by Michael | Jan 30, 2024 | Blog
It’s really nice to be appreciated!
I recently received this thank-you email, and it made all the work so worthwhile!
“First I would like to
thank you from myself and Allan and family for the wonderful order of service you gave at my brothers funeral.
Your help was outstanding in every way in helping me through the writing of the order of service as I had never had to do this before being the youngest of 6, everyone that I spoke to commented how lovely it was in which you helped celebrate our brothers life and added humour into it with dignity.
Myself and the family have all said that if they were ever asked they would not hesitate in recommending your services.
Many thanks”
AC.
by Michael | Jan 23, 2024 | Blog
Weddings can cost a shedload of cash, of course.
You may well choose to use professionals, and, as their name suggests, they’re going to want paying. It’s not unreasonable, as they will be giving up time and drawing on valuable experience and expertise, not to mention training, to ensure your event is a success. They also offer precious peace of mind …
So how do you save money on your wedding?
One solution is to go down the DIY route, but I do not recommend this. It’s only likely to work if your wedding will be really small. Even then it will take some doing not to forget something along the way.
You might choose to dispense with a few potential suppliers and focus on what may be hardest to achieve. You may have a friend who is an expert photographer (say) and who is willing to shoot the pictures. Even that is risky, especially if they accidentally get something irrevocably wrong.
You can sometimes make savings when booking a venue, if you negotiate. One position of strength is if you arrange your event out of season. Even better, having the ceremony (say) in the morning and the reception in the afternoon.
You can save money by hiring, rather than buying, the groom’s suit or the bride’s wedding dress. What about hiring a wedding planner for the day (if it’s a smaller ceremony) or for a week (for a larger one)?
Get your flowers in season – that’ll save a bit. So will having a cash bar for the reception.
Do your homework, if you’re having a reception. How pretentious do you want the food to be? Do you need silver service? What sort of entertainment do you want to offer?
There are certain areas and suppliers where you shouldn’t compromise (I’m thinking, for one, of your celebrant!). But I hope I have given you a few ideas you can pursue to bring down those expenses.
by Michael | Jan 8, 2024 | Blog
Welcome to my first newsletter of the year! May your year be exciting and full of good health, prosperity and contentment.
I wonder whether you go in for New Year’s Resolutions at all? It’s quite a good idea to reset your targets and aim for new, beneficial challenges. But it won’t work if you set your sights too high, of course. How many gym memberships are taken out this month, only to fade into disuse or even cancellation before the end of winter?
One thing you can resolve to do is to make the best of things and be grateful for what you are receiving.
A beautiful way to do this is by creating a public ceremony. If you’re thinking that this can only be a wedding or naming ceremony, then think again.
You can celebrate other things in life. What about if you receive a windfall? Or someone has recovered from serious ill health? Maybe you can mark an anniversary. Years ending in -0 or -5 are particularly worth celebrating.
Or maybe your wedding vows have become outdated and you want to renew them publicly? Your family may have grown, and you want to include them in a life-cycle ceremony.
All these things are worth commemorating. And one of the joys about them is that you don’t need official input. Not like a wedding or birth, which need to be registered officially.
You can carry out these other ceremonies freely and absolutely in your style.
You may well have no idea how to set about putting together such a ceremony. That’s where a civil celebrant like myself can come in. We will ask you questions – and listen to your answers! – to establish the structure and tone of the desired service. If you have a vision, we’ll look at how we make that work.
Your celebrant can advise you (what texts and/or rituals do you put in? how do you include religious elements (if any)? How can you involve family members and/or friends?)
These are all questions that your celebrant ought to be able to resolve with you.
Then it’s a case of choosing a venue and date and sending out those invitations!
I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you.
Happy New Year!
by Michael | Dec 29, 2023 | Blog
It’s the season for reflection and stock-taking. Perhaps you’d be willing to hear about my year?
Health issues dominated, as in 2022.
Almost a year ago, I had successful cataract eye surgery. Less good news was the fact that I have also had to undergo quite a few tests to explain why I have been losing so much weight. The results are still unclear (and tests are ongoing), but we seem to have slowed the problem somewhat and I’m functioning about as normally as I get!
This has meant, however, that I have not given my business the attention it needs and deserves. So I have conducted very few weddings and even fewer handfastings, vow renewals or namings over the year.
In common with a lot of people in the funeral business, I have found that this has not been a rich year for deaths. Some would be glad of that, but things could have been busier for me. However, I have managed to keep myself occupied, and that’s pleasing.
Along with other celebrants, I have been awaiting the government’s response to the Law Commission’s proposals for Wedding Law Reform. This was due last July, and we are still waiting …
On a happier note, we did a lot of travelling in 2023 (including our first longer holiday since Lockdown).
After a (single!) cold January night In Hamburg, we spent a lovely week in the Lisbon area in May. It was our first time in Portugal, and we plan to return!
We celebrated Isobel’s big birthday in June (a month early!) in (what actually was) sunny Manchester, with a night away and a visit to the Coronation Street Studios.
The two of us were in Czechia for 4 nights in October and I spent another night away, this time in Berlin with our son, Sigii, a few weeks later.
This gave me quite an appetite for further travel, and 2024 looks promising. We’ll be marking our silver wedding anniversary and my 70th birthday. So, plenty to look forward to (and I prefer to do that rather than focus on less cheerful things). I hope you have plenty of appealing prospects for the year too.
I sincerely hope the past year has not been too trying for you (whether health-wise or energy-wise or financially etc.) and that you can enjoy the festive period with people you love.
Thank you for reading my blog(s) and I wish you all the very best – health, prosperity, contentment – for the New Year.
by Michael | Dec 18, 2023 | Blog
One of the hardest battles that confront me is persuading couples to use my services! Not that I am not a good celebrant (I believe most would say I’m a very good one!). But the real reason is that, if they’re not having a church wedding, they assume that they can only have a register office ceremony. And that surely means that any civil celebrant ceremony is redundant. There’s no point to it. It’s an expensive luxury.
So what are the pros and cons?
Reasons not to have a celebrant-led ceremony
You may want minimal fuss. You don’t like being in the limelight. You want the ceremony over with as quickly as possible. Oe you really can’t afford a “luxury”.
Then it makes sense to stop at the registrar-led service.
What is the Register Office ceremony like?
The registrars have limited freedom, and can therefore vary their services only slightly. All these have to include certain legal words. Of course, registrars are not allowed even to mention God or anything religious.
Most services last a dozen minutes (plus the signing) and are not particularly inspiring. The couple has minimal input into the content. Also, many registrars are not fully trained in public speaking and may not present particularly well.
What can the Celebrant do better?
First and foremost, the civil celebrant offers a personal service. They will work with you to ensure your dreams are realised, wherever possible. They will create a ceremony unique to you. It will reflect your personalities and beliefs and be everything you want it to be.
So your ceremony may have some religious content (but doesn’t have to). It may include some ritual (eg a handfasting). Readings may be chosen by the couple, as may readers. Individual stories may be recounted, vows written, rings blessed. The tone can be serious, light-hearted or a combination.
The celebrant will have been trained to write excellently and to present effectively.
It may even be that the much-delayed proposed Law Commission proposals for marriage reform goes through. In that case, we hope that (trained) celebrant ceremonies will be considered legal. This would mean that there would be no obligation to attend a Register Office service.
So I hope it is now clear that, although a celebrant-led service is an “add-on” to the Register Office one, it is something different and well worth considering.
Photo: Jamie Dodd
