Weddings and Social Media

Love them or hate them, social media are here to stay.

Couples will have very varying opinions about whether they want their vows to go viral. The fact is that social media are the new “plus one” at weddings, and cannot be ignored.

An ‘old school’ opinion

I’m noted for being only a very slowly evolving dinosaur, but I can appreciate the attraction of seeing photos online the day after the wedding. However, I also feel that the occasion should not be diminished by hosts of smartphone-users raising arms every few moments. (It’s not so bad at the reception, but I’m less happy with it during the ceremony.)

I also consider that people should be taking in the whole atmosphere of an unique occasion – an occasion which is often the fruit of immense thought and planning. Their arms may be distracting or blocking the view of other guests. And if they are worrying about what picture to take next, is that really what they’ve come for?

Additionally, the couple are often paying a professional good money to record their special day. Guests have no right to spoil his pictures.

Rules

In my experience, most couples feel that there should be rules about social media. These rules vary, of course, but many believe that it should be the couple who are the first to post wedding photos on a social media site. A lot also feel that bridesmaids should not be allowed to upload photos of brides before the ceremony.

Whatever you decide, you need to inform your guests clearly.

A note (at the top!) in the Order of Service booklet is a good idea. (My more socially aware contacts tell me that you need to call it an “Unplugged Ceremony”.) Alternatively, the celebrant can announce this at the beginning, instead. Or, if you prefer, put up a sign at the entrance to the hall.

Note that children may also need to be “unplugged” for the half hour or so that the ceremony lasts!

Social Media Ideas

In certain cases, friends of the pair may create a hashtag handle for tweeting and photo-sharing. This also ensures that each wedding is distinctive. Useful, if you happen to be invited to a whole lot of weddings in one season.

A bride can nowadays designate a “Tweeter of Honour”, if she has too much to occupy herself with.

Instagrams can show natural, unforced moments. Nonetheless, it’s very rare that such photos beat the professional photographer’s shots.

Advantages of photo-sharing are that guests can contribute to a designated wedding album and, of course, those unable to attend, may be able to see photos or even live streams.

A Step Too Far?

So I accept that these changes are here, and need to be welcomed or confronted by every couple. They are a matter of opinion, with their share of  “pros” and “cons”. I just hope that the day does not come when a wedding ceremony is stopped for the bride or groom to change their Facebook status to “married”!

 

The Civil Ceremony and Social media

Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay. But how much of a  role should it play in a wedding and the build-up?

Here are a few thoughts.

Engagement/wedding

Resist the temptation to post the good news of your engagement or wedding date on Facebook until you’ve told all your family and close friends first. It’s a common-sense, tactful thing, and may avoid causing a lot of offence.

Invitations

There’s nothing wrong with using social media for your invitations (e-vites) – it’s a lot cheaper than printed invitations and can still look good. (You can always send printed invitations to your more conservative friends/relatives, if you choose.)

Invitation replies

You need to be able to track these, so you have to be consistent and clear. It may be best not to use social media here (not [quite] everyone has a Facebook account, for example). E-mail is probably safe, but technological problems are not unknown! What if your computer dies? Thus Royal Mail may be the best bet, so ensure your address is on the invitation, even if the invitation is sent via social media.

The big event

It pays to communicate with your guests. You may well be happy with a photography free-for-all. That’s fine.

If you want no photography during the ceremony, however, you can put a note in the programme or post this fact on the wedding website. Most – if not all – people will respect your wishes. ‘Unplugged’ weddings are becoming increasingly common nowadays.

Hopefully, guests who do take shots regardless will, at least, not post these for a few days. (It’s best to go with the flow, if people disregard your request – it’s not worth letting their lack of consideration spoil your big day.)

Of course, people should be welcome to take photos of themselves, if they want.

Afterwards

Do send out ‘thank you cards’ – but not by e-mail or social media. They’ve got to be hand-written.

 

So use social media to help you, by all means, but be tactful and condsiderate about it.