Why are Weddings so Expensive?

Why are Weddings so Expensive?

A simple question, seemingly, but there’s actually more to it than meets the eye.

A cynical response

Suppliers rub their hands together when they see a couple approaching. They sense the opportunity to exploit excited, bemused, ignorant people. They can inflate their prices just because it’s for a wedding. The couple are unlikely to shop around very far, so they offer rich pickings.

These suppliers can include venues, dressmakers, caterers, florists, make-up artists, celebrants (yes, even some celebrants!), photographers, planners, entertainment arrangers, vehicle hire – anyone and everyone!

A measured response

The first observation is that not every supplier will be out to take advantage of you. Most are ethical and are keen to offer a service commensurate with their fees. Often, they do an enormous amount behind the scenes. A celebrant doesn’t just turn up early on the day, deliver a half-hour ceremony and then go home. There is a massive amount of work beforehand to ensure that the ceremony is perfect on the day, and reflects the couple’s personalities and beliefs.

A wedding will cost a lot, undeniably, although much will depend on what your budget and expectations are. You are often employing specialists, so their expertise, training, and know-how need to be rewarded. So, although your outlay may be significant, you may actually be getting good value for money.

Saving

There are ways to reduce costs without sacrificing quality. You can get married Monday to Thursday and/or in the morning or afternoon. That should get you cheaper rates. Avoid peak times (Bank Holidays and summer in particular).

Finally, shop around. Don’t necessarily go for the cheapest vendor, though. Choose one who you feel you can trust and who is prepared to listen to your vision. Look at their testimonials and go with your heart.

Your wedding might not seem so expensive, after all!

Wedding Nightmares!

Wedding Nightmares!

I know we’re nowhere near Halloween, but there is always the potential for wedding nightmares!

Wedding Nightmares

How many of these situations would you think I have witnessed as a wedding celebrant?

  1. A fire
  2. The groom forgetting the ring
  3. A fist-fight among guests
  4. The bride’s car getting lost
  5. A collapsing staircase
  6. The groom’s father’s trousers falling down
  7. A photographer falling over
  8. The Best Man two hours late because of a job interview
  9. The bride being too nervous to recite her vows
  10. The bride’s mother walking out during the Best Man’s speech

You are probably expecting me to say that I have witnessed all of them, but, actually 3, 6, 9 and 10 did not happen on my watch, and 5 happened before the wedding. However, any of these – and many, many more – could have taken place. You might be able to add to the list yourself!

In fact, there’s virtually no limit on what could go wrong. In the vast majority of cases, though, nothing at all will go amiss throughout the entire event.

In fact, most of what does go wrong is not even noticed by most of the attendees.

Solutions

However, it’s natural to worry.

One solution is to use a wedding planner. You pay them to take the burden off your shoulders. And experienced ones are good at improvising solutions.

But what if you don’t book a wedding planner?

Then it’s how you prepare – and how you react – that makes the difference.

If you’ve been careful and booked professional suppliers (celebrants, venue, florists, DJs, photographers, make-up artists, caterers, the bridal car, and so on), then you should be OK. It wouldn’t do any harm, though, to ring round the week before the wedding and make sure they do have your reservation in their books! There may be some last-minute (mutual) questions too.

Good for your peace of mind, at the very least – and suppliers are human too!.

On the day, use your checklist (you are making lists, haven’t you?!) and start early. If you have briefed your team properly, everyone will know what they are meant to be doing, where and when.

And if something does go wrong, goodwill normally rides to the rescue. Your team will almost certainly rally round, and help sort out the problem. And if the worst comes to the worst, your family and friends will surely show understanding and tolerance. Things do go wrong, after all, in life’s rich tapestry. If people see that efforts have been made to sort out the issue, then the criticism will probably be nothing stronger than a few tuts.

So relax and enjoy your big day, secure in the knowledge that you have prepared well and have a fine team on side. Then everything will flow and you’ll have an unforgettable day – for the right reasons!

