform me. (I’m only the person who’s totally exposed when things go wrong …!)
I’ve been privileged to work with some wonderful people and in some fabulous venues. I’ve been sent abroad – Cyprus was a revelation to me. I should also have conducted a wedding in Lisbon, but COVID put paid to that, unfortunately. I also had a delightful time in Guernsey, conducting a mixed-faith wedding. All expenses paid, of course. (I think Guernsey counts as ‘overseas’?)
So perhaps you can understand that I am not in a hurry to leave this work behind. Now that blogs have become a bit of a chore, I intend to focus on the areas that I enjoy more. I’m not ruling out further blogs, but I’ll write them on my terms.
To those who have followed and supported me over the past decade or so, a warm and hearty “thank you”. And remember, I’m still here, if you want to chat.
photo: Matt Penberthy
by Michael | Oct 15, 2024 | Blog
It seems pretty obvious that you want to enjoy your big day, whether it be wedding, Vow Renewal, handfasting, naming or whatever. You’re most likely to do so, if you’re in good physical and mental shape.
It’s not as hard as it might seem to get fit for the big day.
So what can you do to ensure you’re at your best when it matters?
Essential Elements
Regularly eating nutritiously (and exercising) will benefit you. I’m not going to spell out what I mean by “nutritious”, as that would be the subject of at least one other article! But you can easily do some research to find out what suits you best.
One side-effect of healthy eating should be that your weight will be fairly stable. That’s clearly advantageous when you buy/hire a dress/suit a few weeks before the event. You want it still to fit when the big day arrives!
Alcohol is best avoided in the run-up to your big event. Apart from the effect over-indulgence may have on your features, you don’t want to start your occasion with a hangover.
In fact, avoid alcohol on the day until you’ve completed the main tasks. That way, you can be compos mentis when it matters – and also be able to remember the event in the future!
Sugary drinks will not be beneficial to you, either. They build you up and then let you down.
Another given is good sleep. Again, there can be unwanted physical effects of poor sleep. Moreover, you don’t want to be below par for your special occasion. Certainly, on the eve of your big day, you should go to bed quite early and try and get 8 hours sleep or so. Avoid i-Pads or phone screens for about an hour before you switch out the lights. Ensure that your bedroom is darkened and avoid electronic devices near your bed.
Exercise is also essential, especially if you want to avoid your weight spiralling. It’s also a good idea to go for half an hour’s walk, if you can spare the time, earlier in the day of your event.
Finally, stress is an important factor. A little is not a bad thing, but too much can really spoil the day for you.
One useful way to reduce stress is to employ reliable, professional suppliers (whether officiants, photographers, planners, caterers, florists or whatever). If you can rely on them, that will be a weight off your mind.
If it’s all too much for you still, then try professional help. I can recommend Isobel (www.intherighthands.co.uk), who can treat nerves and the like (remotely or in person) with various therapies including EFT.
Just remember that everybody is on your side and wants you to shine, so relax as much as you can, and enjoy your day.
Feel free to contact me for a non-obligation chat.
by Michael | Oct 7, 2024 | Blog
Keeping cheerful is what it’s all about, really. Especially now we’ve certainly reached Autumn. The dark, cold days and nights of Winter can be an attraction for some, but are not relished by many.
It’s easier to keep cheerful, if you have something to look forward to. We’ve booked our springtime holiday, so we’ve ticked that box. Maybe you’ve got a holiday lined up too.
Or maybe you’re looking for another way to cheer yourself up.
I have an idea, though it’s not the obvious one, perhaps.
Why not book a life-cycle ceremony for yourself or a dear one?
This could involve you deciding to mark something that matters with a ceremony. This could take the form of a Vow Renewal and/or a handfasting.
The event could be an anniversary (especially, after 5, 10 years or a multiple thereof). It could be a new arrival (not necessarily a baby). Maybe it’s a new job or recovery from ill health. Possibly, somebody is flying the nest.
If you’re not having a wedding (or a death), then you do not need to notify the authorities. You can have the ceremony that you want – chat to your celebrant about this – in the venue that you desire. And no legal paperwork required.
As for the ceremony, you might incorporate a ritual (or two). You can have people you want to be involved playing a part in the event. Why not include a favourite reading?
You can build your own, unique, service.
The point is: you (and your celebrant) can put together a meaningful, beautiful ceremony that will hit the mark. This will be something you – and your guests – will really enjoy and remember far into the future.
So you can devote those dark days ahead to planning something worthwhile and unique.
Do have a chat, if this idea interests you.
photo: www.lyndseygoddard.com
by Michael | Oct 1, 2024 | Blog
Have you just got engaged (congratulations!)?
Have you recently decided to get married? Have you thought about what you need to do? Is the clock ticking?
Wouldn’t it be useful to have a list of what you need to do – and a suggested deadline for carrying it out?
