by Michael | Sep 19, 2017 | Blog
Wedding shackles? Sounds a bit melodramatic!
Let’s have a look.
It’s over forty years since people were given free choice as to the type of wedding ceremony they could have. That happened in Australia. It took much longer to get established over here, but England too now gives you the opportunity to have the ceremony that you actually want.
However, judging by my experience at wedding fairs, the majority of people think that the only choices are a full religious service (from a prayer book) or a (secular) register office ceremony. They seem quite surprised when I tell them that the service can be personalised and as religious (or not) as they want.
Putting ON the shackles!!
Source: louiedonovanphotography.co.uk
So, in case you’re a bit confused too, here are some guidelines.
What you MUST do
The bottom line is that, in order to marry legally in England, the marriage has to be registered with the registrars and certain words pronounced aloud. You can only do this at the Register Office, or at a licensed venue (if the registrars can come out there), or in a C. of E. Church.
What you CAN do
You may be thinking about a personalised service. So this won’t be one that, as you move down the ‘conveyor belt’, is the same for you as it is for the next person, and the one after that.
The way you can achieve a unique ceremony is to use a civil celebrant (like myself!). Ensure the mandatory stuff is complete like this:
- Hold your ceremony in a venue licensed for weddings, such as certain hotels. The registrars normally come out (at a price) and will conduct their standard service. As soon as they have done so, your civil celebrant can stand up and start leading the ceremony of your dreams.
- Go along with two witnesses (in your jeans, if you wish!) to the local Register Office. (Book up first!) Once you are legally married, you can proceed (either immediately or even in a day or two) to the venue of your choice where your Civil Celebrant can conduct your special ceremony.
One advantage of number two is that you can go (almost literally) anywhere to hold yourceremony. That might mean an island, a mountain top, a monument, beside the water – you are only limited by your imagination, practicality and permission!
Types of Ceremony
The beauty of a civil celebrant is that you are not obliged to hold a fully non-religious ceremony. Nor is the opposite the case. You may want a compromise. Perhaps you are a mixed-faith couple, unable to marry in your own religious buildings, but who still want a religious service. The civil celebrant can write such a ceremony. Perhaps your parents want religious elements, but you do not. Again, the civil celebrant can help.
However, you want your ceremony, your civil celebrant can advise and guide you.
That way you have abundant choice, and your ceremony will be everything that you want it to be.
And why shouldn’t it be?!
Featured image source: thegroomsays. blogspot.com
by Michael | Aug 29, 2017 | Blog
You don’t expect things to go wrong at a funeral, do you? After all, everybody goes to great lengths to ensure that things go smoothly. Funeral Directors put themselves out to ensure that needs are met. The staff they use (celebrants, crematorium staff, etc.) are professional, dedicated people.
So you have every right to expect a fitting funeral service.
And, to be fair, you usually get one.
But crematoria have machinery. And, even more significantly, funerals involve human beings. With the best will in the world, things that involve such variables can go wrong.
Sorting out a difficult situation
Last Sunday, I was booked to conduct a funeral at Golders Green Crematorium. As is my custom, I arrived about an hour early. I soon received a phone call from the Funeral Director. The power supply at the Crematorium had been cut. They could supply no music and the coffin would not be able to pass into the cremator.
Somehow, at such short notice, a switch was arranged. The venue became St Marylebone, East Finchley, a few miles away. Two Golders Green staff transferred across, as the ‘home team’ doesn’t work on Sundays. One staff member would operate the cremator at the end of the service and the other would assist with the music and getting people in and out of the chapel.
When we arrived, someone realised that flowers had originally been sent to Golders Green, and were still there! The only way to retrieve them was for the chapel assistant to start the music, shoot back to Golders Green, collect the flowers and return in time for the final piece of music about half an hour later!
It didn’t quite work! Traffic! Luckily, the Funeral Director had been briefed and was able to play the music at the end (and the assistant arrived with the flowers only a few minutes later).
Most people had no idea what had been going on behind the scenes!
A glaring blunder
Sometimes people can’t help but notice that something has gone wrong!
A little bizarrely, a family had asked for us to include a rather unusual and quite difficult hymn that they didn’t themselves know. There would be an organist, but then hymn was so unfamiliar that I felt I couldn’t lead it. Moreover, most of the guests wouldn’t know it and be able to join in. Potentially embarrassing.