How to Choose Your Wedding Venue

How to Choose Your Wedding Venue

One of the most important decisions relating to your wedding concerns the venue. The first thing to realise is that you can’t leave it to the last moment! For one thing, the venue of your choice may well be booked up a year ahead, or even more.

Unless you already know for sure where you want to be, you will have to do some research.

Starting off

You may be guided by the experiences of acquaintances. If they liked a place, it doesn’t mean that you will, but you can visit and see what you think.

You may have a passion that dictates where you’ll go. One ceremony I conducted was set in the open air at a Canal Centre (albeit, on dry land!) – the couple were passionate about longboat holidays, so it made perfect sense.

Otherwise, you’ll probably start looking at geographical areas that suit you.

The process

You’ll can narrow the process down by looking at websites. Obviously, that’ll give you some basic information, but a visit is virtually indispensable. That way, you can get a feel for the atmosphere and beauty of the place (essential before you make your decision). You should also make an appointment with the events planner, and come with a list of questions.

Incidentally, before you visit, check the venues actually have availability for your intended date.

The big mistake

When you’re choosing your suppliers – be they florists, civil celebrants, wedding planners, musicians, photographers, or whatever – don’t go for the cheapest! Obviously, you have to respect your budget, that’s a given. But you want to go with a supplier that you feel you can trust and whom you want to work with. That may come at a cost, and you may need to try and make savings somewhere else.

The visit

When you go to venues, you will need to consider not only the surroundings, but also the event planner. Hopefully, you will like them and they’ll be sympathetic to your vision.

Ask them what you need to know. This may range from capacity to catering, from whether the whole building is included in the hire to whether the planner will be on hand on the day, from décor to logistics (like parking or microphones), and so on.

If you find a venue you love (not “like”!), go for it. If you need to cut a few corners, you can often negotiate a discount depending when you hold the event.

It’s cheaper to book a venue out of (summer) season (or Xmas and Valentine’s Day) and to avoid Saturdays or Fridays. Afternoon, rather than evening, can be cheaper.

So go to several venues (with the same questions), and you can compare.

It sounds like a lot of “homework”, but it’s your big day, and it’s important to get it right!

Feel free to call me to discuss any of this further.

Wedding Suppliers

We all need wedding suppliers – or do we?

If you’re celebrating a wedding on a truly small scale, you may be able to organise everything yourself. And it may well all come together successfully. However, if the guest-list goes into double figures, you’re less likely to cope.

You can go to the Cash & Carry and buy in a load of food and drink. You’ll probably want to clean the place up first before decorating. How will you serve refreshments? How will you arrange the room in your house to accommodate a large-ish number? Are you using the back garden? Supposing it rains? Have you warned the neighbours? Will there be a sound system? Have you avoided trailing wires and trip hazards?

So, rather than exhaust yourself before the event even starts, I suggest you hire some suppliers.

Wedding Planner

If your wedding is likely to be big and potentially complex, then get yourself a professional wedding planner. Otherwise, there may be an event planner who comes with the venue you book, or – if you think you can handle it – you go for it yourself.

Venue

Visit as many venues as it takes. Once your heart says “yes”, go with it. But, obviously, the price must be right and you must feel confident about the planner there.

The venue must be one of the first things to book, and some get taken over a year in advance.

Ceremony

If you’re not having a full religious service, you may want more than the Registrars’ standard ceremony. They do the legal bit, but they do not personalise. For that, contact a civil celebrant.

Working together with your civil celebrant, you can achieve the unique ceremony of your dreams.

Musicians

You may want music, either at the wedding ceremony or at the reception (or both). Then you have to decide whether it should be live or recorded, whether you’re having a DJ or a friend to push a button.

Who is providing the sound equipment?

Entertainment

Whatever you choose to hire will probably need to be booked well in advance. Depending on budget or choice, you can offer your guests all kinds of shows and participatory events.

