What is your next celebration?

What is your next celebration?

I don’t suppose it takes much crystal-ball-gazing to guess that your next celebration is your birthday!

Happy Birthday!

If it is, how do you plan to mark the occasion? Off down the pub? Throw a party? A special outing? A restaurant meal out together with family or friends, or both?

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What if it’s a “big” birthday, though?  Ever thought of adding an extra dimension to the affair? (And if it’s not your birthday and you’re having a peek out of curiosity, you may consider adapting the following and organising this as a surprise!).

If you’ve decided on an event with guests, then why not book a civil celebrant? With your input, he can come up with the right words, maybe a blessing (which may or may not be religious) and perhaps a short summary of your life and achievements. It need last 5-10 minutes only, and could end, say, with a toast being proposed. It would be something very special and memorable.

Note that if you are organising this at a restaurant or hotel, you need to check practicalities (especially if you’re sharing the room with the public!).

Happy Anniversary!

Anniversary celebrations are catching on these days. There are lots of reasons to have these. Just a few examples would be:

  • to mark an anniversary ending in -5 or -0
  • to renew vows (because circumstances may have changed)
  • to announce to the world that you’ve successfully come through a difficult period

Whatever the reason, your celebrant can help you mark the occasion in a way that reflects your personalities. The ceremony may last 10-25 minutes (or whatever you choose), and can include religious components, if you want these, also music, readings (secular or otherwise), reciting of vows (new or old) and rituals (such as both of you lighting a Unity Candle – even in conjunction with your children).

So whether someone is planning a surprise or whether you’re choosing this for yourself, your civil celebrant can work with you to create a tailor-made ceremony of your dreams, and will conduct it for you memorably and professionally.

So how about a ceremony that is personal and maybe a little bit unconventional?

How not to sample the simple life

I have to confess that April was a very quiet month for me. For whatever reason, I had to scratch around for celebrant work, and found myself twiddling my thumbs some of the time. Was I condemned to the simple life?

Mercifully, a switch was flipped this month. But iI didn’t just get a wedding and a funeral for one week, and a Vow Renewal and another funeral, say, for the next. No it all came at once!

Following a (long-planned) wedding last weekend, I had to conduct a funeral on Monday, and was given three days’ notice for another one (which isn’t long, believe me!).

At the same time, a couple from South Africa, coming to London in three weeks, were trying to arrange a Vow Renewal (to surprise the husband). Would I locate a venue urgently, please?

Now I’m turning into an Event Planner!

Just before all that, a Paris travel agent phoned me out of the “bleu” and asked me if I could lead a Vow Renewal for a couple from Quebec – next week! Despite the lack of time available to prepare, I agreed. But it didn’t turn out to be straightforward.

Somewhere between myself, the travel agent, his colleagues in Quebec and the end client, the wrong contact details were passed. I had no way of getting through directly to the client (especially at the weekend), and it was only when he and his wife arrived in London (on Monday evening) that we made contact.

So I had to work very fast to compile a ceremony of choice.

One reason why the client had not been keen to contact me directly was because he was ashamed of his spoken English!

It also turned out that the husband was planning to surprise his wife too, so I was only able to communicate with him by text. Eventually, we were ready (so I thought) for Wednesday’s ceremony.

On the day, he texted me: could I find a photographer for the ceremony? (Event Planner again!) Fortunately, I have quite a wide data-base of suppliers, and I was able to find a suitable professional who chanced to be free that afternoon.

One further complication was that, although the husband had said that his wife was bilingual and that he understood English well enough, it was clear during the ceremony that he was struggling with his English.

I felt I had no option but to try and translate the important bits into French as we went. Now I had to be a simultaneous translator!

So, all in all, a very interesting, exciting 10 days for me. Everything turned out well, thank goodness, and I’d love to do more of the same, in truth, despite the pressure.

I’ve seen how far I can be pushed and still emerge unscathed, that I can adapt and work well under pressure, and I’m very proud. However, there is also something to be said for the simple life!

So what if it’s a quirky ceremony?

