This is going to be my last blog this year (I allow myself time off for good behaviour between Christmas and New Year!).
As is traditional, I intend to briefly look back on the past year before signing off for 2022.
The Bad
Apart from the expected coughs and colds, healthwise the year has been dominated by quite a lot of hospital visits and checks for me. The main issue has been with an enlarged prostate. This was announced rather suddenly and certainly abruptly when I found myself totally unable to pee. I alarmingly gained a couple of kilos in a matter of hours and swelled up visibly. I became extremely uncomfortable. Fortunately, A & E at Northwick Park were excellent, and basically saved my life.
After unpleasant experiences with catheters, which I won’t go into, I was able to have an operation. The paperwork was inefficient and inaccurate, but the care from the nurses was impeccable. Although the operation gave me my waterworks back, I don’t have quite the freedom that I used to have. However, this is a small price to pay, and I am very grateful to be able to function (to all intents and purposes) normally.
As I write this, I am due for a pre-assessment for cataract surgery in a few days, so all the medical stuff hasn’t quite ended. However, such procedures are nowadays considered routine, so I am grateful it is nothing worse.
Ah, but what it is to grow old! However, I do not feel old, so that is something to be very grateful for.
The other disappointment about 2022 is that I have only had a handful of weddings to conduct and no Vow Renewals. It is true that my attention has been somewhat off the ball due to my various health issues, so this has proved almost a blessing in disguise. However, I am hopeful that 2023 will be more productive on the celebration front.
The Good
Although COVID made us lose out on tickets we had bought for a Lisbon holiday (this is under the heading “Good”?!), we tried out something else. We did manage a flight, so we felt we had gone abroad. This was to Jersey in June, and we had perfect weather for our 4-night stay. It was a real delight, as was our other 4-night trip away.
This second trip (in August) had similar weather. We went to Bath (mainly to see Rob Brydon’s excellent show) and continued to Cardiff. Although a bit of a building-site, Cardiff was worth a visit – especially the castle, and we took a day trip out to the Brecon Beacons, which were in no way a disappointment. Far from it.
On the work front, in my ten years of being a celebrant, this was the second-best year for funerals for me. I am not trying to be ghoulish, but people are always going to die, and somebody has to conduct the funeral. I am willing to be that person.
On a brighter note (and I think we need one!), I conducted my first ever elopement (pictured) The couple came over from the States for the occasion. We had a lovely day for it and the venue (a ruined medieval church) was atmospheric. They were clearly very much in love and it was a delight as well as a privilege to have been invited to participate.
I gather they have a baby on the way!
Last Words for the Year
I do hope the past year has not been too trying for you (whether healthwise or energy-wise or financially etc.) and that you can enjoy the festive period with people that you love. Thank you for reading my blog(s) and I wish you all the very best – health, prosperity, happiness – for the New Year.
Last week I spoke about how I fell into celebrancy.
After training, I eased my way into leading funerals, but avoided the more cheerful ceremonies. This was frankly because I was scared. That doesn’t make much sense, I know. Why should a wedding be more scary than a funeral?
That, however, was the fact of the matter, and I didn’t market that side actively.
But eventually, my website was picked up and my first celebration ceremony enquiry came in. It was from a young lady whose parents were holding a garden party in eight days’ time. The father had come through critical illness and they were celebrating his return to health. Unbeknown to the mother, they also wanted a Ring Blessing, as he had fallen ill during the wedding and they had been unable to finish the ceremony. Would I conduct this ceremony?
I had never done a Ring Blessing before, of course. I only had eight days to get it together. Because it was to be a secret from the mother, I could not contact the family with a draft for them to approve. (The only guidance they could offer was that it should not be religious.)
More to the point, I was not really available!
As I explained when the daughter rang, I was literally on my doorstep with wife and son and suitcases, about to go off for a week’s holiday in Germany. I therefore gave her the details of another celebrant, who might be able to help. I said I would check emails as best I could while I was away, just in case, but basically I was unavailable.
No emails came though while I was away or even on the Friday when we returned. So I had dodged that bullet, as I thought!
On the Saturday, I went out for the morning. When I came back, my wife said, “They’ve rung and they want you for tonight!” She had noted the time and address, and I was committed!
So I spent the afternoon planning what I thought I should include and set off for Enfield. I arrived almost an hour early, so sat in the car. The advantage of getting this “gig” so late was that I had not had time to get nervous.
Until then. I would not care to repeat that hour or so!
When I went in, I apologised for interrupting the party and introduced myself to the 40 or so people present. We then had our Ring Blessing ceremony, which took about 10 minutes, after which I headed off home again.
The ceremony seemed to be well received – not least, by the mother who cried tears of joy.
I had broken my duck and would happily lead other happy ceremonies in the future. (That’s not to say that I don’t have occasional attacks of nerves, but I know I’ve got what it takes!)
So if you’re contemplating a ceremony of some kind, feel free to invite me to make your big day special!
It may somehow have escaped your notice, but it’s World Celebrants Week this week.
I’d like to tell you why I became an independent Civil Celebrant ten years ago, if I may.
I certainly had no plan to become one – in fact, I had never heard of such a thing!
In 2010 and 2011, I was doing a lot of self-improvement, but otherwise in a rut. I was in network marketing, selling lovely natural health products that made a difference. That was rewarding, but not rewarding financially, so I was drifting.
One day I attended a networking event, and chanced on my first-ever celebrant. When he told me a bit about his work, my ears pricked up. I was particularly impressed when he pointed out that he could enable people to have the ceremony they actually wanted on their big day. Wow! Why shouldn’t they have their special day as they wanted?! It made such good sense.
