Nobody relishes being classed as a “bridezilla”, but there do seem to be a few around …!
As a civil celebrant of some seven years’ standing, I have experienced one or two in my time! However, I’m glad to say that they have been the exception, rather than the rule.
What is it?
A bridezilla is basically somebody who is totally self-centred. They are only concerned with their own aspirations and desires.
An example
I came across a fine one a few years ago.
I had received an enquiry about a wedding in Essex, which I was available to do. We needed a discovery conversation to see if we could work together.
The lady concerned chose a Skype call, and it was all set up. Unusually, she conducted it on her own. I wasn’t particularly enamoured of her, in truth, but brides are entitled to be demanding, and it looked like I would be able to offer what she wanted.
After a while, I saw a man slinking around in the background, and I asked her if that was her intended. Indeed, it was. So I asked her if she’d like to invite him to be part of our conversation.
“Oh, no,” she responded, “He’ll do what I tell him. This is my wedding.”
I wasn’t impressed. Needless to say, there wasn’t any future in our collaboration!
A different example
One other experience comes to mind. By contrast to the Essex wedding (if it ever took place!), I was invited by the groom to come over to his office discuss how we might do the wedding.
I seemingly ‘passed the interview’, as I was next invited to their home to meet the bride. Their home turned out to be in a close off London’s Bishop’s Avenue. (Some will now realise that we are talking serious money here.)
The groom was delightful; the bride rather unsmiling, although she was pleasant enough. It became clear that she had OCD tendencies! One thing that I did not expect was for her to record me reading aloud, and send the recording off to her parents for approval.
When I got the job, and I had written the final draft, I had to go over again for a rehearsal, where every detail was checked and refined. The bride was even more unsmiling this time!
I could understand that she wanted her society wedding to be perfect, but this was nothing compared with what I saw at the weekend of the wedding.
The day before, another rehearsal had been arranged, and we got through this, even though the bride was showing real signs of stress. She found fault with most things, and, when her groom was unwise enough to intervene in the interests of fairness, she turned on him quite viciously.
An hour or so before the ceremony, I was invited to their suite. The bride seemed to be at war with the world. Almost everybody was the recipient of her tongue (I got away with it quite lightly!), but the blame for everything was laid at the door of the groom.
She shouted at, and humiliated, him in front of make-up artists, florists, myself, and all and sundry. Certainly, had I been the groom, I would not have married her!
In the event, the day went smoothly and beautifully, and she was able to enjoy the event (and let others enjoy it too!).
Dealing with Bridezilla
Once again, I acknowledge that weddings are stressful for anybody. You want to make a great impression and have a fabulous day. You engage a team of people to collaborate, and depend on their skill and professionalism. Things can go wrong (although they may be resolved seamlessly), but don’t necessarily matter at all. (Except to a Bridezilla.)
I escaped the worst of the maelstrom by showing calmness and confidence. (Not to say I wasn’t nervous, though!) I didn’t interfere in what didn’t directly concern me, and had to let the bride blow her top as and when.
I do think it was a pity that the bridezilla probably spoiled the wedding for the groom (certainly, the run-up) by being so demanding and nasty. However, as far as I know, they are still married, so there is probably a happy ending to this story after all!
If you know anybody who might like to work with a consummate professional for their big ceremony, please send them my way. But think twice, if they’re a Bridezilla!