Luxury London Venues (ii)

Luxury London Venues (ii)

After my first piece on the subject, I am continuing my trawl through the luxury London venues (well, someone has to do it!).

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I paid a visit to the Ritz Hotel. My expectations were high, I confess.

The reception I received was extremely friendly, although the elegance and opulence of my surroundings took my breath away! I was pleasantly surprised how quiet the building was, despite fronting on to Piccadilly. The decoration of the rooms is stunning, particularly in the part that, though only belonging to the hotel for about 10 years, is actually the oldest.

The Ritz has three relatively informal rooms for smaller gatherings and one that takes about 75. One of the small rooms overlooks the Ritz’s own garden (I didn’t even know they had one!) and Green Park. The rooms cannot be said to be under-stated, and the ceilings are amazing!

My visit certainly didn’t disappoint.

Moving to Knightsbridge, my next port of call was The Berkeley. I’m not sure it actually announced itself with a sign outside, but perhaps it doesn’t need it!

 

I was immediately struck by the service. Someone is employed to greet everybody entering the hotel and offer them help. As the hotel proved a little labyrinthine, this was welcome!

This hotel too is being refurbished (January – March 2017), although it looked in excellent order to me! It has a ballroom, currently seating 100-180, which will be extended, and will accommodate nearer 220. As a celebrant, I was relieved that a microphone and built-in speakers are available as part of the package.

The hotel has its own recommended suppliers, but, if the client prefers to bring someone in from outside, this is not an issue.

This is a hotel with considerable style.

By contrast, I went a little out of London (Elstree) to visit the Village Club Hotel. This is a very modern building with little of the character of the two others. However, it has its own atmosphere, and modern facilities (and, not least, free parking).

Flexibility is the watchword, seemingly. The ballroom can fit in 180-200 maximum, but divides up, so smaller numbers can be accommodated. There is a terrace outside, which is available. There is also a reception area, as you come in, offering a private bar.

The hotel will provide catering and the like, but, subject to certain conditions, welcomes outside suppliers.

There are also smaller rooms that may suit cosier affairs.

As your ever-obliging civil celebrant, I plan to submit one further review, and I hope to be offering useful service.

 

Wedding Count Down – twelve months

So you’ve got engaged – congratulations! But don’t sit back! It’s time to start the wedding count down.

There’s more to do than you’ll expect. To keep it as stress-free as possible, I recommend that you start planning at least a year before the event.

 

If you put things off, you’ll soon find that you’re under pressure – and possibly making the wrong decisions.

Don’t be impulsive, although you should go with your heart to quite a degree. Wherever possible, follow recommendations. Visit suppliers and certainly the venue, so you can get a feel for them. Take the opportunity to ask questions.

Here are some of the things to do:

As early as possible

  • Fix your budget
  • Decide on the type of ceremony you want (full religious; totally secular (Register Office); mainly religious, non-religious or part-religious (Civil Celebrant))
  • Book your venue
  • Book your florist, cakemaker, transport, caterers, musicians, entertainers, photographer/videographer
  • Book your minister, registrar and, of course, civil celebrant.
  • Draft a guest list
  • Choose your team (bridesmaids, ushers and Best Man)
  • Start looking for your wedding dress
  • Organise wedding insurance

 

Six months before

  • Buy your wedding rings
  • Buy your bridal lingerie and shoes (and wear them for dress fittings)
  • Book a hairdresser and make-up artist
  • Choose outfits for the groom, best man and ushers
  • Order your stationery
  • Book your honeymoon – check passports are valid. Do you need any vaccinations?

 

Three months before

  • Confirm ceremony details (including [celebrant] order of service and wedding music )
  • Send out invitations and gift list
  • Discuss menu and drinks with caterer
  • Have initial dress fitting
  • Buy gifts for Best Man, ushers and bridesmaids
  • Plan your hen/stag parties

 

My next blog will take you through the month before your wedding, so don’t miss it! However, if you can’t wait, why not e-mail me and I’ll gladly send you my Wedding Countdown Checklist, which will tell you everything in one document?

Less traditional venues

Less traditional venues

So you’re not going down the church route for your wedding? Maybe you’re not sure about holding your ceremony in a restaurant or hotel? There’s good news! There are less traditional venues available, and they can be wonderful!