Food, drink and catering

Again, this is where a planner can earn their keep. Are you having some drinks and hors d’oeuvres before the meal? Will the meal be buffet or silver service? What – and how much – drink will you offer? Will you have a cash bar? What about vegans and those on gluten-free or dairy-free regimes? Do you want a special table for children?

Photographers

You definitely need to have a photographic record of your big day. How many photographers – or videographers? – you have is down to you. Don’t ask a friend to do it (even though you save money): he/she may accidentally fail to deliver, which you really wouldn’t thank them for. Moreover, the friend is there to be part of your wedding, not to worry about the pictures.

Florists

Most of us want flowers at such an occasion – seasonal ones are usually cheaper than ones flown in.

There may well be other suppliers you’d want to employ (such as caterers, drivers, cake-makers, magicians), but I hope that this article gives at least a reasonable idea of what is involved in planning a wedding.

It may look daunting, but professional suppliers can manage it smoothly for you.

If you have any questions or comments, especially about ceremonies, please feel free to contact me.

Photo: Matt Penberthy

Happy New(ish!) Year

Happy New(ish!) Year

Experience and conversations at Wedding Fairs have taught me that a lot of people get engaged over the Christmas/New Year break. For them, it’s a really happy time, and they tend to walk around on cloud nine, grinning ecstatically. (No idea what “cloud nine” actually refers to, but we all get the picture!)

Because most newly-engaged couples are in a state of unreality, it’s hard for them to be practical. However, assuming they’ve told parents etc. and are sure they’ve made the right decision after the initial euphoria wears off, there’s work to be done!

Decisions

Your main tasks (to begin with!) are as follows:

  • Settle on a date for the wedding
  • Agree a budget (this may well involve parents etc.)
  • Choose a venue
  • Decide on the type of ceremony you’ll have

You may want to look at other things later, and such considerations will probably include booking registrars (if you won’t be marrying in a CE church), investigating a celebrant, arranging the entertainment, also the catering, flowers, photographers, and possibly, a wedding planner. (Apologies to suppliers I may have omitted!)

You’ll also have things like guest lists. invitations and, eventually, seating plans to look forward to!

The date

To secure the venue of your choice, you must expect to book at least a year in advance.

Bear in mind that a wedding will normally be cheaper if it is out of season. Winter is good (excluding Christmas, New Year’s Eve and St Valentine’s Day). Weekdays tend to be cheapest. Mornings or afternoons are normally more reasonable.

If you choose a Bank Holiday or holiday periods, people may be planning breaks, so get your invitations out early.

The budget

Clearly, this is down to you, but try and secure agreement for everything first and foremost. Negotiations may be tricky, and you don’t want rifts. So be clear in your mind what really matters to you, and insist (only) on this. (Preferably, in a rational and pleasant way!)

Once things have been agreed, don’t exceed limits!

The VenueAs soon as you have your budget, go along to venues that have been recommended or that you have researched. Take a pen and notebook with a list of questions, and find out exactly what the venue offers (and what is not included). But first and foremost, does the venue excite you? Do you really want to be married there?

The Ceremony

Obviously, there are different types of ceremony.

Full religious C of E ceremonies have their own rules and arrangements, and your Church can give you further information.

Otherwise, you will need to use registrars.

You have two choices:

  1. Go with two witnesses (by arrangement) to the Register Office in advance, and get legally married; then you can go to the venue of your choice and have the ceremony of your choice! Normally, this will be conducted by a civil celebrant (who helps you put together a personalised ceremony).
  2. Pay several hundred pounds extra to have the registrars come to your venue. Provided there are four solid walls, they will perform a 10-15-minute ceremony, which means you are legally married. This ceremony is totally non-religious and standard (ie one-size-fits-all). Following the legal bit, your civil celebrant can then conduct the personalised ceremony you have worked together to construct.

So have a chat with a civil celebrant and find out how it works. More importantly, together you can create a unique, tailor-made ceremony that will be memorable for you and your guests for a long time to come.

You could do worse than contact Michael (07931 538487 – celebrant@vowsthatwow.co.uk) and he will ensure you have a happy new(ish) year!