by Michael | Mar 14, 2013 | Blog
Last time, we looked at reasons for writing your own marriage vows. We also looked at suggestions how best to go about this.
Of course, you might already have all the ideas you want for the content, but you would probably welcome a few pointers as to what might work well.
Whether you are writing traditional wedding vows or not, the following could be worth considering:
- You will probably want to express deep emotional love for your partner (why else are you going through this whole ceremony?!)
- You can mention your first meeting (was it ‘love at first sight’ or organic growth?)
- You may want to talk about when you first realized you were in love
- How has your life changed since you met your partner, since you fell in love?
- Talk about your plans and aspirations for your future life together – or growing old together
- Promise to stay together in the future, come what may
If you feel uncomfortable expressing such emotions publicly, you can always quote from a song, film or poem that captures what you want to say. You can also use metaphor or simile to get your message across beautifully and effectively – and less embarrassingly!
So think through what you want to say, plan it, put it on paper, and leave the draft for a day, if possible. Then review it and get feedback from someone who knows you (and who will be honest!). Finally, use the above tips to put it all together. Make sure to practise saying it.
To come up with a meaningful, original and affecting set of vows is not as difficult as you may think. The results will certainly be more than worth the effort!
Michael Gordon is a celebrant based in Harrow.
by Michael | Mar 12, 2013 | Blog
One of the beautiful things about organizing a wedding together with a celebrant is that your ‘script’ can be exactly what you want. And, although there are some lovely vows you can borrow or adapt, writing your own marriage vows can prove to be personal, moving and affecting.
No one wants to risk producing ‘naff’ vows, so here are some tips to help you.
- Make sure you and your partner BOTH want to do this, and agree whether you will do this separately or together.
- Make sure that the person conducting the ceremony knows in advance. And it’s OK for them to look at what you have written before the ceremony.
- Allow loads of time to do this – you’re bound to need to do plenty of rewriting.
- Start by deciding a few general things you want to say (you can worry about the detail later) – just have clear in your head what it is important.
- What sort of register do you want to use? By that I mean: will it be serious, humorous, deep, spiritual, religious, or some sort of combination?
- As for content, I’m going to make a few suggestions in my next blog!
- Once you’ve got a few sentences down (and remember, sixty seconds each is quite long enough!), see about reworking them so they look and sound good to you.
- Leave your draft a day or two, and come back and, if necessary, rework it. Get a friend to review it brutally!
- Once you’re satisfied, practise reading the vows (alone!) in front of a mirror – or practise with your partner.
- At the end of the ceremony, give the vows to somebody to keep for you (or make and file a copy beforehand).
A few tips to follow next time about content, but, you see, it’s not really that hard after all!
Michael Gordon is a celebrant based in London.