Whereas you might choose the Queen Mary II (if you have a large budget!) or The Shard, your back garden might lend itself perfectly to your event. You may prefer to hold the event up Mount Snowdon or in a local aquarium. The London Eye may beckon, or else the seashore. Perhaps a medieval barn. Maybe a foreign clime attracts …

I know of people who have celebrated a naturist wedding, held weddings underwater and even while abseiling down some monstrous crag. (Quite relieved that I didn’t get to conduct those, actually!)

The world is potentially your oyster!

Advantages

Freedom to choose a place that means something special to you is a reason to go a little less traditional. You may also like the opportunity to select a venue that reflects your personalities. That could be a prehistoric site, a barn or a  battlefield for history buffs.

You will almost certainly be choosing premises that don’t hold a licence for weddings. What that means is that you will have to go to the register office to get legally married first. You can go down together (make an appointment first!), in jeans, with two witnesses and get legally married a day or two – or even an hour or so – before the ceremony of your choice. Then you can really relax and enjoy your ceremony. You are secure in the knowledge that the legal bits have been dealt with, and now it’s all about celebrating!

Disadvantages

Depending where you choose, you may have to organise most things yourself (or pay a wedding planner to do so). This may include arranging the catering and decorations, PA system, signage, entertainment. Then there’s the celebrant, photographer, florist, and the like, which you’d expect wherever you hold your event.

Correen & Steve Farnborough Canal Centre

Outdoor ceremonies?

A lot of people like the idea of an outdoor venue. Yes, you have to take into account logistics and health and safety, but you can let yourself be bounded only by your imagination. Well, by practicality too.

You can select a place that really means something to you. For example, I have conducted ceremonies at Old Sarum (Iron Age castle), a canalside grove and at Stonehenge. The atmosphere was unique and made the event even more special, and that was where the couple absolutely wanted to be.

Things to consider

Don’t forget to ask permission from the relevant landowner before you start organising things.

Weather is going to be a major unpredictable factor, especially in Britain!

Considerations should include:

  • availability of protection from the elements (sun, rain, cold and heat),
  • accessibility (mud, car parking, signage to the relevant area, distance to the reception and arrangements for getting there),
  • health and safety (no trailing wires),
  • seating (for, at least, disabled guests),
  • toilets,
  • PA system,
  • potential ambient noise,
  • warning/inviting neighbours, etc.
  • catering (including providing water on hot days).

So don’t go rushing into this without thinking it through. There can be nothing more magical than a beautiful ceremony in the most wonderful setting – but are you sure you can achieve the results you want?

Given time and sensible planning, you really can achieve your goals. Just be aware that it will call for hard work.

However, the rewards may be so stunning …

 

Same-Sex ceremonies

Are same-sex ceremonies actually so different from heterosexual ones?

They share the same obstacles and challenges – and rewards.

You may relish the process of preparing for your big day – or you may struggle with it. With the right preparations – however you may be celebrating it – your big day should be a delight, bursting with love, benevolence and happiness.

Sure, there are a few differences of detail, but the principles are the same or similar.

So let’s talk about weddings.

Challenges

 

  • There can be nothing more challenging than your family! If they oppose your marriage, you can be in deep water, especially if they try to pressurise you.
  • Choosing and obtaining the right suppliers is important, but can be difficult.
  • Sorting out the invitations and venue can also be an interesting task!

Solutions

Let’s take a look at these, and see how we can deal with them.

Family

It may be that your family refuse to accept or recognise your partner. If you are closely attached to your family (they may even be paying for your wedding!), you may not want to make waves.

However, it is not they who will be living with your partner, but you! The ceremony is about you, not them. The bottom line is that it is your wedding and your big day. It is unfair for them to impose their choices upon you. Especially, for such an important event.

Of course, you should invite them to meet and get to know your partner, preferably informally. If the charm offensive doesn’t work, then think about asking your officiant to have a word. If it’s a religious ceremony, and your priest is already well-known to the family, then he may well start from a position of respect and can help smooth over the problems.