That’s what I’m offering in this blog. This is a version of the necessary countdown from my book “Your Wedding Guide” (by Michael Gordon!), published on Amazon. (For less than £5!)
One Year before
- Book your venue
- Give formal notice of marriage (to the church or register office)
- Choose your team (Best Man or Woman, bridesmaids, ushers)
- Decide on the number of guests to be invited
- Book your photographer/videographer
- Book your civil celebrant and/or priest
- Start talking to your florist
- Book your entertainment (DJ, band, musicians etc.)
- Order your wedding cake
- Look for wedding clothing (bride, groom, bridesmaids etc.)
- Organise transport (if relevant)
6-9 Months before
- Choose your wedding dress
- Buy your wedding rings
- Order invitations
- With your celebrant, work on an ‘order of service’
- Choose a gift list
- Book hair/beauty appointments
- Reserve accommodation for guests, if appropriate
- Book your honeymoon (including passports, visas, inoculations etc.)
3-6 Months before
- Organise hen/stag nights
- Select wedding music/book a band
- Send out invitations
- Organise the printing of order of service sheets
- Confirm all bookings
6 Weeks before
- Go over final details with your venue
- Write speeches
- Finalise guest list and draw up a seating plan
1 Week before
- Arrange collection of hire outfits
- Reconfirm suppliers (florists, photographers, musicians etc.)
- Start packing for your honeymoon
1 Day before
- Enjoy some pampering
- Have an early night
The Day itself
- Ushers and Civil Celebrant should arrive 40 minutes before the ceremony
- Bridegroom and Best Man 30 minutes before
- Bridesmaids and mothers 10 minutes before
- Bride 5 minutes before
There! What could be simpler?!
To chat about this further, just contact me.
by Michael | Sep 17, 2024 | Blog
Deciding whether you need certain suppliers for your wedding can be a conundrum. Of course, you have to pay them a lot of money, but they do offer peace of mind. That applies particularly to Wedding Planners.
Let’s see if we can unpick this a little.
General
You’re likely to be looking at a wedding planner, if you’re considering a large or largeish ceremony. (How large is “large”?!)
If you’re planning a micro-wedding, you will probably be doing everything yourself, and keeping it simple, so can do without the planner.
Furthermore, if your wedding will take place at a hotel or manor house, there will probably be an on-site planner. If you’re OK with them, then they will probably be able to offer what you need, so no need to go to an external source.
One thing that is very difficult is putting a price on the planner’s work. They may well seem expensive, but, depending on the services you book, will probably be working hard for their fee.
Advantages
You don’t need to book wedding planners for three months (say) at a time. Some can offer their services for a week, and some for the wedding day only. Prices will obviously reflect this.
In the long term, a wedding planner may actually save you money, as they have a list of trusted suppliers to draw on, and may therefore be able to reduce the costs for you.
You may need to hunt around to find a planner who understands your vision, so don’t necessarily go with the first you find.
It may be worth considering a planner if you’re using a dry-hire or marquee wedding.
A good planner will have experience and wisdom to fall back on. They can give sound advice and offer ideas, if desired. They have a feel for what will work best.
The important thing is that they are there to take the stress off you. It’s down to them to do the worrying, not you!
Depending on the scale of your event, I would certainly recommend at least giving thought to employing a wedding planner. I’ve met some excellent ones in my celebrant work.
photo: taraflorence.com
by Michael | Sep 3, 2024 | Blog
It’s great to be able to celebrate in these trying times. It’s lovely to mark a rite of passage. These are reasons enough to celebrate a Naming ceremony. (Not to say that we should not embrace other ceremonies, liked mixed-faith services, Vow Renewals, Handfastings etc.)
Who Needs a Name?
A naming ceremony can be held for anybody, including an adult. Someone may be joining a family; they may not have had any kind of ceremony (eg christening) earlier on in life, but want one now; or a non-religious naming simply wasn’t an option back then.
It’s more commonly thought of as applying to children, though. Again, it is an exciting alternative to the Church service. You can be creative and involve family members and even friends.
How to Mark the Event?
Have a chat with your celebrant, and you can see what is available to you. You probably don’t want a long service, as the star of the show may turn grumpy!
You can have what you want included, though.
Why not include music, if you want that? You may choose readings from favourite authors/poets, You can involve special people as readers. There may be rituals that you choose to include. You can have some wine or bread (but don’t give any to the baby!). Why not have a Petal Shower?
One nice touch is to include any godparents, and they can make a formal promise to do their best for the child. In fact, the whole gathering can be invited to say something of that kind.
Remember, you don’t need to worry about any legal readings etc. – this ceremony is purely voluntary. You can hold it wherever you want (at home, in a hotel, in a garden, etc.) and can be as big or small as you want it.
Your celebrant will be glad to tell you more.
