by Michael | Jul 10, 2018 | Blog
Your big day is all about you. You really must have a wonderful time. But don’t forget. You are inviting guests and they will come to support you. They need to be kept happy too.
Let’s look at what might upset them. That way, you can avoid doing so!
Bad dates
If possible, don’t arrange your wedding during a major event like Wimbledon or the World Cup or over Christmas or Summer holidays. If you have to do this, then give plenty of notice. You can’t complain if people don’t attend, when they’ve already booked their holiday (and people may book a year ahead).
Invitations
Don’t leave room for misunderstanding. Do you really mean for your friends’ 4-year-old child to come too? What about a “plus one”? Then, if you’re dividing the whole event up into several events (eg ceremony, drinks reception, meal, disco), make it quite clear who is invited to which.
Seating plan
Always a difficult one. Don’t seat wedding guests too close together. Try and be aware of who it might be unwise to seat near to whom. Even if it’s so tempting to see someone’s reaction when you’ve seated them next to their ex!
Expense
Cash bars are not popular. To reduce your expenditure, but to keep guests happy, supply a limited selection of wine, beer, champagne, and soft drinks (at the table). And try having a ceremony earlier in the day. People are less likely to want alcohol then.
Melt-down or frost
Although you can’t control the climate, you can ensure the experience does not become a deterrent. If the ceremony is outdoors and in hot weather, ensure there is sufficient shade and/or fans and arrange for cold water to be available; blankets and umbrellas could be laid on for the winter.
The food
It’s a nice touch to find out about guests’ allergies or dietary requirements in advance. You obviously need to work with your caterers to ensure there will be sufficient food and that it is of decent quality. You can probably arrange a food-tasting in advance. (If you’re only offering nibbles, then this should be made clear on the invitations).
Children’s menus should not be too exotic, but can be a bit more imaginative than chicken wings.
Timings
Do what you can to ensure that the photographs don’t go on for ever – or the speeches. You can reasonably give instructions about this beforehand.
It is also a good idea to plan things so there are not huge gaps between, say, the ceremony and cocktails, or before the reception. Nobody likes ‘dead time’.
The music
You’ll never please everyone all the time, but music before the dancing should be background level, and not everybody will want to have tub-thumping, ear-splitting music for the dancing. This will apply even more if the majority of guests are more mature.
If money and space allows, there could be a small room for guests to retreat to, if noise or fatigue threatens to overwhelm.
Interacting
Do try and get round and speak to everybody – table to table is best – even to offer just a short acknowledgement (and it’s better than making people stand in a receiving line).
Don’t forget the thank-you cards either.
For help, especially planning the ceremony, please speak to Michael.
by Michael | Jul 2, 2018 | Blog
It was great! Last weekend I conducted an outdoor ceremony. And during the week too. And my next ceremony is due to be outdoors too.
It’s been a fabulous summer (so far), so it makes perfect sense. But let’s change tack slightly. What about a winter outdoor ceremony?
Hold your horses (or reindeer?), I hear you say. Who’d have a wedding or vow renewal in the open in the UK in the winter?
Well, I agree that it’s a huge gamble. (It can be a huge gamble in the summer too, of course!) Nobody relishes sitting through a wet, cold ceremony. But just imagine if you get one of those crisp, snowy days, with a blue sky. What could be more magical?
If you’re thinking of going for it, there are some ways of harnessing the climate to your advantage; you can also lessen its (negative) impact. So here’s what I, from my experience as a professional civil celebrant, suggest.
The Weather
Once you’ve taken the plunge (sorry about the pun!), then the decision is made and you simply have to make the best of it.
Two nice touches you could adopt are:
- Issue blankets (whether in themed colours or not) to guests
- When the guests arrive at the reception, rather than ice-cold champagne, why not offer them hot chocolate or mulled wine?
Make the Weather your Theme
You can use snowy scenes as background for your wedding invitations, RSVP cards, and, on the day, for the place cards.
Table decoration could include pine cones, foliage and lots of white. If it is likely to be snowy weather, plain white can work very well for the colour scheme.
