by Michael | Jul 11, 2016 | Blog
Being in the wedding industry means you are part of people’s biggest day. I am very privileged to work as a civil celebrant, and serve my clients by creating and conducting the ceremony itself.
Others contribute with their own specialisms. Who do you go to, if you want to organise a destination wedding? Or your honeymoon?
Obviously, a travel agent. There are a lot of them out there, though.
I recently met Uli Williams, who is an independent Travel Counsellor. When she had explained to me how she can arrange all this – and with the personal touch – I thought I should share her offerings with you, my readers, so this week’s blog is written by Uli. Enjoy!
Turning Your Dreams into Reality
Isn’t it exciting to organise your Big Day, looking forward to tie the knot with your loved one?
I know that planning your wedding day and honeymoon is one of the most exciting periods of your life – but it’s often among the most stressful! From grand arrangements to the finer details that make your wedding unique, there’s plenty to organise to ensure that you get hitched without any hitches. As your personal Travel Counsellor, you can relax while I take care of it all for you.
We can discuss your personal ideas and requirements to create your hen and stag dos, dream wedding day and honeymoon to remember.
Perhaps it’s against a backdrop of azure seas, with soft white sand between your toes. Maybe it’s a New York party into the early hours after a wedding in Central Park?
Whatever makes up your unique vision for the perfect marriage, I can make it happen for you.
Travel Counsellors offer a unique ‘Honeymoon Gift Registry’ which will enable your guests to give you the most memorable gift of all – the honeymoon of your dreams. This registry service works much like the usual department store wedding list, except that your wedding guests can contribute monetary amounts towards your honeymoon plans.
If you have decided to get married abroad, maybe just the two of you or with a close circle of family, why not have a wedding blessing after your return to the UK, allowing your wider family and friends to celebrate your wedding and share your happiness?
If you are looking for a memorable, meaningful ceremony, think about using a civil celebrant. With his/her advice and guidance, you can enjoy that unique experience that reflects your personalities and beliefs. Why not give Michael Gordon, at Vows That Vow, a call? He is passionate about making your day just as you want. www.vowsthatwow.co.uk
Get in touch with me for your personalised, professional wedding planning!
Contact: Uli Williams, Travel Counsellor
E: uli.williams@travelcounsellors.com
T: 07739 184865 or 01992 877 390
Webpage: www.travelcounsellors.co.uk/Uli.Williams
Thank you so much, Uli.
by Michael | Jul 5, 2016 | Blog
It’s not unusual for couples to be entering a second marriage. As a celebrant, I delight in seeing more mature people so obviously in love and glowing with joy.
Being that bit older can often mean that the couple has freedom to choose how they want to mark their big occasion. They may be of independent means – and, of course, their parents may not have the influence on decisions that they once had – indeed, they may not even be around any more. So the couple can do it “their way”, and that’s brilliant!
However, a more challenging aspect may be how (or if) to involve any children that may be on the scene.
The children’s ages will be a deciding factor, as will personality, and personal choices.
If you want to involve them actively, I’d suggest any (or all) of the following – aimed primarily, but not exclusively, at teenage children:
- Involve them in the planning
Your children will probably appreciate being consulted and involved, particularly when it comes to the reception. They may have surprisingly good ideas about a children’s table, their menus, entertainment and music.
They might even emerge onto the dance floor at the reception, if a few of their favourite songs have been included.
- Involve them practically
More artistic children may be able to create décor either for the ceremony or for the reception (serviette folding, name cards, banners, etc.).
Musical ones – very musical children – may be able to sing or play something either at the ceremony or at the reception. (Just beware of being too self-indulgent : inviting little Johnny, who’s only had four hours’ lessons, to play Sibelius’s violin concerto is asking for a lot of restlessness among the guests [beyond the initial “aaah, bless”].)
Some may be able to read a text of some sort (although they may need instruction on reading in public).
Children may be part of the procession/recession, although again instruction from, say, the celebrant may be wise.
Do give each of the children a role, and, unless it is unavoidable, don’t leave anyone out.
- Invitations
If it fits in with your budget, maybe you can let your child invite a best friend. That way, they won’t feel isolated in an adult world, but can enjoy empathetic company.
- The Ceremony
Apart from processing, a child can be an usher (possibly, with a specific role, such as directing people to their places, or collecting and guarding the presents). A child can give away the mother, or can be the ring-bearer (but choose that child with care!).
Children can also be part of a ritual.
- Unity Rituals
Among possible rituals, one example is the Unity Candle ritual. Each child is provided with a taper and (health and safety permitting!) they all use these to light the Unity Candle together with the bride and groom. The symbolism is strong and affecting.
An alternative is for them to make vows to their new step-parents (who could reciprocate).
- Make the children feel special
Again, age will be a determinant, but an older child could propose a toast at the reception.
Dancing with the step-parents can be a lovely touch (but arrange this with both parties well in advance!).
Children can be a boon or a challenge at such an event. Make a positive out of their presence!
As the children (like it or not!) are joining a new family, it makes a lot of sense to include them wherever possible. If you start bonding with them in early days, that has got to make sense, hasn’t it?
by Michael | Jun 28, 2016 | Blog
Looking for a special ceremony?
As a civil celebrant, if I’m doing my job properly, the ceremonies I put together and conduct will be special. (Usually for the right reasons too!) However, sometimes expectations are exceeded!