So it was decided to play a CD of the hymn, and we might be able to join in with that.
On the day, I went through the service in advance with the crematorium assistant, so that he’d know what music to play, and when. He’s been working there 25 years now, and really knows his stuff, so I had no concerns there.
When it came to the hymn, I asked people to stand and join in and waited for the music to start. Nothing happened. I therefore announced it again and waited. Nothing. So I had to move on, apologising for what I assumed was a technical fault. As we rose for the exit music, the hymn suddenly sounded!
What had happened?
The assistant had simply forgotten that the hymn was to be cued up by him (rather than played on the organ), and had gone out (to show the Funeral Director where the flowers would be taken at the end).
Who could have predicted that?!
Fortunately, out of the 125 funerals I have so far conducted, those two incidents were the only times that things didn’t go as smoothly as we would have liked!
by Michael | Aug 22, 2017 | Blog
If the title has brought you here and you’re expecting practical advice about choosing your wedding venue, you may be disappointed!
It’s not the practicalities that I want to address in this piece, but imagination.
So if you want to learn about how to deal with venues, you may be better advised to read this article
Otherwise, stay here. This may indeed help you choose a venue, but I want to take you with me in dreams – and who knows where that may lead!
Why hold a ceremony at all?
Of course, a ceremony should mark a person’s particular milestone (be it, birthday, wedding, naming, vow renewal, or whatever). It’s an opportunity for others to take time out and show that the person in the spotlight really means a lot to them.
It’s an opportunity for the host/hostess to invite the people who truly matter to them to be present at a significant time in their life.
I don’t see the point, then, in holding a dull, unexceptional ceremony. You might as well have one that’s outstanding and memorable. Now, as a civil celebrant, part of my work is to make your ceremony unique. I can certainly contribute!
However, another component that is important to making the event stand out is the venue.
A gamble?
A wonderful setting for a handfasting!Those of you who have been with me over several years may remember a handfasting I did on Old Sarum, an Iron Age fort overlooking Salisbury. It was January, the site was totally exposed, and it was one of the wettest winters on record. I was up there (including preparation time) for over two hours; the guests for some fifty minutes. What if it had rained the way it did as I drove there a few hours previously? Or as it did, accompanied by thunder and lightning, when I drove back? The ceremony could have been a disaster! A complete wash-out!
As it was, we had a mild day for January and even a few minutes of sunshine. The atmosphere of the ruins and location and, indeed, the skies, was something quite special, and I don’t believe any of those there will ever forget that ceremony!
It was a gamble well worth taking!
Magic
Money has to enter into it, naturally, but, if you can stretch to it, there are some remarkable venues available. I’m going to speak about just one, but you don’t need to keep your imagination bound. A pod on the London Eye can be hired; a ceremony can be held for you at Stonehenge (or Old Sarum); what about under the sea, on a beach, in a forest, up a mountain or beside a canal?
Any of these may have an atmosphere like nowhere else, and fit with your personality and passions.
I was recently asked to conduct a wedding at Castle Goring, near Worthing. I had never heard of the castle, and, as it turned out, because the signposting was very poor, I nearly missed the place altogether!
However, what a treat it was! Set amid quiet, beautiful grounds, it looked like a castle should.
Moreover, our ceremony was to take place outdoors (and the sun shone!). The setting proved to be fabulous. I can vouch that the interior was magnificent too.
If I’m honest, I think I did a very good job that day – but thanks to the setting and ambiance, I could hardly go wrong!
Advice
So visit a few venues, with a list of questions. Of course, the ‘boring bits’ need to be addressed, but what matters most about your visit is what your heart is telling you. If you know it’s the right place, then don’t hesitate!
For any help with venues, or anything connected with the ceremony, please contact me!
by Michael | Feb 27, 2017 | Blog
This is my third and final review of luxury London venues for your wedding/vow renewal. I rather wish it wasn’t coming to an end – reviewing these establishments wasn’t much of a hardship, in truth!
[Please note that my disclaimers (from my previous articles) still apply.]
The Rosewood
The Rosewood in High Holborn could hardly be more central and convenient. The signage was so discreet that I wasn’t sure which of the doors led to the Reception!
