In the majority of cases, the bride and her family are the driving force behind the wedding arrangements. In some cases, the groom is invited to share his opinion and, perhaps, rubber-stamp a few details. Many grooms prefer it that way too! But usually, the groom is a mere bystander, totally reliant on the ladies.
However, involving the groom in certain areas, as well as being psychologically tactful, can actually play to his strengths and bring real benefit.
I suggest that he can play a part in the following areas:
Source: www.polkadotbride.com
Clothing – this is a dangerous one, I confess, as a groom’s dress sense is not always impeccable, as my wife will tell anyone willing to listen. However, the groom should be allowed to choose what he (and the ushers) will wear (even if judicious guidance may possibly be volunteered!).
Drinks – probably safer ground here. The groom could be put in charge of the bar menu (as long as he doesn’t sample too enthusiastically – albeit in the interests of science, of course!).
Activities – the groom may have some useful input into activities that you might want to offer at the reception. It could be entertainers, magicians, photo-booths, or whatever.
Theme – you are presumably intending to spend the foreseeable future (and perhaps your whole life) with your partner. Why not see if you can’t work together and come up with a theme for the day? The groom may be surprisingly creative. (Or not.)
Music – this is a very important area at most weddings, both at the ceremony and at the reception. The groom is likely to have his thoughts and wishes about this, and should be part of the decision-making process.
Photography – the groom should be involved in planning discussions with the photographer/videographer. I’m not just talking about poses but also who is going to be snapped/filmed.
Transport – if you are splashing out on a special car to take you to and from the ceremony, perhaps it could be the car of the groom’s dreams?
Basics – Flowers, menus, decoration, dresses – all these are the domain of the bride’s side. However, I think the groom must have a say in the budget, the choice of venue, the guest list and the type of ceremony and celebrant. The areas mentioned above are up for discussion. Unless the groom really chooses to opt out altogether (surely not on the biggest day of his life?), he should be able to play a part in the big decisions. His opinion may not always coincide with the bride’s or her family’s, but it is his wedding too. That said, there may have to be some give and take and (polite) bargaining too!
Based on an idea by Mike Staff of Michigan Wedding Planning & Ideas.