Early this year I was invited to conduct a ceremony for an American couple marking thirty years of marriage. They wanted a handfasting – that’s quite special – for 21st June (Summer Solstice) – even more so – and the venue they had chosen was Stonehenge (now we’re really talking “special”!).
The problem was we were too late to book the inner circle. We could do the ceremony outside the circle, where the public are allowed, but we were warned to expect vast crowds. My Americans accepted all this, and, after some negotiation, we fixed a time.
On an impulse, I checked with Stonehenge a couple of weeks before the ceremony. It turns out that they had changed the arrangements totally! The whole of Stonehenge would be closed from 8 a.m. (yes, in the morning!) for the entire day. So our ceremony was out of the window.
Fortunately, K and M were sufficiently flexible, and we arranged to meet at Stonehenge late in the morning of the following day (22nd). What would the day bring?
Well, fortunately, although it rained hard the day before and there were dramatic downpours the evening of our visit, we escaped any extreme weather. That was already a cause for celebration!
However, we hadn’t bargained for a procession of white-clad Druids in the inner circle, and they made a fascinating backdrop to our event. We also drew quite a crowd ourselves (as anticipated), who loved the ceremony and whose good wishes added so much.
Finally, K, M and I really gelled, and the atmosphere was just wonderful. They told me that the ceremony was perfect and everything they had been hoping for; I’m delighted to say that, despite the unpromising lead-up, the ceremony turned out to be extra-special for me too.
I’m game for more like that, if anyone else you know is!
by Michael | Jun 21, 2016 | Blog
My job is to marry people. My ceremonies usually include advice and suggestions for making the marriage a success. How much the couples remember of my words, especially with all the other big day distractions, I don’t know, but at least they will have the wedding script that I send them, and there may be a video. Thus they are able to revisit my words.
So what do I, a civil celebrant, know about marriage, successful or otherwise?
I have gleaned quite a lot of experience from my own marriage (we are approaching 20 years together) as well as those of my circle. I do see a number of my friends in unhappy or broken marriages. I read a lot. And I know that there are plenty of statistics that bear out the truism that you have to work at marriage.
I’d like to look at one area that can certainly damage a marriage.
Stress
A marriage can be damaged by jealousy, finances, differing life styles, health issues, sex, in-laws, infidelity … the list goes on.
How should you react to stresses like these?
One surprising answer is to take care of yourself.
If you are going to address your relationship issues with clarity, you need your mental and intuitive faculties to be in balance.
You also need to be aware that you are part of a two-way relationship.
Solutions
The habit of meditation can produce a calmer mind-set. Another useful thing is taking time-out. “I don’t want to react stupidly, so I’m leaving the room for a moment to think about my reply.” Ten seconds out before riposting, can be very valuable.
In more serious cases, you need to be able to manage your reactions. Keeping calm and being reasonable (rather than flying off the handle unthinkingly) can be so beneficial. Discussion, give and take, listening to the other are all techniques that can help resolve crises successfully.
Sometimes there may be a problem that is (inadvertently, or not) of your causing, and if it can be acknowledged, it will be easier to resolve. Often there is a major misunderstanding, which, once expressed, becomes trivial.
If you’re upset with your partner, your tendency may be to avoid him/her, but it can be useful (particularly if you share a pastime) to spend some more time together. I don’t mean sitting in the same room, posting on FaceBook or playing electronic games, but doing things where you interact. You may have to schedule actual dates, but showing your partner that they are a priority can only be to the good.
Remember that it is so much easier to talk to and understand your partner when you are calm and centered.
You have the tools and skills to handle whatever may transpire in your relationship, and this should give you the confidence that you can enjoy a happy, long-term marriage. Combine it with love, and you will have every reason to anticipate a wonderful marriage!
by Michael | Jun 14, 2016 | Uncategorized
We’re a dozen days away from London’s Gay Pride weekend. It’s become a big event. I’ve never attended, but I imagine it is normally a colourful and joyous occasion.
Outrage or agreement?
However, the recent events in Pulse will surely overshadow its riotous and exuberant side. How can one fail to be affected by a massacre, not least of innocent people?
Well, apparently, one can.
I understand (just) that people may disapprove of homosexuality. I get that it’s not easy for everybody to come to terms with it. However, I never expected that people would come out and declare that it was fine because gays deserved what happened in Orlando, and that was not the least they should have coming to them. Roll on more massacres!
How can you agree with the view that you should disapprove of (let alone hate) someone who is a homosexual? That a gay person must be a deviant and in some way inferior and less human (shades of Nazi Germany?).
But to slaughter unarmed people innocently enjoying themselves ….
Reaction
At about the same time as sick idiots were posting their support for the outrage, I saw one post (from @ThatBloke_Jesus!) that warmed my heart: “If your Religion would rather see two men holding guns than holding hands, then you really need to question your beliefs.”
Oh, yes.
In case anyone wonders, I am straight (and in a happy heterosexual marriage). As a civil celebrant, I do perform same-sex ceremonies, but I support and encourage straight relationships too.
What counts is not someone’s sexuality. (How does being gay make you a bad person?) Surely there are other factors that determine whether a person is worthy or unworthy (even if our credentials to judge others are shaky in the extreme – “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”).
I still won’t be attending the Gay Pride weekend, but I hope it goes off without a hitch. I hope that a group of decent human beings will be allowed to express themselves and have a great time. That wish may come to fruition on the 25th and 26th.
The wish that people will turn away from hatred, prejudice and violence is perhaps a little less likely to be realised.