The ceremony itself may prove a sticking-point. You may not be allowed a religious service in a church, say.  However, all is not lost because a civil celebrant can conduct a religious service all the same. Or a part-religious one. Or, indeed, a non-religious one. And because a civil ceremony is not formally structured, you can have your choice of participants, as well as readings, rituals and music.

You may be able to explain to, or show, the disapproving relative(s) that the service will in fact be spiritual, memorable and delightful. Better still, you may be able to invite them to read something (even of their choice!) at the event. That way, you can show how much you value them.

Suppliers

There’s nothing out of the ordinary to be said here, as  your sexual orientation shouldn’t enter into it. You are likely to need catering, photography, flowers, a celebrant, a cake, maybe a limousine, entertainment (a magician, a DJ, a photo-booth etc.). There have been some recent, notorious cases of suppliers refusing to serve same-sex couples, but you can only feel pity for such intolerant people. Move on. There are plenty of others who will serve you excellently.

You need to take your time and do your research. Recommendation, websites, personal visits are all better than taking pot luck with Google. I have more advice on this subject in a blog: https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/how-to-avoid-wedding-rip-offs/

Venue

I have also written on this topic (please see https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/the-venue-of-your-dreams/), but here too you need to get in early, do your research and ensure, if possible, that you visit. The visit will allow you to get a feel for the atmosphere of the place. Crucially, you’ll be able to ask the event co-ordinator questions.

The jury is out on this one, but it may be worth checking that the venue has no problems with gay ceremonies.

The guests

The guest-list and (potential) table-plan is almost always a sticky issue for any wedding. Your budget must be adhered to and, most importantly, you and your partner must be in harmony over this. Ideally, so will your families (especially if they are bankrolling the event!). You may need to be very diplomatic …

Conclusion

So, in general, a same-sex and a heterosexual ceremony will differ very little. The officiant will need to check  with the couple about the terms he/she will be using. Will it be “bride and bride” or “groom and groom”, and will the couple at the end be announced as “Mr & Mr X” or “Mrs and Mrs Y”? The wording of some of the readings may have to be changed, but, otherwise, a same-sex ceremony is basically the same as a heterosexual one.

Absolutely nobody needs to be put off from arranging a same-sex ceremony!

 

Mixed-faith ceremonies

Mixed-faith ceremonies

Hurrah for the rise of mixed-faith ceremonies!

People are beginning to realise that weddings, naming ceremonies, and even funerals, do not have to be confined to either the full religious or the totally secular. There really is a middle ground.

More and more people are marrying outside the church (or synagogue, temple etc.). In 2011, 59.3% of the population considered themselves Christian, which leaves a lot of people who don’t. Moreover, 25.1% professed no religion at all.

 

Did you know…?

Interestingly, only 30% of weddings in 2015 were celebrated in a place of worship. Of the remaining 70% who opted for a civil ceremony, some chose the register office, but most preferred approved premises. The latter mostly meant hotels (42.8%) followed (11.6%) by corporate and event spaces.

So people are voting with their feet, as it were.

Why the rise of part-religious ceremonies?

Of course, a number of churches will not marry a couple if they don’t comply with certain conditions. A divorcee may not marry in a Catholic church. So the only way these people can have a religious (or part- religious) service is to use a civil celebrant.

The same applies for people who may prefer a secular service, but who want to respect the wishes of parents, say. They’d therefore like a few (possibly, minimal!) religious elements.

In a similar way, some couples will choose to include a religious element or two as a gesture to guests who are religiously active.

More commonly, however, people of mixed faith may want to embrace and celebrate both their religions and cultures. A civil ceremony will allow just that.

Mixed-faith

I have been privileged to offer a number of couples the opportunity to pick the elements from two religions that they want to include and share. For example, we have had the bride circle the groom (multiple religions), the groom has stamped on a glass (Jewish) and both have “jumped the broom” or undergone handfasting ceremonies (pagan), and we have drunk from the Loving Cup (a variation of a Christian ritual).

So there are a goodly number of reasons why the trend for civil weddings (and celebrations) is rising.

To find out how I, as a civil celebrant, can help you, please get in touch with me for a non-obligation chat. I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Featured image courtesy of Philippa Gedge photography.