So what if it’s a quirky ceremony?

Celebrating a big event? A wedding, vow renewal or naming ceremony, perhaps? Did you realise that it doesn’t have to be conventional? Or even religious?

But can it be a quirky ceremony?

The answer to that last question is a resounding “yes”! If it’s your day (and surely it is), then you don’t have to be beholden to what other people think or expect.

That certainly doesn’t mean you should be tasteless or offensive – but you can be different. There is huge scope for creativity. It doesn’t take so much effort to come up with a memorable, meaningful and beautiful ceremony. And for all the help you will need, a civil celebrant can be there, with ideas and guidance. They are professionals and can really point you in the right direction.

So what do we mean by “quirky”?

The venue can be anywhere (subject to permission and possible payment!).  Why not hold a ceremony at Stonehenge or some other ancient monument? What about the top of the Shard in London? Or perhaps a hot-air balloon fits the bill? A museum? Your back garden? Let your imagination soar!

Barn Wedding 2

Rituals

Part of the ceremony can be something a little offbeat. You’ve probably read about handfastings in my blogs (eg https://vowsthatwow.co.uk/handfasting-whats-that/). That might appeal.

A ritual that brings a smile to a wedding is “Jumping the Broom”. The couple together jump over a besom (accompanied by appropriate words) to symbolise sweeping in the new.

The Unity Sand option is lovely. Both partners simultaneously pour sand in the colour of their individual choice into one larger bottle, so that the colours merge, just as their lives will.

Readings & Music

The content of the ceremony is ‘up for grabs’ too. The tone is up to you. There is no compulsion to include heavy, serious readings, if you don’t want them. Why not have a humorous poem or text, or even a few?

Choose your readers, if you want.

Similarly, while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a serious, classical piece played, your tastes may actually be rather different. So by all means let the music reflect these.

Your story, your vows

Personally, I welcome the opportunity to make ceremonies that I conduct as personal as possible. I believe the guests enjoy and appreciate this a lot too.

One feature I like to include, therefore, is what I call the couple’s “story”. In the case of a wedding, it might be how they met, adversity they had to overcome, and what attracted them to each other. The couple might write and declare their vows. For a Vow Renewal, maybe the couple would rewrite their vows, or prepare something about key moments in their relationship.

Although I’m always there to guide and advise, I think it’s best if the couple actually write this part themselves, if possible.

Funerals

It may surprise some readers to know that a funeral can be a quirky ceremony too!

In the same way as for celebratory occasions, you can introduce personal elements (often these would be personal to the deceased). At the time of writing, my latest funeral ended with everybody smiling and swaying, as we played out with the deceased’s favourite trad jazz band tune!

There are many ways to individualise a funeral. It can be a simple thing like a particular memento of the deceased displayed by the coffin. Again, your funeral celebrant will be glad to advise.

So I hope you now see that there’s nothing wrong with individualising your ceremonies – indeed, this can often add a tremendous amount to the proceedings.

Fantastic places for Renewing your Vows

Fantastic places for Renewing your Vows

You may never even have considered renewing your vows, but one of the beauties of such a ceremony (as opposed to a wedding, say) is that you have real choice.

Depending on your budget, you can hold a vast, lavish affair for a hundred or more in a plush hotel. Alternatively, you might prefer a modest ceremony in your back garden for close family and friends.

A wedding may require a church service or a registrar ceremony; the planning (ceremony and reception) may involve family; you may have to organise any or all of: venues, catering, flowers, photographers, evening entertainment – all the trimmings.

For a Vow Renewal, you invite who you want, and prepare the ceremony that you want, at the place that you want. (This may be with the help of a civil celebrant, but not necessarily.) The size and scope will be down to you.

To give you some idea of what you can have, I’d like to look at three Vow Renewals that I recently played a part in.

Three Differing Examples

Cox Vow Renewal - ceremony

A London hotel

One was fairly conventional (and that’s in no way a criticism!). It took place in a lovely Mayfair hotel, the Washington, before a couple of dozen guests. The room was opulent, but not overstated; there was a slide-show in the background, and the ceremony featured a moving, piece of music sung by a wonderful soprano.