However, once in, I was very impressed by the appearance. Only three years old, at the time of writing, the hotel looked well cared-for. It was spacious, elegant and classy (without being snooty).
I’d love to have included my photos, but something went amiss. At least, here’s one picture (from the website), and that will give you a feel for the place.
Source: rosewoodhotels.com Rosewood London
Service is very important, clearly, and anyone who books a wedding here will be well looked-after. The ballroom, which includes a PA system, can take 280 people, and its foyer around 240. There is also a “living room” (capacity c. 30) and dining room (c. 20). Both the latter could be ideal for a smaller event, such as a Vow Renewal.
The Rosewood have recommended suppliers and would organise whatever is required. But as quite a number of weddings here are Jewish, outside kosher catering is brought in. You can arrange most other suppliers yourself – florists, for example.
Stylish and professional, the Rosewood will not be cheap, but you will surely get what you pay for here.
The Lanesborough
The Hotel is in a remarkable location. It is situated on Hyde Park Corner (literally), in a beautifully restored 18th century building that was once a hospital (now St George’s, Tooting).
It is flexible, as far as meeting the needs of its clients is concerned, and has a variety of rooms suitable for weddings or vow renewals of differing sizes.
I believe the hotel’s reputation speaks for itself – the decor is glorious and I appreciated the friendly attentiveness of the staff, who clearly aim at keeping the customer happy. They are only too pleased to help.
The Goring
Perhaps surprisingly for Central London, The Goring is still a family-run hotel (and has been for over a century). It has been much frequented by royalty, so the decor is opulent and the service discreet, but thoroughly attentive. The Goring is the only hotel in the world to be granted a Royal Warrant by HM The Queen for Hospitality Services.
There are two rooms suitable for holding a ceremony and reception: The Drawing Room and The Garden Room. They are both intimate and intensely tasteful. The Garden Room has its own private sunken terrace, which leads to the unexpectedly large and attractive private garden, with its own private terrace, which is a lovely feature.
The Drawing Room at Night
The hotel, full of lovely chandeliers and tasteful decor, oozes class, yet does so without pretension. For enquiries, please email privatedining@thegoring.com
The Garden Room at the Goring
by Michael | Feb 7, 2017 | Blog
Ever considered a Valentine’s Day wedding?
Unfortunately, 14th February is on a Wednesday in 2018, so that may not seem the ideal day for you. However, a weekday wedding is perfectly feasible, so don’t rule it out.
History
Valentine’s Day has been around since Roman times (496 AD) and was celebrated with an exchange of hand-written love notes or cards in as early as the 1400s.
Its appeal as a wedding day is undeniable.
Modern day tips
If you choose to celebrate your wedding on Valentine’s Day, here are eight tips that you might interest you.
The Ceremony
If your officiant is a civil celebrant, you can write (or get him/her to help you write) your story as part of your wedding ceremony. By “story”, I mean how you met or what attracted – and still attracts – you to each other. This will help personalise the ceremony, and guests will love it!
Colour theme
You probably don’t need to agonise, as red or pink are traditionally the colours for Valentine’s Day.
Decor
A nice idea is to display in the lounge area photos of family members (whether living or not) on their wedding day. If there’s a fireplace, it would be great if it were lit. Otherwise, you may be able to give the illusion of a lit fireplace by using candles.
A dinner illuminated by candles can produce a wonderful effect (health & safety being duly observed, of course!). Sequined or silky table linens will make the candles shine even brighter.
Flowers
Roses must be a given. However, amaryllis can be effective too.
Drinks
You might be able to work with your caterers or venue and agree on a signature cocktail. This could have red garnishes (using cherries, strawberries or raspberries).
Music
You’d probably choose a love song for your first dance anyway. However, on their reply slip to the invitation, you could also have asked each guest to fill in what their first dance music was (or what “their” song is). Put these on the playlist, and thus make your guests feel included.
Cake
Valentine’s Day is a day to indulge. You want a special cake. A modern heart pattern embossed into white fondant may be striking. Or you can choose a cake with a red filling.
Take-home gift
Maybe that’s not all you would give, but what about starting with a packet of Love Hearts?
Your celebrant can help make this special day even more special. Ask them to suggest some romantic rituals that might fit the bill.
You really can combine the traditional and modern into an unforgettable ceremony. A Valentine’s Day wedding can be a really exciting option.