You might even replace flowers (which, being out of season locally, can be costly) with pine cone bouquets, which are attractive as well as rather original.
Candles or tea lights may be a good idea, but you will have to take good old health and safety into account – people need to be able to see where they’re going and you don’t want fires breaking out, either! Also bear in mind that exposure to the elements may cause candles to be blown out or even to fall over!
Seasonal Colour
If you are having white as your themed colour, this may allow you to choose strong colours for bridesmaids, which could look very striking.
You can style the wedding cake with festive red and white.
The Garden
It can be a lot cheaper to use your garden for the wedding, rather than hiring a venue, and it may have, well, a homely feel about it, which can be charming. However, you might save less money than you think, and you risk missing out on that valuable peace of mind that dealing with professionals should afford.
You’ll have to make suitable arrangements for tables, chairs, toilets, parking, catering, place settings and electricity. Then you will need to offer protection from the elements, possibly providing blankets, as already suggested, and even umbrellas.
So, yes, an outdoor winter ceremony is a dangerous gamble, but the rewards can be so worthwhile …!
Just contact me for further information.
by Michael | Jun 25, 2018 | Blog
The proposal is over and done with. You’re engaged! What an exciting time! Congratulations!
Of course, this is a wonderful period. You’re walking on air. But maybe I can bring you down to earth just a little. There are some questions you need to consider.
Are you going to name the day now? What sort of ceremony will you have? What about the reception? Where will it be? Who will you invite?
And so it goes on …
That’s reality, I’m afraid!
First things first
If you’re opting for a full-religious ceremony, then your church/synagogue/mosque etc. will give you the information you will need.
If you’re not so sure you want to go down this route, then it’s worth reading on. Because you do have choices.
Options
There’s a register office wedding. That covers the legal bits. However, the ceremony is, frankly, not particularly special. The service (apart from the names used) will be the same from one couple to the next. You can feel part of a ‘conveyor-belt’.
Better than this is what a civil celebrant offers. He will create and conduct a tailor-made ceremony for you. You’ll still need to go to the register office with two witnesses to get the legal bits done before the civil ceremony. (This can happen the morning before, or a couple of days before.)
If you prefer, and you’re using a licensed premises, the registrars can be booked. They’ll come along, and, as soon as they have legally married you, you can proceed with the (celebrant-led) ceremony of your choice.
Advantages
One advantage of a civil ceremony is that you can have a service that is as religious – or not – as you want. Or – and this is great for people who are not marrying someone of the same faith – you can have a mixed religious ceremony. So, for example, I’ve been able to marry a Jew and a Christian, a Jewess and a Muslim and even a half-Jew and a pagan. We’ve been able to incorporate elements from both cultures each time, so everyone was happy.
The full-religious and, indeed, the Register Office, ceremonies follow a set pattern. However, with a (bespoke) celebrant-led ceremony, you can set your individual stamp on the proceedings.
Following a chat with your celebrant, who can suggest to you what is possible and guide you, you can work out a ceremony that reflects your personalities and beliefs, and will be everything you want it to be.
That means you have input into, and editorial control over, everything. You decide on the texts/poems/reading, reciting of vows, who actually participates, music, rituals etc. That’s what I mean by “tailor-made”. The ceremony will be unique: unforgettable for you and your guests; relevant and meaningful.
I can gladly give you more information. Just call or e-mail. This can be an excellent starting point for you, now that you’re engaged. Let me help you successfully tread the exhilarating road that leads to marriage.
by Michael | Jun 18, 2018 | Blog
OK, I’m think Vow Renewals are a delight. But why, actually, should anyone even consider renewing their vows?
Well, I’m a civil celebrant, so I have to conduct them and happen to love them. However, that response may not help you if you’re seeking justification!
I therefore suggest these (hopefully, more compelling!) reasons.
Why renew vows?
34% of marriages end in divorce and 33% of them end before 10 years, so there’s every reason to celebrate staying together. People often look at 10, 15, or other multiples of 5 years as good times to celebrate.