The attention to detail by the staff was excellent, and we enjoyed a reception in the same room after the service. Though quite formal, it was a real feel-good affair.

Correen & Steve Farnborough Canal Centre

Messing About on the … Canal

Another couple were mad about barges, so Basingstoke Canal Centre made perfect sense for their venue.

The hire costs were negligible, as we used a secluded area in a wood with a tree trunk as a table, and benches made from trees, so the atmosphere was lovely. Dress was informal. The only expense (apart from refreshments, which the couple brought with them) was to hire a yurt for the reception (and for the ceremony, in case of rain). Again, we were only a couple of dozen chosen people.

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Stonehenge

Finally, how about a handfasting ceremony at Stonehenge? How atmospheric is that?

Actually, the atmosphere was different to what we expected, as it was Midsummer Day, and, uniquely, the site was free to visit. There was no chance to book the inner circle, so we shared the occasion with the public. In fact, we were actually part of quite a crowd – even though our party consisted only of the couple, a photographer, and myself. (Not to mention, Druids.)

A very special event indeed.

Other ideas

As a Londoner, I could suggest venues like the Shangri-la Hotel, up the Shard, or The Ritz or Savoy. At the other end of the scale – and be aware that you need permission – you could hold your ceremony on a bridge over the Thames or in Green Park.

What about booking the London Aquarium or the nearby London Eye?

Just the tip of the iceberg.

So be imaginative and relish a once-in-a-lifetime celebration!

 

Contact Michael for help, advice and guidance.

The how-to guide for a Vow Renewal

The how-to guide for a Vow Renewal

It can be a major mistake to overlook the opportunity to celebrate a Vow Renewal.

Some people assume that it’s simply an excuse to blow a load of money. Others don’t see the point: so what, if it’s my tenth (or whatever) year of marriage?

But you could really be missing out on something special.

Something special

What if you could come away from your Vow Renewal feeling the same as this couple?

“Thank you being our celebrant and putting together our vow renewal, the words felt very personal to us which made it quite an emotionally fuelled ceremony that just flowed but embraced everything we wanted with the readings, blessings of our rings, lighting of our unity candles and finally the signing of our certificate. Our friends and family all commented on how we always do things a bit different and this ceremony and celebration exceeded that. Thank you x”

[C & D – Genuine testimonial]

So what is a Vow renewal?

Essentially, it is an opportunity to reaffirm publicly your marital relationship. You may want to mark a special milestone year – or a new time in your marriage (following ill health, financial difficulties or even a rocky relationship).

Unlike your wedding, there are no legalities to worry about. The ceremony can be as lavish or modest as you choose. It can take place in a back garden, beside a canal, in a hotel or at the top of the Shard. You choose.

Cox Vow Renewal - ceremony

How is the occasion marked?

There is no prescribed ceremony, so if you want a religious or part-religious service, that’s fine. Secular is also fine! You want to dress up formally? Fine too! Or come casually? Why not?

How about including friends and/or relatives in the ceremony? Maybe you’ve got children and you want to involve them? You could include the lovely Unity Candle ritual. You might consider a handfasting.

You may want to have your rings blessed or recite your vows (your marriage ones, or a new set, if things have changed). You may want to play your favourite band’s music. The choice is huge.

How you mark the occasion is absolutely up to you  (though your celebrant will gladly guide and inspire you!).

How to arrange it?

This is likely to be a much more informal affair than a wedding. You may or may not offer a reception. It might be a buffet. You can hold it at a place that means something special to the two of you.

You will probably only need to do the following tasks as a minimum:

  1. Book a venue (unless you’re using your back garden, say)
  2. Organise the reception (according to the scale you are envisaging)
  3. Book your civil celebrant
  4. Send out invitations

So you can have the people you love and choose around you, as you celebrate your special occasion in the way that you want and dream of.

Isn’t that worth considering?

 

Michael would be delighted to give you more information or help you arrange your ceremony. Just contact him for a non-obligation chat.