Marriage for the more Mature
People tend to marry later than they used to. There are many reasons for this, but, come what may, the bride and groom are likely to be more mature nowadays.
Reasons for marrying later
Quite often, late marriage is for financial or career reasons. Maybe the couple want to put off having a family. Or, of course, either or both may be divorcees or widows/widowers, returning for another stab. Other people believe they shouldn’t marry until they are ‘sure’ that the relationship has a good chance of lasting or they simply lack confidence.
Gay couples in a civil partnership are increasingly looking to convert their legal status to marriage, and many established pairs are therefore taking advantage.
Things to remember
There will obviously be no basic difference between a wedding for youngsters and one for oldsters.
For a full religious ceremony (provided it’s permitted), you have the usual options of church/synagogue, etc., and for a secular ceremony there is the register office (which guarantees the compulsory legal words).
For a less standard – personalised – ceremony (that would be additional to the registrars’ service), you have the option of a civil ceremony.
Civil Ceremony suggestions
The beauty of civil ceremonies is that you can incorporate elements of your choice that reflect your personalities and beliefs, so each service will be unique.
That means that there are no ‘hard and fast’ rules; merely, suggestions. However, as with all my clients, I would expect to have a preliminary discovery conversation. Assuming we feel happy to work together, I send over drafts for approval.
The service
The areas I am likely to cover include music, rituals and readings.
- There is no reason why older couples can’t enjoy the same sort of music as youngsters (if that’s their choice). They may choose the same rituals (a Unity Candle is always lovely – but older pairs may have families they want to involve, so this ritual can be expanded to include offspring etc.). Either age group may decide to include the offering of a gift, such as a red rose, to their parents during the ceremony.
A good celebrant ought be able to supply suitable suggestions.
Of course, some rituals (such as ‘jumping the broom’) may be less advisable for more mature couples!
- There’s no reason why age should prevent couples from writing and/or reciting their vows or having the rings blessed.
- Readings can (should!) fit in with the couple’s desires, and many are not age-specific in any way. However, some are suitable for more mature couples.
One thing is for sure: a wedding for the more mature may be every bit as beautiful and meaningful as one for a young couple – sometimes, even more so!
If you are looking for guidance and help, then please feel free to arrange a complimentary chat with me.