You don’t need to renew your marriage just because there’s a five or zero at the end of your anniversary. Renewing your vows can mark significant moments in your lives. These could be the birth of a baby, or coming out the other side of a difficult marital patch or illness. Maybe family and friends missed the original wedding because it took place abroad.
What is a Vow Renewal ceremony?
Of course, the ceremony is a public declaration of love between two people. It can be in front of 200 people, or it can be a tiny, informal affair for just a handful of guests. The venue can be virtually anywhere and you have total control over how big – or small – any reception may be.
The Vow Renewal ceremonies I conduct tend to be modest, but very beautiful. There may be religious content or not, or a mixture. When putting the ceremony together, I suggest readings and poems (and, where required, prayers) that are spiritual, meaningful and memorable. All are subject to the clients’ wishes.
Vows
A focal point is usually the vows themselves. These can be written by the couple, and are often very moving. I always offer guidance on writing these, as many people find the prospect daunting. If they prefer it, I can suggest vows for them.
Quite often, people want their rings blessed, which is another moving part of the ceremony.
Check list
You’ll need to consider the following when planning your Vow Renewal:
- Venue: you don’t need to be restricted (except by budget and legality!). So you can have the ceremony in your garden, at the top of the London Eye, in a luxurious hotel, in a park or on a bridge. Or maybe at the place where you originally tied the knot.
- Invitations: you can invite whoever you want to participate in the ceremony. Maybe you have children – why not ask them to take part? The size of the guest-list is entirely down to you.
- Dress: again, up to you (although make sure you communicate your preferences to your celebrant and guests, to avoid potential embarrassment!)
- Music: you may want to use the music that you heard at your wedding; you may want a relative (preferably with a great voice!) to do a solo; you may want to play a tune that means something very special to you both; you may want nothing – again, the choice is all yours.
- Photographer: you’ll want to capture the moment for posterity, so give some thought to hiring a good photographer (see my dedicated blog )
- Catering: even if you’re having a modest ceremony, some champagne (or equivalent) and a snack go will down well afterwards.
- Other possibilities, like a reception, may be taken into consideration too.
The Beauty of Freedom
The joy of renewing your vows is that you have such freedom to arrange the ceremony as you want. You can tell the world that you love your spouse and your spouse loves you. You don’t have to wait fifty years – you can do it when you’re ready. You can spend as much or as little as you want. You can involve whoever you want. It’s such a happy event.
I hope I’ve managed to convince you!
I would love to help you. Just phone or e-mail me.
by Michael | May 14, 2018 | Blog
What a privilege! I’m so lucky, doing what I do. True, I don’t get to choose where I get to officiate. However, I end up at some glorious ceremony venues.
I could wax lyrical about many of them, in truth. However, I want to keep this to a manageable length, so will exercise self-restraint (for once).
Indoors
I loved the opulence of the Savoy. I thought the Oak Room at le Meridien hotel, Piccadilly, wonderful. Mill Hill Chapel was imposing without making you feel daunted. The winner, though, must surely be Lillibrooke Manor.
The Great Barn, Lillibrooke Manor
The current Manor House was constructed in about 1490, but the Great Barn is an unparalleled venue that is full of atmosphere.
Outdoors
Can you beat Stonehenge for an iconic setting?!
The day I conducted a ceremony there were Druids processing among the stones, so it made it even more special. I don’t know how you can top that.
However, I was lucky enough to have a ceremony at Old Sarum. That is a lovely Iron Age fort overlooking Salisbury. This was actually my first wedding. I also remember it fondly because we avoided bad weather that January day.
Finally, I assisted at a wedding at the Rollright Stones, in Oxfordshire. They are fairly remote and not particularly well-known. However, they are an impressive and atmospheric stone circle. They are pretty much complete and overlook a valley.
Perhaps the most stunning setting, though, came abroad, when I conducted a destination wedding at the Hotel Anassa, Cyprus. I have shown this picture below in several blogs, but make no apologies for repeating myself. It was glorious!
So which ceremony venues have you seen that have particularly struck you? Do please share them with me.
And if you’re planning a ceremony somewhere very special, I’d like to know about it too. (And if you want to take me there with you as your celebrant, I’d be more than interested to have a chat with you!)