And I could help them achieve that!
I took his business card and rang him up a couple of days later with questions. Satisfied, I realised I was hooked and I decided to commit. Off I went into deepest Oxfordshire for a weekend’s residential training for my Diploma in Wedding Celebrancy.
While on the course, we had to prepare and deliver (fictional) wedding addresses in front of the group. When I did mine, several people said I had a good voice for funerals. Well, I wasn’t quite sure how to take that, but I guessed it was OK. So I enrolled for my Diploma in Funeral Celebrancy a couple of months later.
Joining the AOIC (a trade association with high standards) was the final link, and I was ready to be let loose on the world!
Interestingly, perhaps, I put myself forward to take my first funeral fairly quickly, and it went OK. For no good reason, I was more frightened about taking a wedding, and only put myself forward minimally. However, after a few months, my website was picked up and an enquiry came in.
That’s quite a story. I’ll tell you about it next time, so watch this space!
For those who need it, I’ll explain the title presently.
May I tell you why I’ve been rather quiet on the social media front – and even missed doing my blog last week?
Well, there have been a few health issues, although they seem to be under control now. But waiting around in hospitals takes up the time and energy. I have been lucky that I could still work and did not have to refuse any funerals.
There was a more pleasureable reason for my quietness.
We are so glad that, apart from three nights in Essex last year, we managed to get away this summer for the first time in three years.
We made two short trips.
Jersey
The first was something of a mixed blessing. We had been booked to fly to Lisbon for 6 days, but, due to the COVID restrictions, we reluctantly decided to cancel. Our son (probably partly with a view to having the house to himself!) persuaded us to go away anyway, given that we had booked the time off. As a result, we organised a last-minute stay on Jersey.
Although it was only for three nights, it felt like a real getaway, because we used airports. (Better still, there was no lost luggage and not even any delays!) I had never been to Jersey before (only Guernsey, to conduct a wedding), and I was charmed. The weather helped – beautiful, warm but with a nice breeze. We didn’t pack anything for wet weather – how often can you do that?!
We had some friends on the island. It was lovely to see them again and they treated us very well. They showed us round and fed us. We also took an organised coach tour. The roads are so narrow! The scenery was spectacular and the time passed quickly. I need to point out that we also found the food plentiful and delicious.
Bath
Our other trip was to Bath, to see Rob Brydon on tour, which was hugely entertaining. We also had the chance to wander (again in perfect weather) through Bath and appreciate it at our own pace. We then took the train to Cardiff for three nights.
Cardiff and around
We found the Welsh really friendly and helpful. However, Cardiff appears to be a building site, and it was also gearing up for an annual event that meant several attractions were closed. Nonetheless, we enjoyed the castle and took a wonderful day trip, full of historic treats, by minibus that went as far as the stunning Brecon Beacons.
I was not aware how glorious the scenery round there could be, and now I understand why the Welsh are so proud of Wales!
A different sort of trip (courtesy of one of Isobel’s friends) was to Barry Island. That was a “Gavin and Stacey” pilgrimage (another nod to Rob Brydon!), and, although the beach front was pretty, we didn’t really feel safe, so the stay was brief.
Incidentally, do you recognise the title of this blog? “Gavin & Stacey” aficionados will!
Well, we were really grateful to have had the chance to take two mini-holidays. We were lucky that they turned out so well (not just the weather). We are looking forward to our next break, whenever and wherever that may be!
When I was a student (a little after Noah’s flood!), I little suspected what knowledge of languages would offer me. I guessed it would come in handy for my travels, but little suspected how useful it might be in my current career.
Indeed, at that time, I had no idea that such a career existed, let alone what a civil celebrant was!
Meanwhile, over the course of 25 years, I passed on my knowledge of languages, as a teacher.
Finally, in 2013, I changed direction and became a civil celebrant. I didn’t see any obvious use any more for my knowledge of tongues, although I still travelled a fair bit.
It became clear, however, that my reading knowledge of Hebrew was valuable. I started being found because I could conduct Jewish (and part-Jewish) ceremonies. One advantage was that I could read one of the most important wedding prayers, the “Seven Blessings”. I also conducted two “shivas” (or funeral services at the family home).
At that point, I saw the value of languages in my field, and made changes to my website accordingly.
Not long afterwards, I was located by a Parisian travel agent, who, rather bizarrely, was fixing up a Vow Renewal ceremony for his clients in London. It turned out they were French Canadian. They claimed to be fluent in English.
E-mails came and went, and I met the couple in a London hotel at the appointed time. They were charming, although Jacques struggled a bit with the conversation. As we started the ceremony, I realised the reason: his English was extremely shaky! He clearly didn’t understand much of what was going on. Luckily, French wasn’t a problem for me, so I improvised a little, could explain what was going on and put him at his ease.
Soon afterwards, having been briefed and having practised hard, I even read a paragraph at another wedding … in Swedish – which is definitely NOT one of my languages!
Interestingly, I was also asked to prepare an Italian ceremony, but that didn’t materialise. However, I am proud that I did conduct a part-Russian wedding.
Thanks to the website, I was invited to be interviewed by the couple, who wanted some Russian in their service. They even recorded me reading aloud, and sent the recording off to parents in Moscow! Luckily, I passed the test.
As a consequence of that wedding, I was asked to do another part-Russian wedding, this time in Portugal,so I blessed my knowledge of languages!
As a fluent German speaker, I am awaiting my first German ceremony (and even Czech, although I am very rusty now). If you know anyone looking for some foreign languages in their ceremony, please think of me!
